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So I've heard a lot about INTJ/ENFP relationships, so I'm curious what do you think about INTJs? What do you like and what do you dislike?
 

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I like their intensity... but they can be a little anal. Smartarses. Otherwise, I like them... but I like everyone. Haha.
 

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I've only had a relationship with one INTJ, but that was a royal disaster, she was manipulative, cruel, clingy, needy, and hugely possessive. She also hated the fact that I had mostly female friends and refused to trust me, ironically, she ended up cheating on me, and also lying that she'd miscarried my child and spread this around my old university. Her gambit failed though, because I was well known, and well liked, so no one believed here haha. My sister is an INTJ. I guess we don't see eye to eye on a lot of issues, but blood is thicker than water, so we're pretty loyal to each other. However, we don't agree with each other on anything. She really disapproves of the way I always have my head up in the clouds. But on the other hand, she admires my spontaneity. I have to say though, that as a general rule, I tend to attract INFJs into my life, not sure why this is. I see the best in everyone though, unless they give me reason to not do so. Every individual is epic to me, and I love them unless they hit a nerve they had no business touching.
 

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Being that I dated one in a serious relationship, and a few others (confirmed) casually.. my impressions are that they vary, but my general view of INTJs is that I'm fascinated with what they think about, what they have to say, and more importantly, what they feel inside but have a hard time conveying.

The recent INTJ I dated- what I liked about him was his robotic exterior, in which, in his own words, his friends describe him the same way as well.

I think what i liked about how we were together when we hung out was the fact that we could 'complement' each other and still 'get' one another. Even on the first day we hung out, we hit it off, went to dinner, and spent the whole night talking.. it surprised me that I could get that quiet robot to talk.. what surprised me even more was he started to act like a kid around me, and getting all animated.. it just felt really nice to see that he could go from super-stiff, super-quiet, completely anal, angry to happy, fun, and charming..

My opinion is that it varies among the individual INTJ. I also have a close female friend who is INTJ, and I feel totally comfortable with our dynamic. It could be a match made in heaven, but that can be said with any pairing, because we come from so many different experiences that we cannot simply lump all groups into one, but at the same time, it does help to understand certain temperaments by grouping people, while, respecting their unique differences.

In short, depends..:happy: (Sorry if my post is incoherent right now- just woke up and the sleeping pill is wearin off).
 

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See this thread (I felt my response to it was particularly telling, but there's some other good ones too...):

http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/33233-enfp-intj.html

in short:

intj: hi.
enfp: hellooo!!!
intj: *stares*
enfp: wow. you're so dark and brooding.
intj: yup.
enfp: tell me about yourself!!!
intj: did you know that houseflies have a lifespan of two weeks?
enfp: ohmygod. that's so interesting. tell me more.
intj: *rolls eyes* you're so easily entertained.
enfp: *swoons*

2 weeks later

intj: oh my god you're so irritating
enfp: NOOO DON'T LEAVE ME YOU ARE SO INTERESTING I LOVE YOUUU
Just figured I'd link that because I really don't think I could describe the dynamic better if I tried.
 

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Viv has a point there, but I think that the right ENFP and INTJ can really make this work. The ENFP can offer an endless supply of optimism, energy, inspiration and rainbows to brighten up the INTJ, who in turn can offer stability without limiting the ENFP's dreams like an SJ would (most likely) do, for example.

I think we just... click with them. The tough exterior and mean sense of humour are nothing compared to what's underneath. I mean, I love my NF friends, but they support me in everything, every time. Comforting words are a lot more effective when coming from someone who doesn't usually say things of the sort. It's also a lot more touching and personal to see someone typically perceived as 'cold' acting all sweet than someone who's like that all the time. I can't explain this properly... It's gratifying. When they open up to you and when they show you their support, it's that much more meaningful because you know they don't do it for just anyone.

I also find that my INTJ friends in general balance me out a lot. They offer a different perspective for me to consider, a different approach that is at the same time similar to mine so I can understand it. They provide structure without forcing it on me. Dunno. I just seem to run to them for something stable yet not restrictive. They're worldly and open-minded, they accept our quirks just like we accept theirs. :)

Tl;dr: I ♥ INTJs. ^^
 

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I've been mentally exhausted and just finally got around to hopping in and posting an answer.

I love INTJs. My S.O. is an INTJ and I just got two more close friends to take the MBTI recently, both of which are INTJ (although one is borderline P, if I recall correctly).

Long-term relationship-wise: I love my S.O. VERY much, and although there are days I am feeling a little pissy and might tend to overthink and get myself worked up, I know he loves me back. It's been a bit over two years and we virtually never argue, although there have been one or two occasions where we've gotten a little miffed at each other. It's taken a lot of conditioning ourselves to the other's quirks and/or issues, but I wouldn't trade him for anyone. He is sweet and generous (he does a lot of things to help make my life easier that he's not obligated to do) and witty, and although we still have little misunderstandings at times, the positive far outweighs the negative. He provides a sense of balance to my jumbled up mind and my life, and hopefully I help him to relax and let out frustration through having fun.

