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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
When I say look I mean behaviour etc. :)

Thanks
 

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Strangely, I'm not too concerned about the injured lover, the unmotivated, the loner, the harsh perfectionist, narcissist, bi-polar esque mood changes, or the self deprecating. The scariest one-two combo to me is being bitter/cynical + self affirming. I feel like you can't get through to these people and they tend to be so toxic and stubborn. They tend to see everything in a negative, perhaps even hateful light, and that self affirming component means they don't really need feedback from the environment or other people -- they're so closed off to it. In their eyes, they're always in the "know" and "right."

How does that look? Rolling eyes, sighing, acting as if they see through your BS and are just humoring you, lashing out, withdrawn, unhappy, prone to bad mouthing others behind their back or using strong harsh words, etc.
 

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It's going to be incredibly personal and pointed. INFJs know where to put the knife in to really make it hurt. If they're damaged to the extent that they won't hold back, their behavior will likely zero in on the things that a person is most sensitive about.
I can relate a great deal with this, too.

It's the kind of thing that makes INFJs excellent choices for a debating team. :th_o:

If I unleashed on someone who I have been very patient with for a long time, there would be a lot of 'Wow, where did that come from ?', and about 18 things that the other person didn't even think that I had noticed or still remembered all of this time.
 

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being bitter/cynical + self affirming. I feel like you can't get through to these people and they tend to be so toxic and stubborn. They tend to see everything in a negative, perhaps even hateful light, and that self affirming component means they don't really need feedback from the environment or other people -- they're so closed off to it. In their eyes, they're always in the "know" and "right."

How does that look? Rolling eyes, sighing, acting as if they see through your BS and are just humoring you, lashing out, withdrawn, unhappy, prone to bad mouthing others behind their back or using strong harsh words, etc.
Holy Cow, that was me at a time in my life when I was so unhappy with myself and my lot that I could not listen or see reasons. I hunkered down and was in a "me against the world" mode.

The irony was that I thought I was in supreme control (because I was so not in control). If being considerate and nice could not win points, I'd be sharp and critical, pointing out every fault and scar under the banner of telling "the truth".
 

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Well...depends on the damage, and how much he, as a person, has been hurt before.

I remember the first time I was ever damaged on an emotional level. I probably looked really down, because the damage was more than I could handle at the time. It was overwhelming. What did I look like? Probably like crap that didn't want to be bothered. I would try to go as far as possible from people, and reminisce, or get lost inside my head.

Now when I get hurt, I simply get over it as if nothing had happened. It does sting from time to time, but as time goes on I probably look less and less affected by the damage others do to me occasionally. People grow up and learn how to deal with things differently. We get stronger, not weaker.
 

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Personally...

Immediate exposure to a damaging event (like an argument or insult) results in be being withdrawn, distant, uncommunicative, and prone to making irrational conclusions. Prolonged exposure to the emotionally damaging situation results in passive aggressive verbal jabs, deep sarcasm, and extremely toxic thinking. Excessive exposure results in wild bursts of emotion, paranoia, and a general appearance of being out of control.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Personally...

Immediate exposure to a damaging event (like an argument or insult) results in be being withdrawn, distant, uncommunicative, and prone to making irrational conclusions. Prolonged exposure to the emotionally damaging situation results in passive aggressive verbal jabs, deep sarcasm, and extremely toxic thinking. Excessive exposure results in wild bursts of emotion, paranoia, and a general appearance of being out of control.
That's the exact same for me, and we also have the exact same tri-type! Odd
 

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I'll wear a GoPro camera and record a day of my life for you and send it, but first...

I'll need your full name, copy of your birth certificate, home mailing address, telephone number, social insurance number and credit card/banking information...
 

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defensive; uncertain; highly dismissive; very critical; quits relationships very early on when signs of bad stuff appear; unforgiving; non-understanding; no patience; low social meter from the start; does not have the time to develop ideas or feelings.

umm...

bye!
 

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People who behave like that are in some weird verbal tug of war and really want the INFJ in the room to take the other end of the rope and pull. Telling them that life is more fun if you play tag rather than insist on playing tug of war just seems to go nowhere. I like the way you describe that behaviour @Lad.

Strangely, I'm not too concerned about the injured lover, the unmotivated, the loner, the harsh perfectionist, narcissist, bi-polar esque mood changes, or the self deprecating. The scariest one-two combo to me is being bitter/cynical + self affirming. I feel like you can't get through to these people and they tend to be so toxic and stubborn. They tend to see everything in a negative, perhaps even hateful light, and that self affirming component means they don't really need feedback from the environment or other people -- they're so closed off to it. In their eyes, they're always in the "know" and "right."

How does that look? Rolling eyes, sighing, acting as if they see through your BS and are just humoring you, lashing out, withdrawn, unhappy, prone to bad mouthing others behind their back or using strong harsh words, etc.
 
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