[ohsolovely]

I am an INTJ. Im just curious what you ENFJs think of INTJs. For those of you who arent familiar-

INTJ-
We Live inside our heads
We are perfectionists and have high standards for others
We dont open up to people quickly but when we do we really care about people
Extremely introverted
Need to be alone/ retreat back into thought after too much socializing
Love to learn/talk about theories and nerdy stuff
Inefficiency drives us crazy
We can be very uptight/reserved
We tend to be deep and mysterious I guess
Independent
Oh and were slightly conceited and awkward =)

 

[megalomania]

From my experience they either love us or hate us. or both lol

 

[Jojo]

I think you all are smart and bring a different point of view that spark healthy solutions to problems.

 

[ohsolovely]

well im not going to disagree. We do either love you guys or hate you.

My boyfriend is an ENFJ and im crazy about him but sometimes some people could just talk on and on which is quite annoying when all you want to do is revert back deep into thought.

 

[saccharomyces]

my father is an intj, and my opinion on enfj-intj relationship is that it's not some kind of natural immediate click, but with a little of work, acceptance and adjustment on somebody's side, it can work out really, really pleasantly. i mean, i am sometimes annoyed by the fact that it is difficult to get an emotional response from my intj father and thus i often feel like he's being sullen and is not happy about what i say/do, 'cause he might not really express any positive emotions very often.
but now that i have already understood that the fact he does not show emotion does not mean he's angry or dissatisfied, it's easier to enjoy the things i've always enjoyed with him - discussing awesomely intriguing scientific facts and theories ( he's a physicist and has explained loads of awesome theories to me and my brother since we were little kids, and in a way that we could actually understand something), playing games ( i actually am still sometimes surprised at how excited he gets once into a game and feels the competition) or criticising the things in media or elsewhere, as in, pointing out the mistakes they make, both factual and grammatical, etc., etc, lots of brainy talk stuff.

i guess an intj wouldn't be the first person i make friends with in a room with all personality types, but i would soon get there and be intrigued, thus making it work, eventually, if the intj is not too arroganyt and intelligent and interesting enough

 

[kiwigrl]

INTJ-
We Live inside our heads
We are perfectionists and have high standards for others
We dont open up to people quickly but when we do we really care about people
Extremely introverted
Need to be alone/ retreat back into thought after too much socializing
Love to learn/talk about theories and nerdy stuff
Inefficiency drives us crazy
We can be very uptight/reserved
We tend to be deep and mysterious I guess
Independent
Oh and were slightly conceited and awkward

So far as I am aware, I don't know any IRL (I could just be oblivious though), so I am referring to the ones on here that I have conversed with.

For some reason, despite them not showing their feelings as an ENFJ does so easily, I find them fascinating. They are Introverts too, which I kind of tend to surround myself with at times, they're not demanding of me.

I have noted in bold type some of the things that could also describe me. I am about 45% of the time daydreaming or focused on something I am reading/ seeing. So I guess part of the time I also live inside my head, at which time I hate to be disturbed. Oh yeah, and a misconception about ENFJs is that they want to be constantly around people. For me it isn't true. I need a reasonable amount of alone time. So that part of an INTJ I can also relate to (just not to the same extreme).

Perhaps IRL I might find them hard work or not expressive enough, but who knows, maybe I will identify one IRL some day and be able to analyse them better in person.

 

[kiwigrl]

discussing awesomely intriguing scientific facts and theories ( he's a physicist and has explained loads of awesome theories to me and my brother since we were little kids, and in a way that we could actually understand something), playing games ( i actually am still sometimes surprised at how excited he gets once into a game and feels the competition) or criticising the things in media or elsewhere, as in, pointing out the mistakes they make, both factual and grammatical, etc., etc, lots of brainy talk stuff.

Sounds great. I always loved when my dad taught me new things.

 

[Roman]

I've been meaning to post a thread such as this! Thanks, ohsolovely!

I have a best friend that's an ENFJ. I both hate and love him. Haha! Mostly the latter though. He has his moments when he gets very clingy and I get frustrated. But I've had Extroverted friends all my life (never an Introvert that I can think of) and I have a knack for dealing with the frustration that comes with it. I except it because everyone has their faults, right? I think of him like a brother, but I sometimes wonder how he truly feels about me... :mellow: And also I wonder how other ENFJ's feel about INTJ's. And if these two types get along well together normally.

 

[fossil2]

I love INTJs - my sister is one, and the boy ones tend to find me a lot! I love how good you are with systems and theories, and you're in general pretty hilarious, too. I envy how easily learning and organization comes to INTJs. I find that INTJs and ENFJs complement each other pretty well: we're usually into the same stuff, but for different reasons. The one thing that does make me squirm is that I am super sensitive to doing the socially, err, correct (for lack of better word) thing in any given situation, where as my INTJ sister is more likely to go the (sometimes painfully) blunt route.

