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i recently started thinking whether or not i ever wanted to get married. I like the idea because i like the whole commitment aspect of it and the idea that i will be spending the rest of my life with someone i truly love, but what difference really would saying the vows make,, having a marriage certificate would not make any difference to me,, how about you??
 

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a piece of paper and a minister can't tell me that my relationship with my SO is somehow stronger

if i can't love a girl 100% out of marriage then i can't love her that much while in a marriage

it's just an action of tradition that has a lot of hype around it. it is an announcement to the people in your life of your bond to another person

I would only marry if my SO wanted to for the sake of tradition and formality. but i'll be damned if a girl wants me to marry her because she thinks it will strengthen our relationship. that is bullcrap.

imo marriage is a tradition invented by Fe users. i don't require it. my love is internal and eternal.
 

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Here's my personal view:
I think that marriage takes commitment and responsibility, and it seems (from the high divorce rate) that people don't know what they're getting into when they get married.
I haven't ever been married, and I wouldn't want to go down that road unless I was 110% committed to that person and ready for the responsibility that comes with it.
 

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Marriage is in the mind. I think it best to find a person who psychologically and spiritually challenges you (oh, and shares many of the same interests). This, I have found, enriches life greatly. The whole legality of it is for monetary purposes only, which is nice.
 

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Marriage just makes it harder to break up. Thank God I didn't go through with it. All of my friends are in what I call a "Starter Marriage." Generally failing within the first three-five years, they decided to get married on an emotional whim and didn't expect any problems along the way. I'm all for living with someone before I marry them. I need to know what kind of person I'm going to be stuck with. I'm in no rush, but my mother and grandmother are putting the pressure on me.
 

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Marriage is an outmoded concept in which neither the State nor any Ecclesiastical/Ecumenical/Theological body has any fucking business sticking their nose into.

If people weren't such sheep and knew the origins of the ceremonial symbols, especially in this day of women's liberation, they'd take the ring and piece of paper and destroy them both. But, SHIT no... people gotta have that diamond and marriage certificate. Idiots.

Is it important? No, not to me it isn't.
 

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Unhappily married people are an incredibly profitable resource. If people stopped getting married/divorced, that resource would dry up and a lot of high-paying professions would cease to exist. The exploitation of stupidfolk is what keeps the economy humming along.

I'm in no rush, but my mother and grandmother are putting the pressure on me.
Don't you have your own mind?
 

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I've been married twice. I think I'll be leaving it at that.

I think at one point I understood why people got married. My expectations have been shattered in so many ways. . . .
 

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i recently started thinking whether or not i ever wanted to get married. I like the idea because i like the whole commitment aspect of it and the idea that i will be spending the rest of my life with someone i truly love, but what difference really would saying the vows make,, having a marriage certificate would not make any difference to me,, how about you??

Marriage is about the vow I took that I would be with my husband for better or for worse, and unlike some couples who seem to think when the going gets tough you can always get off that ride, I take it seriously and am committed to this for as long as I shall live. I guess if you don't see marriage in this light then it isn't going to have any significance for you.

I always remember watching this episode of Dr Phil once, and he said, If you think your marriage is over, you have to earn your way out, try every avenue you possibly can before giving up. That said, I'm no quitter.

There is also a spiritual aspect for me with getting married.
 

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Well, the most important thing to me is the relationship...everything else is secondary.

I suppose it would be up to the girl, if she wanted to or not. Kids might play a part in the decision. It would probably be just great even without marriage though.

But my parents have had a happy marriage for 21 years, so there is proof it can go right sometimes, if the couple allows each other to change. :happy:
 

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i think you have to put marriage in context to understand it's meaning.

from what i remember of my anthropology class marriage started as a way to stop fighting between tribes. the idea being that if you had kin in the next tribe it would be hard to rape and pillage it. it evolved to the foundation of the family we now have, over lots of time.

i don't remember all of its functions but one important one is the recognition by the group of a change in status. they are no longer single they are married. they have exclusive sexual access to each other.

marriage is cultural with strong ties to the past. because of it's cultural significance it tethers us to each other. so in a culture that is not very cohesive, marriage seems to lose its meaning.

i have noticed that over time our system has changed institutions like this into a shell of it's self. it's common to hear "i'll get married for the tax benefits". i don't think government should be in the marriage business; civil union maybe. there are practical matters like estates and powers of attorney to concider but no more in my opinion.

similarly i think the spirit of holidays has been bastardized over time. it's a reason to shop or get drunk not to come together and reflect. i mena i all for going boozin' and spending dough once in a while but moderation would be nice. holdays aren't holy days anymore is what i guess i'm getting at.

needless to say i do believe in marriage and not in some romantic way. i think it's an important institution.
 

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Don't you have a family who raised you with expectations? My guess is probably not. How dare you judge me for wanting to honor my family. It would probably do you some good to set some standards for yourself seeing as how you were brought up without any.
Touchy, touchy!!
 

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Don't you have a family who raised you with expectations? My guess is probably not. How dare you judge me for wanting to honor my family. It would probably do you some good to set some standards for yourself seeing as how you were brought up without any.
I see nothing wrong with this viewpoint, on the other hand I think some people go along with family tradition and expectations a bit blindly as if to say "my ancestors could do no wrong" when in fact they very well could be as all humans are subject to error since we are not perfect.

It would definitely be a factor for me, but family expectations would never be the only thing I focus on when making a decision about what i do in my life. After all I am my own person, I am not controlled by other people even if they are my family. I take any family expectations as merely suggestions.

Tradition is an enjoyable part of life, but it also prevents the potential weeding of mistakes to be repeated in the future.
 

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I'm kind of ambivalent about marriage. It's definitely not a goal I have for my life. I don't believe in the idea that you should be married by the time you're this age or you should marry someone after you've been with them X amount of years. It really is just a contract to me. The commitment is internal not on some piece of paper, so I feel like going through with marriage is more about the "practical" concerns (like gaining legal benefits and I guess to simplify things for your kids if you plan on having them). Plus knowing a few couples who are only still married to avoid having to go through a messy divorce, I feel like there's something romantic about a couple who's not married and could just walk out on each other at any time with no mess but choose to stay together everyday. I feel like that takes more of an emotional commitment than just staying married to someone. I don't think marriage really brings you closer together, it just makes it harder to leave. I do know for sure that if I ever do get married I absolutely won't have a real wedding, I'd just get a quickie wedding at the courthouse and probably not even tell anybody until after it was done. The concept of spending all that time planning all these tiny details no one cares about and spending tens of thousands of dollars on a party for one day does not appeal to me at all. And it seems like too many women put so much focus on being "bride" for a day that they forget about the whole being "wife" for a lifetime part that comes after.
 

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Errr... guys, may I interrupt? I think it's rather common sense here .....

Isn't the purpose of Marriage is to allow for sex and have children?

Knowing that women have to sacrifice a lot in such relationship... Isn't it fair that a knot is tied? So that one can't just simply run away during a fall in relationship?; and work it out instead?
 
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