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MOTM July 2010
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Just curious. It seems that we have many similarities more than we aware of, like we both:

  • love people and have high interest about people's life.
  • friendly and talkative.
  • fun and funny
  • love to have fun and laugh out loud. We laugh almost about EVERYTHING.
  • are drawn to happy people.
  • have attractive body language when we talk.
  • flirty.
  • love attention.
  • have very strong emotion towards someone we love. But once the relationship is over, we get over it quite easily (compare to other types). We don't drawn ourselves into sadness. We don't even like to be sad and would pretend that everything is alright in order to prevent other people trying to interfering our life to help us.
  • very optimistic.
  • inspire people (you by your inspiring words, ESTJs by our inspiring actions).
  • have short temper. When we're in a very angry state, we lost our words and start saying crappy things that we're actually don't really mean it.
  • love adventure.
  • seems open because we are friendly and talkative, but we actually guide our private life very well.
  • we both thinks that life is like a huge drama stage.
  • we both need personal space at home and is lazy at home.
  • attracted to introverts.
  • we both turn into INFP when we got depressed.
  • etc.
What do you think about that? Have you ever met any ESTJ irl? What do you think about ESTJ?
 

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Hi WickedQueen, you have just been commenting on a thread I put in the ESTJ section of the forum so I guess you know I know an ESTJ in real life and find him rather fascinating. I think I like a challenge and the ESTJ I know is like a nut I want to crack, I want to know more of what makes him tick because he doesn’t seem as superficial as a lot of guys and has a strong ethical standpoint on most things. He is someone I am sure would always be polite and respectful and think about the best way to behave with people. He is very quirky and fun and has weird little habits that I find really interesting, he isn’t afraid to be a geek at times and has a crazy thirst and memory for facts and trivia. He is always helpful if asked but generally doesn’t dive in and help otherwise, he doesn’t look at a situation and instinctively know how that person would like him to behave. He is keen to please people and wants to make sure that people are happy; he doesn’t always seem to know how to do it though and passes on any emotional problems of his friends to other people
Big differences I have noticed:-
  • He hates to be late and gets annoyed with other people who are
  • He doesn’t like being pressed to talk about his feelings whereas I can go on about mine for hooouuuurs.
  • He can offend people by his bluntness
  • He likes to do the same things at the same times all the time e.g. certain TV programmes, certain social occasions and gets a bit whiny if it doesn’t happen
  • He doesn’t see the need to return communications unless specifically requested, e.g. text messages or e-mails
So, I like you ESTJ people and feel strangely fascinated by you.
What do you think of us? :laughing:
 

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I must say that ENFP's can drive me crazy sometimes. I have three buddies who have confirmed themselves as ENFPs so I'm talking from experience. The following are some of the things that we differ and drive me nuts:

  • They want to do new things just for the sake of trying out everything. I always want to stick to what I like and know best.
  • They don't leave me alone. I don't like when people bug me (asking me for help is fine, but trying hold a conversation with me) when I'm doing work.
  • They take things way too personally; I can't have a genuine discussion with them.
  • They BS constantly and I hate people who don't say what they mean or can't follow up on their promises.
However, they still make good friends as they care about people they like and give you companionship when you really need it. I know that they often call me an insensitive bastard or a boring person in general, but we still get along.

Do you people agree with this?
 

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MOTM July 2010
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Discussion Starter #4
  • They want to do new things just for the sake of trying out everything. I always want to stick to what I like and know best.
Really? I always love to try new things. But once I started, I will always finish it. With my ENFP friends, they don't always finish what they start. :crazy:
 

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Just curious. It seems that we have many similarities more than we aware of, like we both:
  • love people and have high interest about people's life.
  • friendly and talkative.
  • fun and funny
  • love to have fun and laugh out loud. We laugh almost about EVERYTHING.
  • are drawn to happy people.
  • have attractive body language when we talk.
  • flirty.
  • love attention.
  • have very strong emotion towards someone we love.
  • very optimistic.
  • inspire people (you by your inspiring words, ESTJs by our inspiring actions).
  • have short temper. When we're in a very angry state, we lost our words and start saying crappy things that we're actually don't really mean it.
  • love adventure.
  • seems open because we are friendly and talkative, but we actually guide our private life very well.
  • we both thinks that life is like a huge drama stage.
  • we both need personal space at home and is lazy at home.
  • attracted to introverts.
  • we both turn into INFP when we got depressed.
  • etc.
Yup, yup, yup, agree with all of those
But once the relationship is over, we get over it quite easily (compare to other types). We don't drawn ourselves into sadness. We don't even like to be sad and would pretend that everything is alright in order to prevent other people trying to interfering our life to help us. .