 

[smiley]

It really depends on the person.

In general I really enjoy INTJs. In particular, I find that some of their observations are dead-on and they have a dry delivery that is hilarious.

As long as they aren't too judgmental about my soft feeling side, I enjoy hangin out with them... I have met a few who were a little bit too serious for my liking... but I know some really silly ones too. :laughing:

 

[ohsolovely]

i mean i get so self conscious with my boyfriend sometimes. i feel like he thinks im too shy, uptight, and boring.

 

[Puddinboots]

I am an INTJ. Im just curious what you ENFJs think of INTJs. For those of you who arent familiar-

INTJ-
We Live inside our heads
We are perfectionists and have high standards for others
We dont open up to people quickly but when we do we really care about people
Extremely introverted
Need to be alone/ retreat back into thought after too much socializing
Love to learn/talk about theories and nerdy stuff
Inefficiency drives us crazy
We can be very uptight/reserved
We tend to be deep and mysterious I guess
Independent
Oh and were slightly conceited and awkward =)

One of my closest friends is an INTJ; she does have high standards but I can to a certain degree, too. She can be very quiet at times but when we first met I noticed a few things about her that I thought were unique and "groovy" in a very open-minded way. I've always enjoyed our conversations because they're so refreshingly intelligent and interesting which is something that's hard for me to find. She may have some moments where she appears a little uptight but once again, I have my moments when I get that way, too. I think we bring out the best in each other and perhaps where one may not be strong (NT vs NF) we can bring each other to a balance. In addition to being a fabulous friend, she makes a hell of a great fudge, too.

 

[Nobleheart]

I have two very close friends who are INTJs.

I find their insights amazing, and we seem to have a lot of mutual fascination with one another's perspectives.

I strongly admire INTJ insight, though I had to learn how to get over my reservations at first, because INTJ insights originally struck me as amoral and offended my idealism. However, now that I've gotten to know some INTJs, I really love them. You guys are so shrewd and brilliant in ways that I'm not, and your dry wit keeps me in stitches. I don't think there is really a better pairing to help each other develop. We teach you guys Fe (which is the most important function for you guys to develop to help you be balanced healthy human beings - just trust me on this) as well as how to strengthen your Se. You guys teach us Te (which we sorely lack and desperately need in order to have a truly balanced mind) and how to strengthen our Ni.

It is rare that me and my INTJs clash, though when we do, we're usually very good at walking away until we cool off. My need to keep a conversation going, or my capacity to be overly emotional has caused them to want to pull away (as I've been told). One of the things they claim is the most difficult for them is my 'demanding curiosity' - where I keep asking them questions with a lot of expectation that they will answer them.

From my perspective... I'll be honest as I've found my INTJs really appreciate... there are times when INTJs seem somewhat 'evil' to me, and that bothers me. I really had to learn how to accept that the things INTJs say and do are coming from a perspective of how things relate and how they are - not from a perspective that deliberately opposes or chooses to ignore my precious idealism. If you're an INTJ and you're having problems with an ENFJ, be aware of how important our sense of idealism is. This is going to be in inverse proportion to how well developed we are as people. Less developed ENFJs are very prone to being offended by this and deciding to categorize you as a 'villain'. More developed ENFJs will be able to understand where you are coming from, and not see it as opposition to their ideals. If you're ever having trouble with an ENFJ because of this, often all you have to do is ask if you did something to offend or upset us, apologize accordingly and / or make clear that you meant no offense, and we'll put you back in the good guy box just as fast as we put you out of it. I know this is entirely irrational, but we're NFs. It's just how we are. I hope this helps.

There was certainly a learning curve for all of us, but it was very well worth it. INTJs and ENFJs share perception, but cover each others' weaknesses when reasoning... which means we are ideal at helping each other grow and spotting things in each others' cognitive blind spots.

I didn't like my INTJs very much at first when I was younger, but I've come to love them and find them indispensable. The more mature and better developed INTJs and ENFJs become, the more they will appreciate and admire one another.

 

[kiwigrl]

I have two very close friends who are INTJs.

I find their insights amazing, and we seem to have a lot of mutual fascination with one another's perspectives.

