Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 30 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
492 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
Considering we are exact opposites, what do you think? Good and bad would be preferable.

Honestly most feelers bother me. It doesn't make sense to make a decision upon your emotions and your reactions. Thinking things through really saves trouble, and keeps you out of danger.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,721 Posts
It's hard for me to say exactly, since I don't think I know any sure ENTP's in my life. I do however have an online friend who has tested as ENTP, and he seems to fit the traits that I've read quite well.


From what I've read and heard, the problem between the two is the Si vs. Ne as dominant functions. I really like what this page says about Si and Ne, it really cleared it up for me a lot and showed why there's so much friction between people who use these as their dominant functions.

ENFP Wiki

These two bits are particularly insightful. The first talks about how Si suppresses Ne, and the second how Ne suppresses Si:

Suppression: Ne and Si have a suppressive relationship. Si wants plant everything down to what is known, and Ne wants to bounce to new possibilities. Si shuts down Ne when demanding that there are no other possibilities besides what is already known.
Suppression: Si and Ne have a suppressive relationship. The chaos on unpredictability of Ne renders the reliance of the past data obsolete in that it cannot be reliably trusted if the environment is constantly changing.
I think that right there offers a good explanation of why ISFJ's and ENTP's can have trouble getting along. Basically, what they're looking for in life is exactly the opposite.


When I had long talks with my ENTP friend, I was always amazed and awed by what he was able to do mentally. He basically was on a constant search to improve himself with his knowledge. He was always able to adapt himself in any way necessary for this improvement. If he ever heard a new argument that was better than anything he had ever believed before, he would change his mind if it fit in perfectly logically. He never had any problem making these adaptations...in fact, he relished it. He loved to be proven wrong if it meant it improved his knowledge and thinking.

But I realized through talking to him that I could never do what he did and be happy. My whole life, my existence, even, is based on my past experiences and what I've known. I'm constantly collecting memories and using them to give me peace about the future. I crave consistency. It's what gives me comfort, peace, and happiness. Without it, my life is nothing but stress and misery. And I long ago realized that my ultimate goal in life is to be happy, because without it, when I look back on life, I see nothing.

It's like I'm in a constant state of preparing for the future. I always want to be ready for whatever comes. If I'm not, I get really stressed out, depressed, and just start losing the point of living anymore.



The funny thing was that I could never rationally explain to him why I was that way, or the value of it. But, thankfully, he still accepted me for who I am, and I did the same for him. We just understood that we could never be like each other and still be true to ourselves.

And the great thing too is we recognized each other's strengths. As I mentioned, I was in awe of his rational abilities, his huge wealth of knowledge, and his ability to always better himself and improve. But he also valued my loyalty, my steadfast nature, and my ability to complete whatever I started and not give up. He also appreciated by genuine attitude and my ability to relate to other people.


And that's where the Feeling vs. Thinking nature comes into play, because ISTJ's also have dominant Si and inferior Ne. But both my friend and I saw the value of the opposite function in that case too.

For me, I learned from him the value in being objective when talking about large decisions that affect everyone, such as political decisions. He got me to realize the importance of putting my own personal feelings aside so that I could understand how decisions affected everyone and to see how to make the most fair and reasonable choice.

But, he also learned from me the value of feeling in personal relationships. He told me about a lot of his own personal emotional issues in his life, and I helped him to analyze his feelings and understand them better. He also learned from me the value of letting go emotionally, to just be silly and have fun for the sake of it, to feel good and just have a laugh. I gave him a comfort to where he could let down his walls and not be serious all of the time. He later told me that this helped him in one of his relationships.




So basically...it's very hard for ISFJ's and ENTP's to relate to one another, and I would imagine that it would be hard for them to be in a relationship or even a close friendship where they spent a lot of time together....because I think they would end up grating on one another over time. However, that doesn't mean that they can't learn from each other and value each other's strengths. If the two types approach each other right, they can learn to appreciate one another and see what they have to offer in life.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
7,289 Posts
Actually, when you're an exact opposite using the 4 letters, then you're actually using all the same functions as the other type, just in reverse order. This can pretty easily result in compatible personalities for relationships, since both sides are capable of using their second and third order functions to communicate on the same wavelength.

Just, each side will be pulling things in opposite directions. ISFJ's will always try to pin down possibilities into concrete data, and ENTPs will be taking concrete data and generating possibilities.

I think things would be more difficult between an ENTP and an ISFP, if you go by their cognitive functions, but who knows.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
44 Posts
i don't know taht I ahve met one or been aware that I know one but aparently we would mesh well together since we are exact opposites, but we probably need time to get to know each other. I think while you guys are out being wild, we like to be the ones you guys come back to to crash and nurture. haha. what do you think about us?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,966 Posts
Considering we are exact opposites, what do you think? Good and bad would be preferable.

