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Specifically for the INFJs out there who have / have had successful relationships, what did you look for when you met them? How did you meet them? What attracted you to them? What did you look for to make sure they were trustworthy, etc.? Essentially, what was the process?

Thanks everyone!!
 

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I look for someone that knows how to be fun and optimistic while still having a layer of depth to them. Overall, I need someone who knows how to have a good time and one that never takes life too seriously (While still quietly acknowledging the seriousness of it, if that makes sense). It would help balance my life a lot more.
 

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Specifically for the INFJs out there who have / have had successful relationships, what did you look for when you met them? How did you meet them? What attracted you to them? What did you look for to make sure they were trustworthy, etc.? Essentially, what was the process?

Thanks everyone!!
I actually wasn't looking for anyone at the time. I had simply decided it was time to go on a day trip by myself for once. Where I wouldn't have to keep up with anybody the whole day.

It was Spring Break and I scheduled a kayak trip that afternoon, because I'd never been kayaking before and it sounded like something cool and new to try. He was the kayak guide, and I was the only one on the trip who opted for a single boat (there were 14 other people all in double boats). First thing I did was make fun of him for potentially bringing a hurricane to the island by invoking Murphy's Law. :D Anyway, he felt bad that I had gone out on that trip as an expression of independence and ended up getting run into by 7 other hapless boats, battling a strong wind and current at the same time, and generally being annoyed with the 14 other people. So, he invited me to bring a friend and go with him on another trip the next weekend for free. And it went on from there.

I was/am attracted to his wit, humor, smile (the one he seemed to reserve just for me), sense of common courtesy...and he didn't look half bad either. ;)

Well, we decided to be friends first rather than launch straight into a relationship, though we were both very attracted to one another. So, I made the most of that time by learning who he was and whether or not I considered him at least semi-serious material. Mostly, it was just discussing everything I could possibly want to discuss and seeing what he did.

I suppose if I were to distill it into a series of questions:

-Would he run away at my tendency to talk about ANYTHING, no matter how weird or disturbing it might be?
-Was he religious?
-Had he given careful thought as to why he believed what he believed regardless?
-Could we discuss politics without stepping all over each other's toes?
-Could we debate about something without getting all upset?
-Was he physically gentle with me?
-Did we share some common interests?
-Did he appreciate art and creativity?
-What was he like as a kid? How does he treat his family (especially his mother)?
-If I gave him permission to hug me, would he ONLY hug me or would he start taking liberties with me?
-Could I trust him to understand my sense of personal space?
-Could we make each other laugh? Could we be silly?
-Was he introverted or extroverted? If so, how much?
-Was he the kind of person who likes to go out and do things? If so, how often?

And so on and so forth.
 

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I look for a deep connection, a deep understanding. On all the dates I ever went on, only one person was close at all to fitting that bill. And I wasn't ready at that time to go anywhere with it.
 

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Specifically for the INFJs out there who have / have had successful relationships, what did you look for when you met them?
Oh, umm... nvm. lol...
 

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At the time, I had given upon on looking for someone. She found me and forces compelled us together. It's a long story, but God brought us together.

If I wanted to find another person, I'd pray to God and it would happen (not necessarily on my terms or timescale, but it would.) This is the only way I would ever bother finding another mate. I let God pick, it's a lot easier. :)

I know it's an odd recommendation, but if your heart is genuine, prayers definitely improve ones odds.

I see greatness in everyone now, usually undiscovered. So it's hard to say what I would look for in a person specifically. Rather, I appreciate people for who they are... and if they're rotten, I appreciate them for who they could become.
 
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