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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
My ex IXTP and I broke up in April. We are both in our mid to late 20’s. He wasn’t making much effort and had no idea about what the future held. Only ambiguous ideas. Anyways, he started texting me again about a month later asking how I was doing and such. In August, he has asked me to hangout. We ended up cuddling and kissing. The same thing happened a week later. I asked him what was happening between us and he said that he enjoys my company, cuddling, and that he wants a long-term relationship. However, he said he not good at the effort and that he is pretty sure anything will end the same as last time. I do know that he is also on a dating site, but nothing has progressed so far. We have still been hanging out every few weeks. Is he just using me? Does he like me more than a friend, but is afraid?
 

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I've noticed that in most cases this means that the other person doesn't know what they want. It could be he wants it but has doubts, could be he's just keeping things warm until he's found something new or it could be he really wants this to work but doesn't know how to keep a real thing going...

In the end, there's only one thing you should worry about: are you confortable with how things are going? Do you want this to continue like this, do you want more or less? You're a player in this game. Take control of it and decide what you want out of this. If you feel like you're being used then stop being used. Either try to see him more or tell him to back off unless he really wants to go for something.
It might feel harsh, but if you want to be treated fairly, you have to be honest and open about something like this. Draw a line somewhere and then he gets to decide on what side of the line he wants to be.
 

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ISTP 9w8
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"wasn’t making much effort"
"no idea about what the future held"
"is pretty sure anything will end the same as last time"
"on a dating site"

He doesn't sound like boyfriend material tbh.
 

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It sounds like he has an emotional block thats keeping him from commiting. He needs to face it before any progress can be made in your relationship. He may not even know he has one though, because your brain will work very hard to avoid facing the problem.
Ask him whats holding him back, if he gets sqwirmy and does not want to answer, its prob an emotional block.
 
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