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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I love my big brother who is an INTJ and most of my major crushes have been on INTJs, but so far haven't amounted to anything. Just curios what your thoughts were.
 

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Wish I knew some in person to truly know what I thought. But online, they are the ones that come across as most easily understood and the closest kin to what I am of all the other types. They can at times be quite definite about their rights and wrongs, but that's something I appreciate as I'm not a great lover of ambiguity.
 

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My current girlfriend is an INFJ, and I think INFJs are great in general. Though not extroverted, you guys handle most social situations with good control and grace, which I admire. I also find it cute that it's just impossible for INFJs hide their feelings; it just becomes visible in their faces like there is a direct link (which I tease about occasionally, haha).

Generally, very well-read people; conceptually agile, definitive outlook on life, structure, closure, planning ahead, and a good sense of responsibility (these are all pretty admirable qualities). Though fluid outside, they are fairly strong and will not let other people/things walk on all over them. Sometimes, can be lacking in rationality or validity in certain topics, but they can easily compensate. Can be stubborn, but that's much less compared to how stubborn I can get. Creative, flexible and often accommodating, they are great listeners as well as being good counsellors.

But, my bias is such because I come from a family where Fe is pervasive, and I have a pretty good grasp on Fe-way of dealing things. Even so, I still get out of sync with Fe when I feel Fe is too imposing. I wouldn't recommend XNFJs if you have limited experience with Fe or have unhealthy, untrimmed, or self-centered type of Fi (the two just don't mix well, and it can get very ugly; so prior to getting deeper into the relationship, you'd better address your own issues pertaining to your heart, feelings, integrity, identity, and dignity). You also need to respect and love them for who they are and keep up with the minimal standards they impose, otherwise they will be equally disappointed, and the bond will slowly erode away.
 

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I just fought with my INFJ friend, damn. So easy for me to piss them off, I think..
Yep. I think that this comes from our similar senses of idealism paired with the clash of T vs F. I regularly get into fights with my INTJ friend because we both hold our standards so tightly and are unrelenting when we try to impose our views on each other. We eventually calm down and just agree to disagree, but it can get exhausting sometimes.
 

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Yep. I think that this comes from our similar senses of idealism paired with the clash of T vs F. I regularly get into fights with my INTJ friend because we both hold our standards so tightly and are unrelenting when we try to impose our views on each other. We eventually calm down and just agree to disagree, but it can get exhausting sometimes.
Yes. My INFJ friend and I are both very stubborn that we just both stfu when we fight. Then she ends up being the one to apologise, every single time. I wouldn't want me to fight with another INTJ lol.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I also find it cute that it's just impossible for INFJs hide their feelings; it just becomes visible in their faces like there is a direct link (which I tease about occasionally, haha).
I find it funny that you say that, because although I am very good at reading other INFJs emotions, I find that almost no one knows how I'm feeling unless they ask me directly. There are a few people in my life including my brother(INTJ) who I mentioned above that can read me very well. I think that's part of the reason I am so attracted to INTJs in general, because they are one of the few types that actually seem to be able to read me and even though it can be scary at times, I secretly love it.
 

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My older sister is an INFJ and I've always been pretty close with her. And on top of that, my mom is an ENFJ and I have a close friend is definitely either INFJ or ENFJ, so... on the romantic end of things, contemplating it is sort of weird. My familiarity with them has always been familial/platonic.

That said, INFJs are cool in my book. Great for stimulating, neverending intellectual conversations. Good about being low-key and giving me space. Good about understanding things without needing a dossier of explanation.

And the contrast can be nice. Ni-Fe next to Ni-Te. Good kind of buddies for lazing around together and accomplishing/doing virtually nothing while enjoying every minute of it.
 

