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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I recently moved into a new house and invited this INFJ girl I liked to come over for a visit. We had gone out on a one-on-one date before. She accepted my invite. Then she said one of friend would like to come visit too. And then invited another. And another. In the end there will be 4-5 people coming over to my house. Although all the friends she invited are mutual friends of us, I still feel disturbed and confused on why she tries to turn a date into a housewarming or friends gathering.

To be honest I now feel completely let down and not looking forward to this 'date' in the slightest bit. What are her intentions?
 

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It's hard to say. Maybe she just wants to see how you are in a social setting feel you out, or maybe she's just not that into you. I guess you might have to wait it out and see what she does next, and if it becomes a persistent issues, bring it up to her ask what's going on.
 

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Was the one on one date spent in a public area? It might just be that being alone with you at your house is too much too soon and she likes the idea of moving slower, so she asked some trusted friends to attend. Spending one one one time in the other person's home is quite intimate and maybe she just isn't quite there, yet. I understand your annoyance with her asking so many other people to join. That could come across inconsiderate. There is no way to tell her motives. If I were you, I'd charm her and the friends she invited. Then, before she leaves ask her out again, but for a more ' date, date .' Throughout the evening you could ask leading questions to figure out what an ideal date would be ideal for her and plan to do something similar with her next time. She just might need to feel like she can trust you to move to spending alone time at your place. That's just my opinion and I hope it goes well for you.
 

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I recently moved into a new house and invited this INFJ girl I liked to come over for a visit. We had gone out on a one-on-one date before. She accepted my invite. Then she said one of friend would like to come visit too. And then invited another. And another. In the end there will be 4-5 people coming over to my house. Although all the friends she invited are mutual friends of us, I still feel disturbed and confused on why she tries to turn a date into a housewarming or friends gathering.

To be honest I now feel completely let down and not looking forward to this 'date' in the slightest bit. What are her intentions?
She probably thought the point was seeing the house, not a date. If I'd only been on a date or two with a dude and it wasn't explicit that something was a date, I wouldn't want to assume either.

How clear were you it was supposed to be a date? I wouldn't have interpreted it as one.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Was the one on one date spent in a public area? It might just be that being alone with you at your house is too much too soon and she likes the idea of moving slower, so she asked some trusted friends to attend. Spending one one one time in the other person's home is quite intimate and maybe she just isn't quite there, yet. I understand your annoyance with her asking so many other people to join. That could come across inconsiderate. There is no way to tell her motives. If I were you, I'd charm her and the friends she invited. Then, before she leaves ask her out again, but for a more ' date, date .' Throughout the evening you could ask leading questions to figure out what an ideal date would be ideal for her and plan to do something similar with her next time. She just might need to feel like she can trust you to move to spending alone time at your place. That's just my opinion and I hope it goes well for you.
What puzzles me is that the previous one-on-one date was at my previous place too! Just the two of us.
 

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What puzzles me is that the previous one-on-one date was at my previous place too! Just the two of us.
Well, I'm going to ask if she is in fact really an INFJ? That behavior would be more like an ENFJ, in my opinion. Still, MBTI aside, if you like this chic, put up with her bringing your friends, but next, ask her out to a fabulous date. Try to use this house warming thing as a way to get to know her. What better way to get to know her than to ask her closest friends about her. Listen and think of it as an opportunity to understand her. Plus, girls trust their friends and it's bonus points if her friends like you and approve. Serve some good food and drinks and play some chill music. Think of this as a way to show her and her friends what you have to offer. Make sure the place is clean and comfortable, as well. I wish you the best.
 
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