Nope, I am terrible when I break up with someone, I want to analyse it from every angle before I can move on and I like other people to be there whilst I do it, to be a sounding board. I also maintain a strong emotional connection with someone I have been in a relationship with, I think part of my heart stays with that person.
 

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MOTM July 2010
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Discussion Starter #6

  • He doesn’t see the need to return communications unless specifically requested, e.g. text messages or e-mails
LOL, this is so me. I don't like answering phone and wont respond to text message that asked about unimportant matter, like what I'm doing now, etc.

So, I like you ESTJ people and feel strangely fascinated by you.
What do you think of us? :laughing:
I like how my ENFP friends are not easily offended by my blunt words. I like when me and my ENFP friends flirting to each other just for joking. I like how me and my ENFP friends can talk about frivolous things for hours, and then switch to gossipping others for hours, and then switch to philosophy talks for hours, and then back to frivolous conversations. LOL

You ENFPs are always fun to be friends with. :proud:
 

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MOTM July 2010
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Discussion Starter #8
LOL T-Guy! :crazy:

You are a boring ESTJ. Shame on you. :tongue:
 
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My mother's husband is an ESTJ, or as I call him, the bullshit artist.

I have no idea how typical he is of ESTJs and while many of the traits above do apply to him, but he has to be one of the biggest "half-start, never finish anything" people that I know. He'll spin his wheels for days and days and make a veritable mountain out of the tiniest mole hill.

For me, he's VERY draining and asks hundreds of questions about things that I couldn't care less about. He's quite a big schmoozer, and I don't cotton well to schmooze or first hand compliments as they seem fake to me. Plus, I've seen him be so very friendly to someone to their face and then turn around and say "I hate that sumbitch, he's so fake." So, when he compliments me... yeah... you see where this is going.

Anyhoo, I'm sure you're not all like him, just as I am not like every other ENTJ.
 

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Speaking in general terms, I'm sure they're cool people. They're just like everyone else after-all.

Speaking from personal experience:
Out of the four or so ESTJs I have ever known deeply, I'd say 2/4 of them I've been able to get along with so far. Hopefully, I can make that fraction 3/4 soon. So right now there is a 50% chance that ESTJs are cool to me.
 

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I have an ESTJ sister in law. It took a long time for us to really get to know each other because we are so different...but we get along well mostly now and see a lot of each other. :happy: She is very organized and helpful. She will go out of her way to do nice things and I appreciate that a lot. I find her to be a very caring person and that is wonderful... She is very hospitable and likes to have us over for dinner a lot.

However, she can be very competitive and sometimes I find that annoying. She seems to have a need to be "right" all the time when it is not even something I find worth arguing about. She also comes across as a little too into my business at times...LOL She asks a lot of personal questions or will notice things like what time I was on facebook and what she thinks I should have been doing at that time and that bugs me. I like to do things when I want to do them and don't think it is any of her concern...:tongue:
 

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I'm pretty sure that my aunt is an ESTJ. What I like about her most is her willingness to go out and experience the world. My mom, being an introvert, isn't really one for malls or trips to go shopping just for the hell of it. With my aunt, I can have that fun, extroverted time that I need. I simultaneously like and am afraid of her bluntness. When my cousins are in trouble, they had better watch out. When something needs attention, though, she is sure to address it and make sure something is done about it. She can be a little close-minded at times, but then again, everyone has their faults! :tongue:
 

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i like estj's too. in socionics we are activity partners i can see why that is. i think we could make an unstoppable team in sorting out this mess of a world. the estj could bully everyone into doing anything.
 

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My dad's an ESTJ, and he's been quite a parent. :happy: I should probably start out by saying that I was scared to death of him right up until about high school. He was incredibly confrontational, and seemed to find an issue with anything I strongly affirmed about myself until I agree to (pretend to) do things his way. But there were definitely times when it paid to listen to my old man. When I was a kid, he kind of instilled in me a value for (read: pressured me into embracing) extroversion, and I can honestly say it's never done me wrong. I can't think of any core value of mine that trumps the importance of being outwardly focused. Likewise, almost two decades of constantly having my posterior handed to me at billiards developed into my handy ability to clean just about anyone's clock in pool halls... even his, half the time now.