Honestly most feelers bother me. It doesn't make sense to make a decision upon your emotions and your reactions. Thinking things through really saves trouble, and keeps you out of danger.
I adored the one ENTP teacher I had (not romantic adoration), I was told by a class mate we'd make a great married couple, somewhat surprising, but it describes the teacher student dynamic quite well. He could help inspire my passion for english, pushed everyone hard, knew how to handle a class and gave me a foundation of knowledge to snowball from better than most teachers - just the right push here and there. I was in love with the subject and enjoyed discussing bits with him, and had an interesting, if unusual writing style.

I think our combined passion for literature was the thing that bridged any gaps - particularly my introverted and rather socially underconfident nature.

The one other guy I would call a typical ENTP I found a little more intimidating - he was my age and we didn't really know each other. He was more like a chipper, hyper version of House; if you were doing something too slowly he'd say 'C'mon. Hurry up! Get on with it.' sort of thing and I'd get more overwhellmed. (I was trying to explain the enneagram to him)

If there's common ground and I'm not too scared or awkward around them, and they're not too...scary I think I'd enjoy conversing with them, but maybe I'd be rather shy with male ENTPs, particularly offline.

As for decision making - I over think things, but my feelings come into that; I can't seperate emotion from thought; if I'm too uncomfortable doing something I can't carry on. If I'm upset, there'll be a reason for which; someone's betrayed my trust, or been angry with me and so forth, so naturally I'll not want to spend so much time around them, tell them about myself, or will want to stay away to not feel overwhelled and break down. Emotions and reactions are like the physical for me; I stub my toe Ill say 'oww' or something like it and try not to stub my toe again.

If I'm making a deicision about the future, if I don't like a place; it's too hot - it makes me grumpy; there are peoeple who are aggressive towards me in the street - I'll fear for future interaction with them, and so forth, I won't want to live there...I don't see in this case why it's illogical to consider emotions.

I guess that's sort've what you're asking (not asking, but...I guess that's my response?)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
93 Posts
The one ENTP I know is someone I don't talk to much, but alas he's the only one I can think of.

We can talk with each other easily. I find what he says really interesting. The "opposites" thing works well together, I think, because neither of us know what to expect from the other.

However when I'm frustrated with him, I'm really frustrated. Like nobody else can piss me off more than he can, haha. But the good thing is that it doesn't last very long, because his angry bouts are usually rather short, and we are back to normal again soon after.

xNTPs are incredibly interesting to me. I have a sneaking suspicion that the guy I've been interested in for a year now is an INTP, and I'm always so intrigued by what he says or thinks. xNTPs and xSFJs have a lot in common despite how it may seem, we just go about expressing ourselves differently.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
268 Posts
I don't believe I have had the honour of knowing an ENTP, but I did have a long-term relationship with an INTP. It was awful (......let's not get into then WHY it was long-term.....). The best way I can explain why is it was as if we each spoke a language foreign to the other. I would speak to him in Spanish, he would not understand, and reply in French. Horrible. Now, this isn't to say it was 100% due to our personality types clashing, I am sure there were many other factors at play. This is just me throwing in my two cents.......
 
  • Like
Reactions: Olmed3011

·
Registered
Joined
·
109 Posts
Repost from another thread:

A very close friend of mine is an ENTP :D He is one of the most joyful people I know. I love his ability to become intensely passionate about something, practicing it over and over until he has it perfect. His enthusiasm is infectious, he seems to live in a world of limitless possibilities. He has a wonderful grasp on people and social situations. Able to instantly put most people at total ease. He has an amazing sense of style and aesthetic and a refreshing worldview. Following through on every one of his plans isn't something he does, but that's just his style and it lets him keep doing what he's doing. He likes to live in the present moment. I find we counterbalance each other nicely.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
1,174 Posts
My ex is ISFJ.

You're an ass!

was her favorite phrase, and she was intimidated by my IQ and horrified at my EQ.

I would constantly unknowingly hurt her feelings and she would try to passive aggressively manipulate me which didn't work and so it confirmed in her mind what an ass I was.

I taught her how to get out of her shell, and now she's a different person though she still thinks im an ass.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,721 Posts
My ex is ISFJ.

You're an ass!

was her favorite phrase, and she was intimidated by my IQ and horrified at my EQ.

I would constantly unknowingly hurt her feelings and she would try to passive aggressively manipulate me which didn't work and so it confirmed in her mind what an ass I was.

I taught her how to get out of her shell, and now she's a different person though she still thinks im an ass.

