[Raichan]

I wish people would understand that I cannot be forced to not pay attention to some of my feelings when they're undeniably there. It's unhealthy for my growth.

 

[difromoz]

Where do I start? I have learned so much recently via this forum and personality traits, etc not only about my own specific character and habits but also how to get on better with others. I guess the main things I wish others knew about feelers is that despite appearing 'all over the place' at times and as changeable as the wind...we usually remain true to our deepest values. One of the best things about being an ENFP feeler is that more often than not we are very easily satisfied; just don't complicate things with too many insignificant details. Personally I don't do details very well at all but that doesn't mean that I don't get it but rather that I get it in a very different way that doesn't usually require details as such.
As a rule; feelers have an added bonus whereby we can beckon and utilize that amazingly authentic part of ourselves which is basic raw emotion. I am not certain of the differences b/n the various feeling types but I do know that as an ENFP my deep sensitivity to anything and everything is part of my being...learning to manage those feelings so that my actions / words / etc are totally congruent with my values and motives takes lots of hard work because simply reacting to everything I feel isn't always appropriate or the best option. And BTW if a feeler says something like...hey I feel this or that and then is the absolute opposite in a flash- that's because our feelings and the countless opportunities we see run rampant especially when we are upset, ecstatic, making decisions, tired, excited, happy, sad, immature, etc...once our type can train ourselves to always take a step back and observe / listen to our real feelings we start an amazing journey of self-growth which sees us utilize our amazing capacity to really create magic.:happy:

 

[dorareever]

That feeling doesn't mean mushy lovey dovey crappy weakness. That it doesn't have anything to do with being a wimp, or an emo or whatever label you want to use. Feeling is like electricity, it can hurt and only those who are able to deal with it and use it to improve their lives won't be burned to a crisp. It takes strength to be able to sustain it, and wisdom to profit from what it teaches us.

You thinkers would cry and be emo too if you had to live with that inordinate amount of burning fire inside of you.

 

[difromoz]

Feeling is like electricity, it can hurt and only those who are able to deal with it and use it to improve their lives won't be burned to a crisp. It takes strength to be able to sustain it, and wisdom to profit from what it teaches us.

You thinkers would cry and be emo too if you had to live with that inordinate amount of burning fire inside of you.

I understand where you are coming from ...and many thinking types tend to dismiss us as over-sensitive, drama-addicted, etc when it can be very difficult to contain the emotion that constantly sweeps through often at lightning speed and with such velocity that it is totally overwhelming.

I have learned recently however to accept that everyone has feelings but that different types react / handle them according to their own specific formula or type's capacity to deal with them as such, etc. For the feeling types; it is perhaps no more raw or high voltage than for the thinking type but simply is expressed and dealt with differently. The ability to remain rational / calm and think before I make a decision or react is something I work on daily because the combination of my intuitive extra-sensitive feeling balanced with strong logic / thinking is definitely much better in the long run. However...under extreme stress or illness the logical part goes out the window!

Of course one of the great things about being so feeling orientated is the ability to lift the atmosphere via affirmations, reading, watching a comedy or feel good movie and really feel the positivity or fun. I can never stay down because my nature always sees the lighter, fun side of life. I use this infinite energy source the best way I can. :happy:

 

[teddy564339]

1. That we're not idiots who are incapable or unwilling to use clear thought, reason or logic.

2. That we don't like being emotionally hurt because it makes our lives suck...we're not trying to be sensitive to get on your nerves, we're just naturally like that.

 

[SubterraneanHomesickAlien]

The biggest misconception is that feelers are unable to use logic or think rationally. Though, after having browsed through the xxFx forums for a while, I'm starting to think there might be some truth in that statement.

 

[dorareever]

I understand where you are coming from ...and many thinking types tend to dismiss us as over-sensitive, drama-addicted, etc when it can be very difficult to contain the emotion that constantly sweeps through often at lightning speed and with such velocity that it is totally overwhelming.

I have learned recently however to accept that everyone has feelings but that different types react / handle them according to their own specific formula or type's capacity to deal with them as such, etc. For the feeling types; it is perhaps no more raw or high voltage than for the thinking type but simply is expressed and dealt with differently. The ability to remain rational / calm and think before I make a decision or react is something I work on daily because the combination of my intuitive extra-sensitive feeling balanced with strong logic / thinking is definitely much better in the long run. However...under extreme stress or illness the logical part goes out the window!

Of course one of the great things about being so feeling orientated is the ability to lift the atmosphere via affirmations, reading, watching a comedy or feel good movie and really feel the positivity or fun. I can never stay down because my nature always sees the lighter, fun side of life. I use this infinite energy source the best way I can. :happy:

it's not just a matter of feelings being more raw, as in intense emotions...I meant more as having some kind of powerful force inside you that pulls you in a certain direction and the fact that you have to follow it to be at peace because if you don't it ruins you and others.

 

[Ectoplasm]

Just because there is no f in intelligence doesn't mean the f must stand for foolish. Humanistic and ethical values are both valid forms of expression and growth on the individual and collective levels! They are emotional and empathetic intelligences, they aren't inherently inferior to logical or mathmatical intelligences.

 

[SubterraneanHomesickAlien]

Just because there is no f in intelligence doesn't mean the f must stand for foolish. Humanistic and ethical values are both valid forms of expression and growth on the individual and collective levels! They are emotional and empathetic intelligences, they aren't inherently inferior to logical or mathmatical intelligences.