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My mom is an INFJ, and I love her to bits. We fight a lot, and those fights usually end up with me apologizing (insincerely) merely to make her feel better. Fights often get ugly, as she consistently has bottled up emotions. After arguing, she tries to justify her nasty words by saying she was worked up, however it is evident that these are her underlying thoughts. She is very, very strong in her beliefs (she's disapproving of a lot of things I do or think). I grew up with a lot of physical affection from her, and as I grew out of it she still wanted to express her love to me through hugs and cuddles. INFJs are some of the best people to look for support in - I think this is because they understand where we are coming from, but also see the importance of conforming to others' wishes and in turn are able to give us realistic advice. What I have seen from some INFJs is that once they feel powerless, they cower. There have been many times that I have had to stand up for my mother because she absorbs criticisms that may not even be true about her.

One of the best friends I have at the moment is an INFJ, as is one of my past friends. We understand each other really well, however, when it comes to intellectual debates/discussions I get frustrated because typically they (the ones I know) do not think things through sufficiently, rarely adding anything to the conversation. The INFJ that I had a falling out with often complained that I did not share enough about my life, although it was evident that I shared much more than I would to other friends. I often feel with INFJs that they are not comfortable unless you share every aspect of your life with them. The INFJ that I am currently close friends with often makes offhand comments about me being heartless, violent, etc. Overall, I think they are adorable and I am hopeful that my current friendship does not end similarly to the previous one.
 

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-They are in love with the ridiculous concept of being a snowflake, the "special" they are, bigger ego they have.
-They often have idealist positions which they cannot defend with logic. For example, I had discusses with a lot of vegans INFJ who think that being one makes you a better and smatter person. And when I came with proofs that there is no relation, they just yelled more loud and started to using ad hominem fallacies.
 

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I sorta have a love-hate relationship with INFJs due to my personal experiences with one certain person.
I know that he isn't a very good representation of all INFJs out there, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are many like him.

I love him for his gentle nature and his deep understanding of emotions. He's very expressive and insightful and talking to him while he's in a good mood is absolute bliss. While he's in that state I can confidently say that he is the warmest person I've ever met. It's like he radiates happiness and seeing him happy sorta makes me happy as well.

What I dislike about him is that he becomes utterly irrational and impossible to deal with once he gets upset. Trust me, upsetting him is very easy. I dislike his tendency to assume that he knows my intentions and what I'm thinking. I dislike his tendency to tell me how and what I feel (or what I should feel) about things in general. He makes an assumption based on emotion instead of evidence and he sticks to it. He's very stubborn and he doesn't want to admit to being wrong no matter how obvious it is.

In his own words "Everything hurt me. Everything.".
He blames himself for everything. Even if there was nothing he could do about the situation. He's very prone to self-hatred and self-destructive behavior.

I can't turn my back on him since he's one of the three people in my life I actually care about. Despite all of his flaws his positive side far outshines the negative one. He's truly a remarkable individual and I haven't met anyone like him in my entire life. Gentle, intelligent, eloquent and too idealistic for his own good. I admire how powerful and authentic his emotions are. I just wish he could bring them under control so he can stop hurting himself.
 

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i like the one friend i have who's said the test says she's infj, but she's 50+ years old and has learned loooong ago not to butt into other folks' lives. online around here, i've met others who i did like and they tended to be around the same age.

tbh, younger infjs seem to annoy me more than anything else. it seems like there may be a growth window they have to go through before they realise not everyone in the world stands [or wants] to benefit from their so-famous fe. it's not really different from the way young intjs have to learn they're not all that either, on the 'logical' front, just with infjs it seems to be about overestimating their interpersonal skillz.
 

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"Suckers care about humanity too much"
I remember saying this in the past, not gonna comment on it any further :laughing:
 
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INFJs are wonderful people :). I admire those who have a strong moral compass since they can be the anchor that keeps you from doing things that aren't good. They also tend to be quite nice to have as friends since they can help one work through emotional situations.

That being said, they tend to be quite overemotional, in my opinion. That isn't totally bad, but I'm usually unskilled in dealing with an INFJ friend who will sometimes just burst out crying for no reason (or reason that I'm not being told ahead of time).
 
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