Just out of curiosity: (a) what attracted you to her and kept you in the relationship? (particularly things related to her being an ISFJ), and (b) was there anything you learned from her, or was it only you that taught her things?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
379 Posts
Well, first of all I'd like to say -

Kyoraku Shunsui! :D :D (Ahem, ignore that, everyone who is-not-versed-in-Bleach.)

That aside, the guy I liked for...a long time, a bit under 2 years, was a typical ENTP. He's the only ENTP I know, so I probably have an innacurate view of them as a whole, but I'll do my best.

Personally, I think ENTPs are brilliant people, extremely lively & enthusiastic about subjects that interest them. This particular ENTP could talk for hours on end about soccer, was brilliant at informal debating, and always came out on top in every argument.

Quite intimidating, actually :crazy: I think that's probably what I found hard to deal with: friendly, affable & pleasant to talk to, someone you'd generally enjoy talking to...but never, ever get on their bad side. I think that ISFJs would find the ENTPs verbal scorn harsh at best, and completely jerkish at worst.

Sometimes a bit too domineering for me, and often tactless. Very straight-forward.

However, there are many things I do admire about ENTPs. They're very bright, and I can understand how frustrated teachers get with them - brilliant minds, yet content to muck about even though they clearly show capability. How should I put this...wasted potential.

I also admire how they seem to know a bit about everything; they have something to say about any topic in the world (and probably out of the world too!)

Ohoh, I almost to mention how funny they are. (How could I?! :shocked:) The wise-ass comments of the ENTP I know never fail to amuse me. Perfect timing, perfect balance of sarcasm, perfect execution. :cool:

All in all, amazing people, I hope to get a chance to know more of them, though I doubt that an ISFJ/ENTP relationship would work.

(Gah, forgive the long-windedness :unsure:)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,170 Posts
It's hard for me to say exactly, since I don't think I know any sure ENTP's in my life. I do however have an online friend who has tested as ENTP, and he seems to fit the traits that I've read quite well.


From what I've read and heard, the problem between the two is the Si vs. Ne as dominant functions. I really like what this page says about Si and Ne, it really cleared it up for me a lot and showed why there's so much friction between people who use these as their dominant functions.

ENFP Wiki

These two bits are particularly insightful. The first talks about how Si suppresses Ne, and the second how Ne suppresses Si:





I think that right there offers a good explanation of why ISFJ's and ENTP's can have trouble getting along. Basically, what they're looking for in life is exactly the opposite.


When I had long talks with my ENTP friend, I was always amazed and awed by what he was able to do mentally. He basically was on a constant search to improve himself with his knowledge. He was always able to adapt himself in any way necessary for this improvement. If he ever heard a new argument that was better than anything he had ever believed before, he would change his mind if it fit in perfectly logically. He never had any problem making these adaptations...in fact, he relished it. He loved to be proven wrong if it meant it improved his knowledge and thinking.

But I realized through talking to him that I could never do what he did and be happy. My whole life, my existence, even, is based on my past experiences and what I've known. I'm constantly collecting memories and using them to give me peace about the future. I crave consistency. It's what gives me comfort, peace, and happiness. Without it, my life is nothing but stress and misery. And I long ago realized that my ultimate goal in life is to be happy, because without it, when I look back on life, I see nothing.

It's like I'm in a constant state of preparing for the future. I always want to be ready for whatever comes. If I'm not, I get really stressed out, depressed, and just start losing the point of living anymore.



The funny thing was that I could never rationally explain to him why I was that way, or the value of it. But, thankfully, he still accepted me for who I am, and I did the same for him. We just understood that we could never be like each other and still be true to ourselves.

And the great thing too is we recognized each other's strengths. As I mentioned, I was in awe of his rational abilities, his huge wealth of knowledge, and his ability to always better himself and improve. But he also valued my loyalty, my steadfast nature, and my ability to complete whatever I started and not give up. He also appreciated by genuine attitude and my ability to relate to other people.


And that's where the Feeling vs. Thinking nature comes into play, because ISTJ's also have dominant Si and inferior Ne. But both my friend and I saw the value of the opposite function in that case too.

For me, I learned from him the value in being objective when talking about large decisions that affect everyone, such as political decisions. He got me to realize the importance of putting my own personal feelings aside so that I could understand how decisions affected everyone and to see how to make the most fair and reasonable choice.

But, he also learned from me the value of feeling in personal relationships. He told me about a lot of his own personal emotional issues in his life, and I helped him to analyze his feelings and understand them better. He also learned from me the value of letting go emotionally, to just be silly and have fun for the sake of it, to feel good and just have a laugh. I gave him a comfort to where he could let down his walls and not be serious all of the time. He later told me that this helped him in one of his relationships.