Friendwise: All in all, I have had a very positive friend experience with this type, and retrospectively, find it the most comfortable to "click" with. One of them is a former-best friend (it's a long story but it had to do with some emotional/security issues and there was a while of not talking, but we are on talking terms again) whom some of my most precious memories are with. I met her in middle school and we became best friends and were inseparable for years, and we both helped each other through rough times and spent countless time together. However, she had a frustrating family situation (leading her to have some emotional issues that were tough to deal with). Around high school, she got irritated any time I mentioned a guy I liked, and it was found out that I was going to have to move, and I tried talking to her and hang out with her, but she sort of blocked me out after a point. She put a friend who betrayed her on a pedestal and left me in the dust despite the fact I never would do something like that to her. Although maybe she felt that by getting a boyfriend, I was abandoning her or something? Either way, we got back on talking terms later, although it's obviously just online now, and it's friendly and relaxed again, although it'll probably never be the same again... I am glad to know she is doing better though, and glad we at least got back to this point in friendship again. (This one is the borderline P, btw)

The other is a girl I met in the dorms during my freshman year of college. I didn't really have much in common with most of my hallway (because most of the other people were preppy, etc) but there was one very quiet girl on the end of the hallway, and I originally approached her because by the way she was dressing, I thought she might like anime, and she also looked like someone I could get along with in general. Well, she doesn't care for anime too much, but she has a morbid sense of humor and great taste in music, and she's helped getting through college be a lot easier, emotionally. (I don't live on campus anymore, but we still hang out a lot)

All in all, very positive :) (The way I see it, the ex-best friend situation is in the past, and it just took her some emotional maturing to deal with the issue, so I can overlook it enough not to consider it a big negative. Besides, que sera sera.)
 

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The more I date, and the more I integrate typology into my interactions with others, the more I'm coming to find that NT+NF is probably a poor idea. I'm not saying it can't work, anything can work if based on similar interests, goals, etc. What I'm saying is that NF+NF is more likely to work well and be fullfilling. I really think that INFJ+ENFP is the way to go. I would avoid sensors at all costs. It's so difficult at times to find a way to get them to understand our thought processes.

Friend wise, whatever. I have friends across the spectrum of types.
 
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INTJs are great. A little embarrassing when they get snippy with others in public while with me (there's one I go out to lunch with all the time, and he'll announce to waiter that the restaurant's music choice is appalling.) :unsure: Fuck...way to get loogies in our soup, man...

Other than that, they're awesome. They accept and actively support my smartassery, never run out of things to talk about, and are 0 drama.
 
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Viv has a point there, but I think that the right ENFP and INTJ can really make this work. The ENFP can offer an endless supply of optimism, energy, inspiration and rainbows to brighten up the INTJ, who in turn can offer stability without limiting the ENFP's dreams like an SJ would (most likely) do, for example.

I think we just... click with them. The tough exterior and mean sense of humour are nothing compared to what's underneath. I mean, I love my NF friends, but they support me in everything, every time. Comforting words are a lot more effective when coming from someone who doesn't usually say things of the sort. It's also a lot more touching and personal to see someone typically perceived as 'cold' acting all sweet than someone who's like that all the time. I can't explain this properly... It's gratifying. When they open up to you and when they show you their support, it's that much more meaningful because you know they don't do it for just anyone.

I also find that my INTJ friends in general balance me out a lot. They offer a different perspective for me to consider, a different approach that is at the same time similar to mine so I can understand it. They provide structure without forcing it on me. Dunno. I just seem to run to them for something stable yet not restrictive. They're worldly and open-minded, they accept our quirks just like we accept theirs. :)

Tl;dr: I ♥ INTJs. ^^
I do completely agree with this, 100%. This is how all my relationships with INTJ guys have been before they inevitably disintegrate. They're unspeakably amazing to begin with, but then they fall apart. For my own sake, I had to distance myself from the idealistic notion of a perfect INTJ/ENFP relationship, just because I always ended up so hurt. I do think I need to start gravitating towards NFs for my own emotional stability. But if I happened to stumble upon an INTJ who didn't eventually run screaming from me, I can't say I would be too upset.
 

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^ Very odd that a lot of you guys have problems maintaining friendships with INTJs.

Most of my longest term friends are INTJs. Whereas with ESFPs and INFJs, we tend to drift apart or end badly.
 

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I love INTJ's and really click with them well... I don't have to sensor my speech with them which is like a breath of fresh air honestly...
 

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I love INTJ's and really click with them well... I don't have to sensor my speech with them which is like a breath of fresh air honestly...
Nice N-side joke... ;-P
 
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