I'm not completely positive that I fall into one of the groups over the other, but I would say I definitely lean more towards the "extremely introverted and timid" side.
What's strange is that, throughout my life, I've found that people perceive me to be very different from who I really am.
I've had several extroverts (2 ENTJs, 2 ESTJs, an ENFJ and an ENFP, to be specific) tell me that I am very similar to them- even that we have the "same" personality. They were, of course, not at all speaking of Myers-Briggs, but only off of their own perception of me in relation to themselves. In each of these situations, they assumed that I was very extroverted. It's almost funny (almost), because it couldn't be further from the truth.
I also tend to appear extroverted when I am with a group of friends or family whom I am comfortable with, or a group of introverts whom I am not intimidated by at all.
I've been called "outgoing," "friendly," and "loud" by people who fit into these groups. Also, I tend to be viewed in this group as harsh, rigid, confident, strong-willed, assertive, creative, self-disciplined, funny and intelligent. Some of those things are right- many of them are just an overcompensation for my weaknesses.
There is a little bit of a split here, but I think that some of the people that view me in this way see my Fe a lot- the ones who know me very well, like certain members of my family. They understand my concern for others and my need for relational harmony.
The other ones, who think I am more harsh and determined, I think actually perceive me to have Te-dom. I get that impression because the ones who have been especially certain that I am "just like them" are all Te-dom. I think that's a result of my overcompensation to impress them, knowing that they do not understand my Fe. (For instance, with my ESTJ boss, who was only impressed by extroverted "go-getters"...knowing he was like this encouraged me to hide my Ni and my Fe and only show him the most logical and determined parts of me)
On the contrary, when with a group of intimidating extroverts, or in any group in which I am uncomfortable, I become very withdrawn and insecure. I don't speak much, and speak quietly if I do. I prefer to listen and to ask questions, and try to stay out of the spotlight as much as possible.
I've been viewed as shy, timid, nervous, passive-aggressive, neurotic, quiet and passive by many people fitting into these groups. They generally do not hear me speak enough to get an idea of what I'm like. I would say that these people don't know enough about me to even recognize my Fe, let alone anything else. I would say, though, that, seeing as they don't get to see my emotions at all, they would assume I am not a highly emotional person, nor that I am concerned about the emotions of others.
And then there are the few people who get to see the introverted side of me while still letting me open up emotionally. These people see the ups and downs of my personality. They know I'm obsessed with theories, that I'm highly concerned for the well-being of others, that I hate conflict, that I constantly over-analyze, and that I will talk for hours about ideas but can't keep small talk for the life of me.
These people, I think, see my Fe in the most accurate light.
I was never accustomed to acting extroverted until about the age of fifteen, when I started emulating more popular kids at school in order to make friends. I wanted to be an ESTP (or an ENTP, depending on the situation), really. I made an alter-ego and went with it. For a while, it was an overcompensation, but now I'm able to be myself in most situations, and dip into that alter-ego state if needed.
WOW. I'm rambling a lot.
Hope something good is in there
