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What do you crave? (Right now or deep down)

[INFJ] 
2K views 47 replies 30 participants last post by  Asmodaeus 
#1 ·
As simple, personal or complex as you like :)
We all know a lot of infjs tend to have problems revolving around going out and reaching for what they want for themselves so I figure it'd be a nice question to place here for everyone to express that part of themselves they tend to bury.

Write about anything really, as shallow or deep and meaningful as you wish!
You can even write what might be stopping you if you like.

As for me, right in this moment, I'm craving an intimate connection with myself, through movement, dance and self-expression, and to a lesser extent to express that through and with someone.

What's stopping me?
Usually my sensitivity to other people in social situations and my natural empathy towards others. Been working on these for a while and have made a lot of progress, even though I can't tell if things have changed in the last month or two when I have made more dramatic choices.
The last few years dictate that things do change, having come from me being a complete social recluse without friends (with black-out/panic attack level social anxiety) to being one of the most playful/expressive people in a group of strangers at times, and ever more often as time passes.

What do you crave? Or have craved for a long time?
 
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#4 ·
I often crave for chips. That was the theme of yesterevening.

What's stopping me? Common sense. :laughing: Not another bag, not yet.



I'm also wondering why is it that my number one way to escape stress is to seek out females to obsess over. It must be a craving since it's so systematic.

What's stopping me from, uh, not seeking? I'm not sure. Rational thinking turns off when emotion takes over. Wish I knew.
 
#6 ·
I'm also wondering why is it that my number one way to escape stress is to seek out females to obsess over. It must be a craving since it's so systematic.

What's stopping me from, uh, not seeking? I'm not sure. Rational thinking turns off when emotion takes over. Wish I knew.
Oh that does relieve a huge amount of stress haha xD
Even if I'm obsessing over them in a friendly way :3 I think it balances out my more stoic tendencies and allows me to express more positive emotions. I do tend to be more proactive and productive while in an obsession in other areas of life as if I have more energy for some reason, but it took about a year of practice before I could 'rational' with any obsession at all, still learning to do it better :)
I wonder why I don't obsess over other things anymore though?

I think I crave females to obsess over because I partly don't like focusing on myself and I look for deep and meaningful connections with others, which is easier with women than men because men are generally too guarded with a tendency to intellectualise everything.

@Snowflake Minuet
The difficulties of a modern world for sensitive souls. I hope you get some time to yourself over the holidays if you can :) (Or make time either way)
 
#5 ·
Definitely a certain someone at the moment. (stopped by difficult circumstances. darn you feelings, you really know how to pick challenges!!)

Dark chocolate. (stopped by the fact that I don't have any with me right here right now)

To really play my violin again. (stopped by this craziness that is the time/life consuming architecture major)

A nice drive out on some windy roads. (same as above)

A better design solution. (maybe what I have now isn't all that bad, other people like it. I've just been feeling down about a lot of things lately, and that goes for my designs too)

Sleep. (stopped by studio and research and feelings and etc. etc.)
 
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#7 ·
Love and physical affection.
Right now as much as deep down.

It was all I ever wanted in my life, but life decided to withhold it from me for some reason.
Perhaps so that I can appreciate it more if I experience later on. I hope.

Or maybe reality is just a cruel joke, or just purely random, implementing desires in individuals that those individuals are unable to reach.
 
#8 ·
I am craving at least a full week of perfect solitude.... but life is such that I can barely have a few hours to myself. I am exhausted from a bunch of well meaning people thinking they are helping me but end up being a bigger burden, even if I've told them I need time to myself....
and also raw cookie dough, weed and sheperd's pie..... also seeing Thor Ragnarok for my superhero fix :tongue:
 
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#17 ·
Companionship. I miss just being able to hang out with someone and relax with them that can also move into an intimate level as the day progresses.
 
#21 ·
I don't think it's impossible, it's just extremely rare. I've only met one person who fit that bill before but due circumstances at the time (her partner had insecurities around male friendships), we didn't end up friends either.

She literally exuded these traits where ever she went and around her I did to, far more than I do on my own. It was like I become 200 times or over more me than I usually am on my own.. and several times more than I've ever felt before.

I wrote this around that time:

Know no compromise my dear heart,
For you are much dearer to me dreaming
Than you will ever be—
Within glass remnants.

Seek for me—

The love you don't believe in,
A love that is all revealing.
 
#23 ·
A lot of INFJ's crave hugs. I cannot hug enough! But I am not always that good at initiating hugs.

I crave for someone to take care of me for a change. But on the other hand: I am really bad at letting people taking care of me, or asking them to.
I also crave a little bit more guidance in life. Man, how I hate being a grown up sometimes - financial issues you have to sort out. Maybe I crave a moment of freedom/playtime as well (to worry about nothing)(and in comes the addiction behavior ;))
 
#31 ·
@OrangeCounty Haha, puppy love... I think I still experience a lot of it just through wanting to be friends with specific people. It's obviously not the same though. I miss the complete and utter bliss of (and for) days.



Hahahahaha, Oh how long I have wished for a mentor in life (since I was about 5/6 probably), never really got one but certain books definitely help, I like to read poetry/quotes by alfa, j. m. storm, lang leav, alexandra elle, khalil gibrand + Others when I need to realign myself to what I believe in, that and I've been writing a thing for my 10 year old niece I can link you to if you'd like, it's basically everything I probably needed to hear as an empathetic and deeply thoughtful child. Beware though, it's nearing 10,000 words and hasn't been edited/completed.

I've been practicing silliness and allowing myself to be 'immersed' in things outside of.. work for lack of a better word and I think it's going great, it really helps to cultivate the ability to 'switch off' and not feel like you're procrastinating, but mind you I've been practicing it for about 5 years and only really got anywhere after 2-3 years.

