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I fell in love, like, loyalty toward one: Been together 29 years, now. He was immature, "look at me!" when he was younger--before I met him, and he admits that I got him to "go deep" because I would not accept less.

He can still annoy me; I mean he "does" annoy me when he's so chipper and optimistic in spite of being through the exact same thing again and again and again, and it turns out unexpected or as I expected.

He used to be a real laugh whore but he's not so much now, though when he is, it's worth it--like his breaking up his Bible Study this week (I don't go to church), and the lay pastor had to wait to continue, to gain control, because my husband and a friend couldn't stop laughing...

He's loyal, loving, affectionate, will do anything for someone whether he knows them or not: We used to feed the homeless every month in San Diego--take them travel size soap and socks, underwear, tampons, aspirin, you name it--all from his putting the word out at work, and we'd go shopping, he'd make the lunches up.

He has a good heart. Not intellectual, which sometimes; in the past especially, disappointed me, but I'm OK with that now.

He has aged well in terms of maturity and balance.

Keep in mind he is an ESFj (Socionics) and Enneagram 2w3

And I am an INFj Enneagram 6w5 so for younger ESFJs with different Enneagrams, and my husband says, "You not there to help them grow," I might not like them.

Age, background (culture), maturity, influences, and so much more factor in--not just MBTI, because my biological mother was an ESFj and she got on my nerves so bad! She never outgrew shallow and "give me your attention" and too much else not worth mentioning.

Interesting, too: My husband disliked her. He said she was the most manipulative person he'd ever met. And he is not manipulative, i.e. a control freak like she was.

So, I try to keep an open mind; I think I do OK when I run across someone from any type, wait to see: Are you closer to the stereotype "for real" or you got something else going on I can learn from, listen to, enjoy.
 
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