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What is your reaction?

If I find out that a friend (and they don't have to be particularly close to me) likes the same guy, I tend to back away and 'clear the field'.

Not because of intimidation, but because I like to avoid conflict - plus, I am idealistic in the sense that if the guy would have chosen me anyway, he would come after me, and it will all end amicably :tongue:

I don't get all the fighting over guys/love interests etc. There are so much more fish in the sea, and it seems all petty to me.

In my mind, I guess, I'm placing myself at an 'objective' distance away, and, if he is interested, he would take active steps towards me. That way, my friend won't be hurt (you can't force someone to love you after all), there is no sense of competition, and, if he chooses her, I'm happy for them.

Needless to say, throughout the entire time, I will be keeping my feelings to myself. I rarely confide about who I love to others. I guess I like to cherish a secret crush!
 

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i will tend to distance myself from aquaintances who share the same love interest as i. girls, i've noticed, have this horrible habit of trying to cuddle up to you and make you their 'friend' so they can then lay claims to the guy/play alpha female... if i think they're pulling this shit i'll just shirk them as i have before. i don't have time for that kind of manipulation.

i knew someone who was either a very unhealthy ESFP or Borderline Personality Disordered who did this. it got annoying.

if someone i'm genuinely friends with has feelings, and they're stronger than mine/the guy likes her back [more], then it'd hurt but i'd back off.
however, if it's the other way around, well, sorry, but these things happen. and often at that. it's rare for me to crush, and even rarer to have a mutual crush on someone, so i'd jump at the chance.
also, some girls just have a crush on every man in the vicinity. that also gets annoying. choose one of your other 9 crushes, let me have my shot! jeeze!
 

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I back off, especially if I see she is gung ho about trying to capture his interest. I don't want to pull the rug out from under her, and really, I'll probably meet someone else some day. For all I know, that guy might not have been a good match for me. However...if the guy does approach me and show he's interested in me, I'm certainly not going to turn him away... After all, I wasn't the one initiating the pursuit. ;)
 

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I think it depends on how much I like the individual. If it's just a crush or someone whom I don't see a future with, I'd most probably just distance myself from the person.
 

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Hmmm, I found myself in this situation not so long ago...

Myself and my ENTJ acquaintance (not a really good friend, but a lovely girl and we have been out a few times together...) both REALLY fancied my now, INFJ boyfriend..

It was difficult. My INFJ knew we both liked him (probably before I even knew for sure myself, ha :]) and my ENTJ told me how much she liked him. Well, as soon as she said that, I just kind of lied and said I could see how she could be attracted to him; I was reluctant to tell her I liked him I guess I can tell she's the competitive type.

Meanwhile, myself and my boyfriend were getting on like a house on fire - instant, intense attraction/click - but keeping it as friends, while the whole time my ENTJ friend was asking me for advice about how she should act with him and did I think she had a chance with him etc etc - which was very difficult to hear.

To be honest though, once I knew my boyfriend was interested in me romantically, and not her, I kind just shrugged off the fact she liked him - it's not my fault he wasn't interested in her and he really is a great guy so I would have been INSANE not to take action and not see where it could have went...

Telling her was a bit difficult, we went out and I did the whole 'drunken confession' thing, she's not really been the same with me since - BUT as I say, she wasn't a close friend. I NEVER would have done it to a close friend, but I guess it still sounds a bit cold-hearted and callous all the same.

But fuck it, he's an awesome guy.
 

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plus, I am idealistic in the sense that if the guy would have chosen me anyway, he would come after me, and it will all end amicably :tongue:
Not rry true tho. Sometimes a dude just goes along with whatteeevveerr is happening.

I don't get all the fighting over guys/love interests etc. There are so much more fish in the sea, and it seems all petty to me.

In my mind, I guess, I'm placing myself at an 'objective' distance away, and, if he is interested, he would take active steps towards me.
Sounds like more of an attitude to a little crush, as opposed to WHOOAA HOLY SHIT WTF OMG HOW POSSIBLE super high instant level of attraction.

When it comes to competition for mates who I am really interested in (I wud have to be friends with the female for a while to feel that strongly), I get very territorial. I want all competing males to die, and I wouldn't care. I don't actually hurt anyone, but primal instincts do kick in. There's a small part of me that wants to dominate and control everyone and everything, but that part of me rarely comes out.
 
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