discussing awesomely intriguing scientific facts and theories ( he's a physicist and has explained loads of awesome theories to me and my brother since we were little kids, and in a way that we could actually understand something), playing games ( i actually am still sometimes surprised at how excited he gets once into a game and feels the competition) or criticising the things in media or elsewhere, as in, pointing out the mistakes they make, both factual and grammatical, etc., etc, lots of brainy talk stuff.
I am an INTJ. Im just curious what you ENFJs think of INTJs. For those of you who arent familiar-
We Live inside our heads
We are perfectionists and have high standards for others
We dont open up to people quickly but when we do we really care about people
Need to be alone/ retreat back into thought after too much socializing
Love to learn/talk about theories and nerdy stuff
Inefficiency drives us crazy
We can be very uptight/reserved
We tend to be deep and mysterious I guess
Oh and were slightly conceited and awkward =)
I have two very close friends who are INTJs.
I find their insights amazing, and we seem to have a lot of mutual fascination with one another's perspectives.
I strongly admire INTJ insight, though I had to learn how to get over my reservations at first, because INTJ insights originally struck me as amoral and offended my idealism. However, now that I've gotten to know some INTJs, I really love them. You guys are so shrewd and brilliant in ways that I'm not, and your dry wit keeps me in stitches. I don't think there is really a better pairing to help each other develop. We teach you guys Fe (which is the most important function for you guys to develop to help you be balanced healthy human beings - just trust me on this) as well as how to strengthen your Se. You guys teach us Te (which we sorely lack and desperately need in order to have a truly balanced mind) and how to strengthen our Ni.
It is rare that me and my INTJs clash, though when we do, we're usually very good at walking away until we cool off. My need to keep a conversation going, or my capacity to be overly emotional has caused them to want to pull away (as I've been told). One of the things they claim is the most difficult for them is my 'demanding curiosity' - where I keep asking them questions with a lot of expectation that they will answer them.
From my perspective... I'll be honest as I've found my INTJs really appreciate... there are times when INTJs seem somewhat 'evil' to me, and that bothers me. I really had to learn how to accept that the things INTJs say and do are coming from a perspective of how things relate and how they are - not from a perspective that deliberately opposes or chooses to ignore my precious idealism. If you're an INTJ and you're having problems with an ENFJ, be aware of how important our sense of idealism is. This is going to be in inverse proportion to how well developed we are as people. Less developed ENFJs are very prone to being offended by this and deciding to categorize you as a 'villain'. More developed ENFJs will be able to understand where you are coming from, and not see it as opposition to their ideals. If you're ever having trouble with an ENFJ because of this, often all you have to do is ask if you did something to offend or upset us, apologize accordingly and / or make clear that you meant no offense, and we'll put you back in the good guy box just as fast as we put you out of it. I know this is entirely irrational, but we're NFs. It's just how we are. I hope this helps.
There was certainly a learning curve for all of us, but it was very well worth it. INTJs and ENFJs share perception, but cover each others' weaknesses when reasoning... which means we are ideal at helping each other grow and spotting things in each others' cognitive blind spots.
I didn't like my INTJs very much at first when I was younger, but I've come to love them and find them indispensable. The more mature and better developed INTJs and ENFJs become, the more they will appreciate and admire one another.
i mean i get so self conscious with my boyfriend sometimes. i feel like he thinks im too shy, uptight, and boring.
well im not going to disagree. We do either love you guys or hate you.
My boyfriend is an ENFJ and im crazy about him but sometimes some people could just talk on and on which is quite annoying when all you want to do is revert back deep into thought.