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Be it short encounters or long relationships; I'd be thankful if you could share your experiences with 8s here.
Thoughts of the general description of the type are welcome too.

Links to older threads with this topic would help aswell. I cannot find any.
 

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I work with a lot of self-proclaimed type Eights, although as the enneagram work they've done was very superficial, I'm assuming that some of them just feel like you have to be an Eight if you want to portray leadership. (They also keep persistently mistyping me as an Eight.) But some of them probably actually are Eights, and they are not very much alike.

My closest colleague is an Eight who uses her eightness for good. She's assertive and decisive. She enjoys taking charge, and she puts a lot of work into being on top of things and leading in a smart way. She doesn't mind straight talk when it's needed, but she also cares about the work community and for instance likes to mentor new young employees quite selflessly.

Another Eight is a walking caricature of toxic eightness: rude, shouty and constantly stepping on other people. If he outranks who he's talking to and he feels like it, the conclusion of the discussion will be that black is actually white. (At least for until he's in a different mood and claims that he never said that, or that he was misunderstood - which can very well be, because he certainly doesn't put any effort in explaining himself.) If you tell him that what he asks for is not physically, logically and fiscally possible, his answer is that it has to be, because it's been decided. He also doesn't think twice about publicly shaming people much lower in the hierarchy. He's actually said aloud in front of an auditorium full of people that it's not possible for him to alter his demeanor, because he's Eight and can't please other types. Needless to say that not all other Eights enjoy his style either.
 

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I work with a lot of self-proclaimed type Eights, although as the enneagram work they've done was very superficial, I'm assuming that some of them just feel like you have to be an Eight if you want to portray leadership. (They also keep persistently mistyping me as an Eight.) But some of them probably actually are Eights, and they are not very much alike.

My closest colleague is an Eight who uses her eightness for good. She's assertive and decisive. She enjoys taking charge, and she puts a lot of work into being on top of things and leading in a smart way. She doesn't mind straight talk when it's needed, but she also cares about the work community and for instance likes to mentor new young employees quite selflessly.

Another Eight is a walking caricature of toxic eightness: rude, shouty and constantly stepping on other people. If he outranks who he's talking to and he feels like it, the conclusion of the discussion will be that black is actually white. (At least for until he's in a different mood and claims that he never said that, or that he was misunderstood - which can very well be, because he certainly doesn't put any effort in explaining himself.) If you tell him that what he asks for is not physically, logically and fiscally possible, his answer is that it has to be, because it's been decided. He also doesn't think twice about publicly shaming people much lower in the hierarchy. He's actually said aloud in front of an auditorium full of people that it's not possible for him to alter his demeanor, because he's Eight and can't please other types. Needless to say that not all other Eights enjoy his style either.
what a piece of shit
 

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My opinion of two Eights that I know is a piece of shit? Maybe a bit more to go on, for the thread where thoughts about Eights were asked for?
 

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why would your opinion be a piece of shit?

the subject of your post was that of two different types of 8s you know.

my post labeled one of them as a piece of shit.
 

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ENTP 5w6 So/Sx 584 ILE Honorary INTJ ♂
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Beer Guardian
ENTP 5w6 So/Sx 584 ILE Honorary INTJ ♂
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Want to laugh? I am an extroverted 5 and I was married to an introverted 8. We actually were together for just shy of 20 years and married for 15. Our paths diverged at some point.

After nearly 5 years, I still miss her a lot. We had a lot of fun over the years. She is feisty. I could usually outwit her, but she could outwork me any day of the week (and twice on Sunday). Together, we made a pretty unbeatable team, as long as we could avoid annoying each other. She found my ability to come up with workable solutions on the fly to be rather amazing. I found her ability to stick to something and figure out the most obscure of details equally intriguing. Unfortunately, she was a workaholic with a severe insecurity when it came to money and her body shape, and I was more-or-less an unmotivated slob.

The more she obsessed about those two aspects of her character (and my obvious talents minus any serious motivation) the less effort she put into the marriage, and I didn't notice we were beginning to coast off the path quickly enough. I allowed myself to get lost in various pursuits (video games, weed, drinking, etc.) and she withdrew further into her work (at one point, she boasted 1 full time and 5 part-time jobs online). I worked one full-time job and rarely missed an opportunity for overtime, but I wouldn't pick up a side job. My time off was too important to me.

By the time I realized something was seriously wrong, she was ready to end it and was having an affair. I caught her out on Valentine's Day 2015. She no longer had any faith in our marriage. I couldn't convince her to reconcile. We divorced a month later. She sold our house and left the area a year after that. I moved away 6 months after she left. I wish I could have seen it in time to have done something to prevent our split. We had so much going for us, and a whole lot that drove us apart. I don't think I'll ever be able to love another woman the same way again.
 

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I test 3 very consistently but am also close to an 8. I'm an ENTJ and a CD on the DISC. I've found it useful to take various personality tests and compare the results. They almost always line up.
I just took the True Color test and came up as strong GREEN. The BIG FIVE came out very high C and O and moderately high E. Interesting stuff.
 

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They cannot lose... They don't find a way to deal with it. This is their Achilles' heel. They rather lose their sanity.
I found this especially true with EIGHTS who also have a THREE fix in their tritype (358, 368 and 378). They just wont give up and they are so competitive about everything sometimes. This also works on reverse, with THREE having an EIGHT fix. Add social or sexual with that...wait no, I'd rather not think about that combination :p
 

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They cannot lose... They don't find a way to deal with it. This is their Achilles' heel. They rather lose their sanity.
this manifests in me like this - last night a friend invited me out for trivia and a few beers. my partner said 'have fun, kick ass and win!' ... i replied - i've already won.

when i came home, she asked, how we did... i said 'we won ... 3rd... from last' .

to me, the win was getting out of the house and having beers with a friend. lifes mini games, such as trivia... are... trivial.

losing is not only impossible, winning is guaranteed.
 