He's also tried incredibly hard to make me fit his idea of "socially acceptable", which has had mixed results. Example: I showed some artistic promise as a kid. "Cool, maybe I could become a cartoonist." Haha, not on his watch. Instead, he uses his "wiles" (read: outward disaproval) to pressure me into wanting to be an architect instead. Didn't work, but I learned something in trying. I likewise caved to his pressure and spent a year of university studying towards becoming a doctor for reasons I could not discern. My subsequent switch to Liberal Arts went a good way towards humbling him though, though he always kept me nice and carrer-driven (at least in relation to how'd I'd have probably been without his "guidance").

Oh, and his view of "socially acceptable" also extends to clothing choice as it turns out; my closet of trim dress shirts being infinitely inferior to his closet of oversized golf shirts. I'll never figure that one out. Must be generational (or geriatrical).

Sure, we don't necessarily have the tighest of bonds now. He considers his way of life "simple" and mine "overly complicated". I'll always be too much of a "goody-two-shoes" to be "cool" in his eyes, but I think he's actually rather "cool" with that. And, damn, I don't know what we'd do if we both didn't have competition in each other when it comes to the pool table.

Really, I feel like my life would be chaotic and confused without his tutelage---like I'd still be wasting time worrying exploring certain places if he hadn't thrown me headfirst into them.

I just wish he had taught me more French than câlisse de tabarnac estis.
 

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I currently have 2 ESTJs in my life. One is my granddad, one is a friend of mine. I love my granddad but my friend drives me nuts.

My granddad has a great sense of humor and is really helpful. He seems to believe that his advice will solve all my problems and that's a bit annoying since he and I aren't all that similar but aside from that, he's a great granddad and I love him very much. I have very fond childhood memories of him.

My ESTJ friend is, quite frankly, a complete nuisance. He was a great guy until he got an ego. Now all he does is talk about how he's always right and refuse to talk about anything that doesn't interest him. I tried bringing up MBTI to him and got a long lecture about how we shouldn't label people. I tried to explain that I like MBTI because I like meeting people at their level and knowing what to expect but he wouldn't listen. He also showed no interest in what was going on in my life and instead only talked about his life and his recent experiences. I really wish I could have the ESTJ I became friends with back. The one that would make me laugh out loud and who actually cared about me.

I guess that one thing I've learned from your type is that if you get an ego, you're insufferable. If not, you're wonderful people. I like your type, for the most part. I could never be in a relationship with one but I could certainly enjoy having you all as friends.
 

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@WickedQueen
Just curious. It seems that we have many similarities more than we aware of, like we both:
love people and have high interest about people's life.
I don't, though I think it's true of most other ENFPs and probably true of lots of ESTJs as well

friendly and talkative.
sometimes. other ESTJs are more down to business (even after work)

fun and funny
if they've developed their Ne. if not, ESTJs can be VERY boring

love to have fun and laugh out loud. We laugh almost about EVERYTHING.
same as above

are drawn to happy people.
probably

have attractive body language when we talk.
this one is true. I like ESTJ body language more.

this I have trouble believing for most ESTJs

love attention.
yup :cool:

have very strong emotion towards someone we love. But once the relationship is over, we get over it quite easily (compare to other types). We don't drawn ourselves into sadness. We don't even like to be sad and would pretend that everything is alright in order to prevent other people trying to interfering our life to help us.
true

very optimistic.
I've always thought of ESTJs as more neutral

inspire people (you by your inspiring words, ESTJs by our inspiring actions).
true

have short temper. When we're in a very angry state, we lost our words and start saying crappy things that we're actually don't really mean it.
I have the opposite problem. when I'm angry, I say what I really mean

love adventure.
most of the ESTJs I've met weren't very adventurous, though some of the 8w7s and 3w4s were.

seems open because we are friendly and talkative, but we actually guide our private life very well.
interesting

we both thinks that life is like a huge drama stage.
I have definitely not noticed this about ESTJs

we both need personal space at home and is lazy at home.
attracted to introverts.
interesting.

we both turn into INFP when we got depressed.
etc.
ESTJs get depressed? :laughing:

What do you think about that? Have you ever met any ESTJ irl? What do you think about ESTJ?
I'll start with the bad
- overly fervent about (often pointless) rules
- pushy
- stressed out ESTJ = YIKES!
- often boring in terms of trying new things

now for the good traits
- usually have a great sense of humor (unless they're stressed)
- productive as hell
- action oriented
- assertive
- don't waste time with useless intellectual masturbation like most Intuitives do
- stick to their guns until probe
- usually reasonable
 

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I have no problem with them. I like their propensity for order.
 
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