I strongly admire INTJ insight, though I had to learn how to get over my reservations at first, because INTJ insights originally struck me as amoral and offended my idealism. However, now that I've gotten to know some INTJs, I really love them. You guys are so shrewd and brilliant in ways that I'm not, and your dry wit keeps me in stitches. I don't think there is really a better pairing to help each other develop. We teach you guys Fe (which is the most important function for you guys to develop to help you be balanced healthy human beings - just trust me on this) as well as how to strengthen your Se. You guys teach us Te (which we sorely lack and desperately need in order to have a truly balanced mind) and how to strengthen our Ni.

It is rare that me and my INTJs clash, though when we do, we're usually very good at walking away until we cool off. My need to keep a conversation going, or my capacity to be overly emotional has caused them to want to pull away (as I've been told). One of the things they claim is the most difficult for them is my 'demanding curiosity' - where I keep asking them questions with a lot of expectation that they will answer them.

From my perspective... I'll be honest as I've found my INTJs really appreciate... there are times when INTJs seem somewhat 'evil' to me, and that bothers me. I really had to learn how to accept that the things INTJs say and do are coming from a perspective of how things relate and how they are - not from a perspective that deliberately opposes or chooses to ignore my precious idealism. If you're an INTJ and you're having problems with an ENFJ, be aware of how important our sense of idealism is. This is going to be in inverse proportion to how well developed we are as people. Less developed ENFJs are very prone to being offended by this and deciding to categorize you as a 'villain'. More developed ENFJs will be able to understand where you are coming from, and not see it as opposition to their ideals. If you're ever having trouble with an ENFJ because of this, often all you have to do is ask if you did something to offend or upset us, apologize accordingly and / or make clear that you meant no offense, and we'll put you back in the good guy box just as fast as we put you out of it. I know this is entirely irrational, but we're NFs. It's just how we are. I hope this helps.

There was certainly a learning curve for all of us, but it was very well worth it. INTJs and ENFJs share perception, but cover each others' weaknesses when reasoning... which means we are ideal at helping each other grow and spotting things in each others' cognitive blind spots.

I didn't like my INTJs very much at first when I was younger, but I've come to love them and find them indispensable. The more mature and better developed INTJs and ENFJs become, the more they will appreciate and admire one another.

Quite a bit of insight there, thanks. I would like to see what they are like IRL now. I don't know that I would successfully identify them IRL though. I mean ENFJ's probably stand out like a sore thumb (in an E kind of way) but INTJs? How do they stand out?

I can understand what you mean in the part about idealism, and also the part about being in stitches. Actually sometimes it's not something they appear to have joked about but just the quirky ideas they get that make me laugh. I do find quirky things about people interesting.

 

[minavanhelsing]

i mean i get so self conscious with my boyfriend sometimes. i feel like he thinks im too shy, uptight, and boring.

Here, here! It's so hard to keep up with you ENFJ's and how creative and competent you are with your expression. Eek!

...Or at least, I'm just referring to my ENFJ and hoping he doesn't expect me to act like an ENFJ as well because I'd fail utterly. xD

 

[kiwigrl]

well im not going to disagree. We do either love you guys or hate you.

My boyfriend is an ENFJ and im crazy about him but sometimes some people could just talk on and on which is quite annoying when all you want to do is revert back deep into thought.

Haha, I can visually see when my ISFJ husband's mind has left the conversation.
If I was just going on about nothing important then I realise at this point it was a bit much and just think in my mind instead because I can see he has had his limit for the day lol.

 

[emw1981]

i'm going to throw my hat in the ring here. i test as an INTJ constantly, but the more open minded and true to myself i am becoming, the more i have realized that in actuality, i am an ENFJ hiding behind an INTJ mask. i have no idea how to deal with my Fe (or Fi for that matter) and so therefore have asked my Te to come take over. this being said, for myself, personally-i find a lot of solace, greater learning, growth, and balance between INTJs and ENFJs. i want to be a little of both. i feel like i'd be the most well-rounded person i could ever be with this balance. so, from my ENFJ side, odds are your boyfriend admires you for your talent, wit, brilliance, and realism. and from my INTJ side, being with a guy like that could really help you balance your weaker aspects.

 

[Sonata]

My brother is an INTJ, I am pretty positive. Our relationship is very rocky, and I'm pretty sure he hates my guts half the time haha. But I really do love the INTJs. I feel like they have a lot to offer that I don't have, and truly, they can be such smart and marvelous people.

 

[Filo]

My SO is an ENFJ. She says we are a great couple. I am very good with abstract things, she is great with people. We share our love for the unusual, the original, and are both very honest. She takes me to places I otherwise wouldn't go to, breaks my routine. I make sure she is well-kept, and that there is always a foundation for her to reach out from. She loves my calm reliability, I love her creativity and her warmth.

 

[roxasquall]

With all the INTJs I've met, I found them to all be flakey...:frustrating: