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Discussion Starter #1
When a 4 represses himself or herself, how does that manifest? Do they become emotionally crippled? More self-loathing?
 

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I would think it'd show whether in average health or disintegration. I think the sign of repression is searching for identity. 4s feel dramatically inspired, and criticize their human limits. They consequently feel broken. I'd say repressing oneself would be within pursuing solutions for the brokenness. See, 4s are not broken, inferior, insignificant or inauthentic (in the way they imagine). By 'fixing' ourselves we're only affirming there's something there to fix. We begin to feel more and more out of touch with ourselves (repressed), creating that "authenticity" obsession.

Bottom line: you can't fix humanness. Why try? So, I say we repress our humanness, and it shows through average 4 behavior. Each Enneatype probably does its own bit of repressing. If such a thing keeps us from integration, our vices could very well be our repression points.

Now, if an average:low health 4 consciously represses itself for some specific reason, I'm sure it'd resurface in some erratic outbursts or compulsions later, as it's driven deeper into the subconscious. That's more into general psychology, I think, than Enneagram.

Is there a form of repression you're experiencing that led you to making this thread?
 

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I am not sure what you mean by repressing oneself. Repressing emotions? Restricting expression of identity?

I consider myself pretty repressed, emotionally. I can't even imagine being in tune with my emotions and able to express them in a healthy, uninhibited manner. Even when I'm being more outgoing and playful, it's almost entirely mental expression and improvisation. My emotions are stowed safely away where they can't be exploited.

But when I'm actually in a situation where I REALLY cannot "be myself", in other words when I feel my image is being controlled or filtered by someone else, or by circumstances... I get very bored, very quickly. And very angsty. I withdraw and lose motivation for... anything, I guess. Not good.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
I am not sure what you mean by repressing oneself. Repressing emotions? Restricting expression of identity?

I consider myself pretty repressed, emotionally. I can't even imagine being in tune with my emotions and able to express them in a healthy, uninhibited manner. Even when I'm being more outgoing and playful, it's almost entirely mental expression and improvisation. My emotions are stowed safely away where they can't be exploited.

But when I'm actually in a situation where I REALLY cannot "be myself", in other words when I feel my image is being controlled or filtered by someone else, or by circumstances... I get very bored, very quickly. And very angsty. I withdraw and lose motivation for... anything, I guess. Not good.
This. I get very bored and can lose myself in myself, if that makes sense.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I wonder if a 4 who's repressed comes off like a One instead of a Two. Especially if they're a Social 4. Hmmm.
 
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First things that come to mind:
I would become secretly self-righteous and very demanding of myself.
I'd start acting on "should do" instead of "want to do".
I would use concepts to justify my actions and explain my behaviours.
 

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First things that come to mind:
I would become secretly self-righteous and very demanding of myself.
I'd start acting on "should do" instead of "want to do".
I would use concepts to justify my actions and explain my behaviours.
So basically you would act like an average One. I suspected as much.
 
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Definitely. I don't understand though. Why is this, do you have any insight?
I think the two types share the guilt and self-loathing at failing to measure up. My impression is that Fours get weighted down by it more.
 

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When a 4 represses himself or herself, how does that manifest? Do they become emotionally crippled? More self-loathing?
I've been repressed my entire life. I've repressed my emotions, needs, wants.
Repression is quite a pathetic move. At the end of the day you just end up feeling like an old, cracked jar, filled with mud. the mud refuses to seep out from the cracks and the jar is so old that any sort of movement would cause it to shatter into a million pieces, each stained with mud.
I am well aware of my emotional state, but there is this.. emotional saturation and pure apathy lingering around you. You just can't feel anything, you wish you could, however bad it it, but you can't. Its not numbness, no. Its not as bad as that. Its about feeling just about the bare minimum of each feeling and not being able to feel anything else beyond that. After a while the 5wing sets in and there comes this emotional numbness. Thats when you remain ambivalent to every emotion. the slightest emotional reaction can tire you. There won't ever be enough rest, you just can't seem to allow your emotions to flow freely. This leads to a really intense identity crisis. you can no longer base you identity on your emotions, you use your thoughts to evoke emotion, but it will never be real enough to be felt. Like i said earlier, only the surface will be feel-able. You lose all sense of purpose and just wait, longing for the day you can just release everything, even if it means shattering that jar. The hate does set in, but its just pure dry thoughts, no feeling whatsoever. Without being able to feel that hate you start confusing yourself with a 5. that is if you're oblivious to your current inner state. Ive read that unhealthy 4w5, will eventually have the negative effects of a 5.
 

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I'm not sure. I am not sure of my own repression because to be aware of your own goes against its definition. I know that if I "hold my feelings in" I turn masochistic and frustrated with myself. Which ends up in me not being repressed for very long. When I think of a four repressing themselves, it makes me think of a dam that is eventually going to burst. I hold things in, but it always finds a way out.

It makes me wonder, can we even repress anything? I feel like if it manifests in any direction, inwardly or outwardly, it's not being repressed.
 

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Unhealthy LevelsLevel 7: When dreams fail, become self-inhibiting and angry at self, depressed and alienated from self and others, blocked and emotionally paralyzed. Ashamed of self, fatigued and unable to function.
Level 8: Tormented by delusional self-contempt, self-reproaches, self-hatred, and morbid thoughts: everything is a source of torment. Blaming others, they drive away anyone who tries to help them.
Level 9: Despairing, feel hopeless and become self-destructive, possibly abusing alcohol or drugs to escape. In the extreme: emotional breakdown or suicide is likely. Generally corresponds to the Avoidant, Depressive, and Narcissistic personality disorders.




4 - Enneagram Type Four: The Individualist
 

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Wow I loved this and I completely relate. From your profile I guess you've realized you're actually a five, but I'm completely sure I'm a four. But I have a five wing and sx-blindspot and I think I'm repressed as heck. It started really recently. I want to not be repressed anymore, I forget things really easily because I repress a lot of my memories or I just pretend I'm not even really alive when I experience things that would make me crazy angry or sad or hate myself. I don't know what I repressed really. I think just the fact that I don't think my desire will ever be fulfilled. and I believe my/our core fear a lot.
 
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