So basically...it's very hard for ISFJ's and ENTP's to relate to one another, and I would imagine that it would be hard for them to be in a relationship or even a close friendship where they spent a lot of time together....because I think they would end up grating on one another over time. However, that doesn't mean that they can't learn from each other and value each other's strengths. If the two types approach each other right, they can learn to appreciate one another and see what they have to offer in life.
I never thought I would hear an ISFJ describe it so well. Thank you:happy:
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
298 Posts
My ex is ISFJ.

You're an ass!

was her favorite phrase, and she was intimidated by my IQ and horrified at my EQ.

I would constantly unknowingly hurt her feelings and she would try to passive aggressively manipulate me which didn't work and so it confirmed in her mind what an ass I was.

I taught her how to get out of her shell, and now she's a different person though she still thinks im an ass.
What you said. Ditto.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
171 Posts
I think that I relate to the description of both ISFJ and INTP really well...I feel like I'm Ixxx sometimes. @[email protected] I don't really know any ENTPs. I get along with some INTPs pretty well though. It all matters on the person though. It seems more of a matter of how they express themselves about how they view themselves seems to put people off sometimes. Another thing that might scare ISFJs off might be the willingness to change. (I love change and learning new information and having to reform my ideas of the world cause I'm a huge science nerd. :p) Although, not all xNTPs are willing to accept change...One that I know seems like he won't except new evidence because it's not him that found it and that's just him being stubborn. :/

Also, just because we are feelers doesn't mean we make our decisions 100% on feelings. Or at least I know I don't.
I like logic a lot and many others find me as a very logical and rash person. But I have internal feelings about topics and decisions I make. Or feelings are just very important to us. Each feeler is going to be different of course. The main reason I consider myself a feeler is because I can "feel" how others are feeling and empathize with them easily. It has nothing to do with my major life decisions. :/ But that could be just me. I'm just a weird ISFJ. :p

EDIT: Also to (some) xNTPs, don't be an elitist and a know it all. There's so much to learn about just one topic that if you think you know everything, you obviously don't know how much there is to know. You probably don't even realize you do it. Also, each personality type comes with faults. One is not relatively better than the other and each person needs to work on fixing their faults. I think that's the most common fault I've seen with xNTPs. Modesty and humbleness is the key to being a proper gentleman/lady. :p
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
I know a female ENTP, and about 85% of the time I cannot stand her. She is so mean about everything, and she always insists she is right, and never considers any other possibility. And while we are detailed, the ENTPs really don't care about details, and therefore we conflict a lot if we need to work on projects. I get annoyed with ENTPs Thinking a LOT. But the other 15% of the time, she is just really funny haha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
989 Posts
Exact Opposites

A very dear friend of my family, who has always been a mentor to me, is an ENTP. There's no question that WHAT we think as well as the WAY we think are really different. This person radiates authority and certainty and has a really sharp wit. Over the years I've become more confident in sharing my views, even though they are frequently challenged. I've learned not to take it personally. We've cultivated a warm relationship through meeting in the middle and respecting each other's beliefs and values. Scripture mentions that true friends challenge each other "as iron sharpens iron," and that's the case with our friendship.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Olmed3011

·
Registered
Joined
·
533 Posts
i don't think i know any entps but i just feel like i should remind you: everybody has emotions and just because someone is a feeler doesn't mean they are incapable of logical and rational thought. that is actually a rather ridiculous leap in logical thought itself. in fact, isfjs are known for being one of the more realistic and analytical feelers.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
289 Posts
My ex is ISFJ.

You're an ass!

was her favorite phrase, and she was intimidated by my IQ and horrified at my EQ.

I would constantly unknowingly hurt her feelings and she would try to passive aggressively manipulate me which didn't work and so it confirmed in her mind what an ass I was.

I taught her how to get out of her shell, and now she's a different person though she still thinks im an ass.
I also am very curious on what made you keep her^^
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
191 Posts
I don't know any in real life, so my views probably very skewed. Some of the more vocal ENTPs online have kind of rubbed me the wrong way haha. But I don't really know them at all, it's just the way they're presenting themselves on a forum. Most are probably good people.

But anyway, I think it's good to interact with people different from us sometimes (if we are all that much, debatebly). It broadens up horizons and challenges ideas.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
17 Posts
Considering we are exact opposites, what do you think? Good and bad would be preferable.

Honestly most feelers bother me. It doesn't make sense to make a decision upon your emotions and your reactions. Thinking things through really saves trouble, and keeps you out of danger.
smart asses
 
1 - 20 of 30 Posts
Top