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I dated 1 girl who was for sure an 8 and another girl who claimed she was 8.

The girl who was for sure 8, it was pretty obvious in her public demeanor, she was a tough girl, wore black tank tops and baggy sweatpants. She had a sexy tomboy thing going on. Even though in front of people she seemed very tough, behind closed doors she liked to act all cute and like a little girl sometimes, or get kinda sentimental in a romantic way, but she was still very sexual. There was a moment where she blew up at me and my friend and I kinda shyed away from the confrontation and she called me a bitch for it, which I totally expected, didn't even know what an 8 was at the time but it felt very 8. My thoughts about her are that she was way too wild for me, but she had alot more to her than you would expect from a "tough tomboy" girl, that almost seemed like a mask she wore to protect herself in front of people as cliche as that sounds. The whole reason we hooked up was because she revealed she wrote poetry and had a bunch of unfinished poems I helped finish, and then she just makes out with me XD. After me she went back to her way more masculine than me boyfriend, so idk what she likes.

The girl who claimed to be 8 was the opposite of this girl. She was extremely soft and sweet to me. Extremely, but it was sincere, she claimed she was not like that around other people and that I didn't have a proper view of her 8ness. At this time I knew MBTI and enneagram so we talked about it a ton. The only time I could maaaaybe see her being 8 was that anytime there was some super vulnerable moment where I would say something that would make her feel something really intense, she would quickly change the subject like she didn't want to feel what she just felt. We ended up calling it her valve switch or something like that, where things would get intense and she would have to just flick a switch to turn off whatever she felt to not get pricked by her emotions. But she would constantly tell me she wears her "armor" for other people. I still have doubts if she was really an 8. She didn't seem "tough" or controlling or any kind of common 8 thing. She did mention she had this internal locus of control that if I ever did anything bad to her or if there were any problems in the relationship she would take full blame, which I thought was unnecessary but seemed 8-ish. What I thought about her was she was the ultimate girlfriend, sweetest deepest soul I've met, and just gave love without expecting anything in return, she was incredible. Maybe 8s can look real different.


There was an 8 I had to deal with at work. Being around her I felt this vibe/aura/ idk what to call it, but it was this constant feeling of being trapped, like she had to be in control of everybody around her, this sort of silent expectation that everybody around her follow her lead and like she was keeping tabs on you. She gave me shit for no reason also, she yells at me one time and says "It felt so good to yell at him". We had secret beef based on nothing except her silent controlling vibe. She essentially was the wannabe manager co-worker. My thoughts about her was that she was a complete bitch.

I also took a martial arts class with an 8 and she was a bitch to me too. Everytime I made a mistake, because she was higher belt, she gave me an inappropriately hard time about it, one time she even cursed me out in front of kids, saying I was sparring too hard with a newcomer, not even able to see that I'm a newcomer myself so maybe I don't even know what's too hard yet. Just ridiculous. She also had the common 8 things, super rbf, looks unapproachable and extremely cold except when around people who know her, super intense. I think there was some secret sexual tension going on, because she never gave other newcomers a hard time, and everyone insisted "Oh she's totally cool." When my experience felt like "She's a total bitch." to me atleast.

I know 2 more 8s and they are cool, one's quite but when they speak it always sounds like they are speaking with a purpose and the other one is more of an easy going jokester.
 

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this manifests in me like this - last night a friend invited me out for trivia and a few beers. my partner said 'have fun, kick ass and win!' ... i replied - i've already won.

when i came home, she asked, how we did... i said 'we won ... 3rd... from last' .

to me, the win was getting out of the house and having beers with a friend. lifes mini games, such as trivia... are... trivial.

losing is not only impossible, winning is guaranteed.
completely agree with this, winning at all costs in the conventional way is more type 3
 

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I've known one 8 that was typed officially. Also likely an ENTJ.

One of her funnier quotes went something like, "I would make an excellent dictator. I'd have immense compassion for my citizens, but I would still immediately execute dissenters. After working hard to build a flourishing nation, I wouldn't let anyone screw it up."

Knowing her, this is not a blustering exaggeration. She really would rule a country with an iron fist if she ever had the resources/circumstances to get into that position. :laughing:
 

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My mother was E8. She's been dead now for 11.5 years. I was madly in love with her, but it was an abusive and hurting relationship.

I've never known a more beautiful and sexy woman. She exuded an intangible aura of feminine/masculine energy. And, I don't mean androgeny, in which the masculine and feminine meld into obscurity; rather, she simultaneously embodied the distinctly masculine and the distinctly feminine. I easily identify E8 women as I have an intense attraction to their yin/yang beauty.

She was a quiet, serious, and deeply private woman, undergirded by an agressive hunger. Her essence was of competence and control. Even as a grownup, I was sure that she ruled the phases of the moon. There was no question to her, she was fact.

And, that control extended to her emoting. Even in her anger, I sensed that she still was in control, that her behavior was conscious choice.

Though I am in not full agreement with Hudson, I find his description of the E4/E8 relationship to be depressingly perfect.

No coupling is more passionate than the Four/Eight combination—nor is any couple more likely to deteriorate into verbal and physical abuse and various kinds of personal retaliation for escalating offenses.
Couldn't live with her.

Both feel that the other can meet their intensity—that the other will not be boring or non-responsive to them. They make each other feel more alive—something that both want. Intensity, vitality, passion, and immediacy are the emotional hallmarks of this couple, and they relate to each other (and to others in their world) from an unusually high emotional pitch—there is always something happening in their relationship, and they like it this way.
No color without her.
 
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