I also don't think a lot of infjs know what a real hug feels like, sadly. If they did, infj-land would be physical (non-sexual) intimacy central haha.

I am bad at having other people take care of me, it is a thing that shall not be discussed at this point in time :x (I will fix it later)
But I will say that no will ever truly experience love until they open themselves to someone expressing feelings of care and love towards them, accepting it in it's entirety.

That´s a cool question. =)
Right now I crave for finding myself and getting healthier. This is at the moment the most important thing to me, because I see so many people suffering from their current life situation (could be stress, anxiety, unhealthy lifestyle). So I started my progress with going to psycho therapy the next days, I am a little scared of that but I know it was the right decision. Taking time for my two rabbit ladies and give them love. And most important of all getting to know myself even better than now by recognizing my emotions and intuition. And start meditating. =)
I hope all this will work out as I planned, I guess that will take alot of time.

And when I feel ready I will do what my heart mostly craves for: finding (or prepare for) my soulmate or twin flame. <3
I've been learning to dance lately as an exercise in "Being myself no matter the circumstances", it comes with near-crushing self-doubt a few days later as a side dish though xD
You sound like you're ~2 years behind from where I am now in some ways and I can tell you now that you won't realise it in each moment how you've changed, but if you compare yourself to how you were a year or a few months ago there will be huge differences in how you experience life as long as you keep working on it and remember why you're doing what you're doing.
Psychotherapy if done correctly will actually teach you to be your own therapist(as an infj anyways, not sure about other types so much), it reforms your thought behaviours to be more constructive of yourself rather than destructive.

As for that last line, Ack! my weak spot x.x
I want to shove it under a couch some days.

I'm craving to get to know this one person more. I would be satisfied if it just got to a friendship level at most. I would say that is the most realistic in this situation. I would say we're more friendly acquaintances at the moment. I'm very awkward and we are friendly enough with each other but there is a lack of connect between us. I think it's due to us being very opposite personalities and having different interests. I just wish that I could get to know him more because he's a really cool guy but I get the sense I'm not his favorite person in the world... at all.
I find the easiest way to connect with anyone is to connect through their interests, which often times for me is just discussing them and seeing their eyes light up, for them it may be 'in' the activity itself. Everyone has a different way of 'connecting'.

I also believe 'awkward' is a special ability in itself, it allows you to be different and stand out without being judged for it because everything you do would also be considered 'cute' haha.. I can't count how many times people have called me that at some point. It actually gives you more freedom than most people to 'step outside' of what is considered normal, because you're already different.

Sex. Lots of it. Haven't had enough sex in this life yet. I wish I wasn't such a mess, it would make satisfying this need simpler.


Ahahaha, often times the solution is simpler than we ourselves would think it to be. I advocate living a life with no regrets, so go for it, you won't get any if you don't make it a higher priority.

Having said that, maybe you already have thought it through, because what kind of infj doesn't think? (Albeit more often too much than too little).
 
#25 ·
That´s a cool question. =)
Right now I crave for finding myself and getting healthier. This is at the moment the most important thing to me, because I see so many people suffering from their current life situation (could be stress, anxiety, unhealthy lifestyle). So I started my progress with going to psycho therapy the next days, I am a little scared of that but I know it was the right decision. I was super stressed at work and I took abreak for two weeks now, because things there are overwhelming to me. Taking time for my two rabbit ladies and give them love. Quitting my current job next year and go to university and get healthier by stopping eating and drinking those junk foods. I currently stopped drinking products that contain caffeine because my heart was so fast after that, so I quitted it. And most important of all getting to know myself even better than now by recognizing my emotions and intuition. And start meditating. =)
I hope all this will work out as I planned, I guess that will take alot of time.

And when I feel ready I will do what my heart mostly craves for: finding (or prepare for) my soulmate or twin flame. <3
 
#26 ·
I'm craving to get to know this one person more. I would be satisfied if it just got to a friendship level at most. I would say that is the most realistic in this situation. I would say we're more friendly acquaintances at the moment. I'm very awkward and we are friendly enough with each other but there is a lack of connect between us. I think it's due to us being very opposite personalities and having different interests. I just wish that I could get to know him more because he's a really cool guy but I get the sense I'm not his favorite person in the world... at all.

I'm also craving a bacon cheeseburger with guacamole and an egg on top.
 
#32 ·
@zKyuu

It's true that we're all unique in our own ways and that's a very great thing. I do love it when I'm able to connect and talk with people much different than I am. It's a really great feeling when it does happen so the effort is worth it. It can take a little while to get to know me though.

I have tried in the past to talk to him about what he is interested but sometimes I feel like me not being knowledgeable about the topic becomes apparent and obvious. There have been some pleasant conversations we've had in the past but I would want to become better friends. I guess that there is some common ground in our interests even if there are many differences so I can keep that in mind for next time. Sometimes I feel like this person is very knowledgeable and so much more articulate on many topics than I am and it can be intimidating communicating to an extent. He's still awesome but it's just my nervousness. He also is more blunt and outspoken about opinions which can lead to interesting discussions and I think is an awesome quality. I feel like what I have to say doesn't really add much substance to the conversation. In the future, I can try harder to talk about the things that that he is interested in. I will have to keep this in mind in the future. I want it to happen naturally and I don't want to try too hard too soon and scare him away. I wouldn't want for that to happen.

Yes, quirks can make us endearing and I find that I love many people for their quirky personalities.
 
#36 ·
Deep down I just want out. This game of life that people play, I'm tired of it.
 
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