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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have two things:

1) My tendency to judge the people by their depth and 'lights'

I tend to judge the people mostly based on the 'lights' inside them, meaning their hidden depth and who they truly are beneath the many complex layers of personalities. It's like cutting through fronts and facades and just seeing your light as it is, nothing else. It is a good thing, because it makes me have the deepest, most solid connections with a select few in my life, and also make many others comfortable in my presence even when I am not that close to them.

It is also a bad thing, that I tend to rely too much on it to the point that at times I tend to disregard their bad habits, their obvious portrayals to the outside world, and even to the point that I forget about how some people have fundamentally different beliefs to mine. You can say that I become careless about the obvious and surface bits in the process. It is kind of hard for me to readjust my personal judgment system, in a way.

2) Feeling like I have not given enough

It both drives me and destructs me, that complexity I have, the paradox that I am; feeling like I have never quite given enough love and purity as I often wish I could.

What's yours?
 

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Depending on the situation

Perfectionism
(While it shows me how things can be done, it also hurts when I'm unable to achieve it)

Thoughtfulness/Caring (As in thinking about how a situation/action will affect others, sometimes I'm unable to act because i value others higher)

Introversion (It certainly has it's perks, but it also has it's price)

There are others, but I can't seem to shake them forth out of this mess that my head is:dry:
 
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Straight hair! :crazy:

I usually can see what someone's problems stem from but I often can't do a thing about it without them realizing it themselves.

I care too much about people, to the point where sometimes it becomes painful and I have to distance myself from them.

Like you I also tend to see the depth in people, their inner good, and become totally shocked (and possibly hurt) when their outer behaviors don't match who they are on the inside.

There are some others, I'll post them if I think of them...

Just curious, what is the philosophy you have behind these "lights" you talk about? I understand what you mean, but is there a special reason you call them lights? It's a fitting name to call them, but it makes me curious.
 

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1. I love people completely, quickly, easily, in all their flaws and am very willing to make sacrifices for them and take care of them.
People take advantage of this a lot.
2. I have a lot of "former abused child" anger and aggression in me.
It makes me a great fighter, though, see, and it gives me drive, ambition.
3. I have high standards for myself and others.
I have a tendency to do things very well and to construct a very nice life, but sometimes I wear myself down way too much, I put too much pressure on myself or punish myself too harshly, or I'm not fair to others that just don't have the same standards for themselves.
4. I am compulsively moral, and treat people well, regardless of how they treat me.
Again, people take advantage of me because of this.
5. I am conservative with money in regards to my own needs and wants, but I give freely in regards to people I love/care about, or causes.
Remember the Haiti earthquake? I wiped myself out that week donating to relief efforts. And god, in a relationship... money is just a thing, a tool which I can use to help the other person out or to show my love and devotion. I spend way too much on that sort of thing. I donated a 20 to the anthropology stand on the international day of peace!
6. I am really good at identifying and helping people in need.
This results in me being around people who are mentally/emotionally unwell quite often.
7. I don't mind stepping up when others won't.
People volunteer me for leadership positions I don't want, and I get in over my head a lot. Plus I really hate having too much attention on me, too much pressure and stuff. And people can get jealous and all kinds of icky things. :crazy:

I'm sure there's plenty more things, but I'll end the list there.
 
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Hmm, from the top of my head:

Bluntness: For the sake of people I care about, I can come off strong and heartless even when trying to help them.

Empathy: Sometimes I feel empathy from the weirdest things, and it causes me to make sacrifices that I can't help but make, and hurts me in the end.

Perfection: If the slighest thing goes wrong and it turns out to be against my ideals, I will think about it like crazy, trying to do whatever I can to make it never happens again. AND THEN IT HAPPENS AGAIN.

Darkness: I don't think I need to expand on this. :\

I'm pretty sure I can list tons more, but what I do know is that with my flaws and blessings, I can turn them into something better--testimonies that can be used to empower myself or others. For that reason, I embrace them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Straight hair! :crazy:

I usually can see what someone's problems stem from but I often can't do a thing about it without them realizing it themselves.

I care too much about people, to the point where sometimes it becomes painful and I have to distance myself from them.

Like you I also tend to see the depth in people, their inner good, and become totally shocked (and possibly hurt) when their outer behaviors don't match who they are on the inside.

There are some others, I'll post them if I think of them...

Just curious, what is the philosophy you have behind these "lights" you talk about? I understand what you mean, but is there a special reason you call them lights? It's a fitting name to call them, but it makes me curious.
''Lights'' are something linked to sincerity, goodwill and quiet humility all in one. They can be at such a deep level that sometimes an individual might not realize he/she has it.

One example, my best friends and loved ones, at their worst, I have still been able to feel their sincerity.

Unfortunately there have been too many times when I overlooked their flaws in the process
 

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I can see when certain people suffer. Not sure how much of a blessing I've managed to make of that yet though.
 
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