I did this a while back as an exercise. The idea is to clearly spell out how you want to be treated in relationship, regardless of whether you think you deserve it or if you think you're asking for too much. As a 9, I know I have a problem with not wanting to be demanding, and I will sometimes compromise things that should not be compromised. I found it helpful to create a list of the things that are really important to me, things that I should "fight" for.
In romantic relationships:
1. I want someone who will spend time with me. I want to know that you actually enjoy my company.
2. I want someone who is accepting of my quirks. NEVER make fun of me for the things that I like. You can make a few jokes about them, but if I feel like it is mean-spirited, I will be hurt. I also don't need to be told how weird I am all the time. It angers me and makes me feel as if you don't understand me.
3. I want someone who understands me.
4. Be open with me about your emotions. We need to be able to talk about these things and be on the same page.
5. I want someone who will be patient with me. If I don't know something, don't laugh at me. Explain it to me. I hate feeling bad for being naive.
In friendships:
1. I want to be supported as part of the LGBTQ community. It really means a lot to me, and I don’t like feeling like my sexuality is an annoyance.
2. Same as 2 above.
3. I want to be respected. Do not talk down to me, give me orders, or assume you can make me do whatever you want because I am not as assertive as you are. I may act silly and easy-going, but I am not a child. (This goes for romantic relationships, too, but I see it more when I'm with a group of friends.)
How about you guys? What are some things you really want in a relationship?
In romantic relationships:
1. I want someone who will spend time with me. I want to know that you actually enjoy my company.
2. I want someone who is accepting of my quirks. NEVER make fun of me for the things that I like. You can make a few jokes about them, but if I feel like it is mean-spirited, I will be hurt. I also don't need to be told how weird I am all the time. It angers me and makes me feel as if you don't understand me.
3. I want someone who understands me.
4. Be open with me about your emotions. We need to be able to talk about these things and be on the same page.
5. I want someone who will be patient with me. If I don't know something, don't laugh at me. Explain it to me. I hate feeling bad for being naive.
In friendships:
1. I want to be supported as part of the LGBTQ community. It really means a lot to me, and I don’t like feeling like my sexuality is an annoyance.
2. Same as 2 above.
3. I want to be respected. Do not talk down to me, give me orders, or assume you can make me do whatever you want because I am not as assertive as you are. I may act silly and easy-going, but I am not a child. (This goes for romantic relationships, too, but I see it more when I'm with a group of friends.)
How about you guys? What are some things you really want in a relationship?