I agree and disagree with this. It is true that being a feeler has no, or minimal, correlation with intelligence, yes. But I don't like when people say something like, "I'm emotionally intelligent" or "I'm physically intelligent" (what the hell is that even supposed to mean?). Intelligence is defined by Merriam-Webster as, "the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests)", and that has no correlation with emotions at all. If you're not smart, you're not smart, period. But like I said, being an xxFx isn't inversely proportional to being intelligent. At least, there are no reliable studies that have been done to prove this.

 

[pinkrasputin]

That I'm not emotional, my feelings don't get hurt easily, and I have a great sense of humor. Also, I can't stand emotionally driven arguments or to be manipulated by other people's emotions.

I use logic. Try obtaining a college degree with "feelings" alone.

I use my feelings to make value judgments.

Taking inventory of my relationship is healthy. With divorce rates souring, I would assume people would all want to march in this direction before communication between couples no longer exists.

 

[Ectoplasm]

I agree and disagree with this. It is true that being a feeler has no, or minimal, correlation with intelligence, yes. But I don't like when people say something like, "I'm emotionally intelligent" or "I'm physically intelligent" (what the hell is that even supposed to mean?). Intelligence is defined by Merriam-Webster as, "the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests)", and that has no correlation with emotions at all. If you're not smart, you're not smart, period. But like I said, being an xxFx isn't inversely proportional to being intelligent. At least, there are no reliable studies that have been done to prove this.

You're correct about this, I do quote it in all honesty as a defence mechanism to make me feel better about my own relatively low intelligence! However it is sound in the theory of multiple intelligences. Although the theory multiple intelligences is unfalsifiable and therefore not scientifically recognised it can fairly be treated as a hypothetical theory, just like God!:happy:

 

[pretty.Odd]

That just because I have an "F" instead of a "T" doesnt mean I'm a manchild that cries when I'm faced with a logical argument.

 

[Raichan]

I agree and disagree with this. It is true that being a feeler has no, or minimal, correlation with intelligence, yes. But I don't like when people say something like, "I'm emotionally intelligent" or "I'm physically intelligent" (what the hell is that even supposed to mean?). Intelligence is defined by Merriam-Webster as, "the ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one's environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria (as tests)", and that has no correlation with emotions at all. If you're not smart, you're not smart, period. But like I said, being an xxFx isn't inversely proportional to being intelligent. At least, there are no reliable studies that have been done to prove this.

Emotional intelligence (EI) describes the ability, capacity, skill, a self-perceived ability to identify, assess, and control the emotions of one's self, of others, and of groups.

In other words, the ability to apply knowledge from the worlds of emotions and empathy.

It is a form of intelligence because society is also defined by the socialization that diverse personal individuals practise :dry:

 

[GoGo]

I'm studying for an English degree, and trust me, a dictionary is NOT the end all be all of a word's definition, particularly if said dictionary isn't the OED.

 

[Doom]

I wish people would stop treating it like its such a worthless trait to have, I've always felt as it being the glue that keeps things from falling apart kind of like the voice of reason I guess you could say. Some people treat it that you have no sense of logic or reasoning at all and are not valuable.

 

[rowingineden]

Bitch, I am not as soft, naive, or delicate as you think I am. I'm not your toy, your dog, your mark. I will, in fact, cut you. Just so you know.

 

[Everyday Ghoul]

I just wish people understood, that being a feeler or a thinker breaks down, essentially, to this.

Feeler: How will this effect myself or the people around me?
Thinker: What's the data say?

Personal vs. Impersonal, that's it. End of effing story. If you're overly emotional, you're neurotic. Basing decisions on emotional reactions is irrational, and not related (at fucking all) to being a feeler or thinker. I mean, if I get pissed off, and chop your fucking head off, I don't think, that I'm going to be classified as thinking or acting rationally, answering to either personal or impersonal values.

 

[Raichan]

The specialty of Feelers - Matters of personal significance that effect human nature - Can be useful in social sciences

The specialty of Thinkers - Impersonal factual data to understand how the world works - Can be useful in hard sciences

STILL, this DOES NOT MEAN a Thinker cannot be deep in empathy, creative social works and this DOES NOT MEAN a Feeler cannot rationalize about systems properly.

So to anyone who thinks emotional intelligence isn't a form of intelligence, perhaps just consider deleting social sciences and study of human nature then. Duh.

 

[Ectoplasm]

So to anyone who thinks emotional intelligence isn't a form of intelligence, perhaps just consider deleting social sciences and study of human nature then. Duh.

I wouldn't worry too much about it Izzie, I usually see people who only measure and value by one trait as people who have closed their eyes to the many possibilities in the pursuit of the one "truth" which may not be a truth after all.

Sometimes I wonder whether I'm actually an INTP who is stuck in a childlike caring and feeling stage which creates the illusion of being a feeler. But if I had the choice of being more logical at the expense of losing compassion or feeling or vice versa I would sacrifice cold hard logic to be loving and kind. If that makes me an idiot, so be it.

 

[kiwigrl]

That feelers aren't always touchy feely and physical. Sometimes they want to be left the hell alone.

That feelers can't help how deeply they feel some things. They are not being up and down with their moods just to inconvenience you, they are trying to make sense of some things going on in their lives.