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Here Nikki's friend who is INFP talks about his friendship and relationship with Nikki who is INTJ. For instance he sees her as romantically intelligent, etc..

INTJ's from an INFP Perspective
 

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INFPs might be seen as more harmless which INTJ probably prefer--since they don't like people causing a bunch of drama or attacking them all the time, usually. INFPs can also be good listeners, and so the INTJ can feel free to open up to them about anything...including their feelings--once trust is earned.

In my experience, INTJs will put up with things like you described in the video--like lengthy messages or messy thoughts, so long as they sense honesty. I think both INTJ and INFP tend to value honesty a lot, in general.

INTJs dislike manipulation and most INFPs prefer to be authentic, so their preferences dont' conflict there whereas with other types--they might expect the INFP to act entertaining or the INTJ to liven up. Neither INFP nor INTJ tend to push these types of expectations on each other, from my experience--and they value not having to deal with those types of expectations from each other.

INTJ can offer a sense of realism at times--like if the INFP is trying to decide on something, and they are viewing the decision through their subjective values, then the INTJ sometimes helps with offering a more concise, not over-thought summary (?)

A lot of times INTJ will sort of go for the Te decision--the simplest one. Not giving a fuck is a common suggestion, as INFPs tend to give a fuck about things they really shouldn't sometimes (because it's not within their control or it'd be a waste of energy).

ENTJs are similar in that--they help the INFP realize they don't need to bother over other people's issues--and sometimes the most efficient solution is to just say "fuck it."

I don't think INTJ and INFP are a rare match, but since both of them are introverts it might be harder to get together. But again--they both seem to move slowly in that regard, which probably also helps them get used to each other.

I tend to get along with INTJs pretty well so long as they aren't super ideological (or sexist, racist etc.) Though probably the older INTJ are easier to get along with than very young ones, on average. Some very young ones can be kind of pushy and sharp, whereas with age they seem to get more mellow and sure of themselves.

I suspect I am INFP or ENFP. So that's my perspective based on the friendships and acquaintanceships I've had with INTJ and INFP. Most INTJs I've known have told me they are sure I am a Fi type though.

Your video reminds me a bit more of an ENTJ tbh--INTJs Fi comes out more than that, to me. It's their "child" function--and it can be quite active at times. Whereas ENTJ tend to keep it a lot more hidden, like in the video. But could be INTJ tend to let Fi out more around Fi types, because they sense it's safe.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
INFPs might be seen as more harmless which INTJ probably prefer--since they don't like people causing a bunch of drama or attacking them all the time, usually. INFPs can also be good listeners, and so the INTJ can feel free to open up to them about anything...including their feelings--once trust is earned.

In my experience, INTJs will put up with things like you described in the video--like lengthy messages or messy thoughts, so long as they sense honesty. I think both INTJ and INFP tend to value honesty a lot, in general.

INTJs dislike manipulation and most INFPs prefer to be authentic, so their preferences dont' conflict there whereas with other types--they might expect the INFP to act entertaining or the INTJ to liven up. Neither INFP nor INTJ tend to push these types of expectations on each other, from my experience--and they value not having to deal with those types of expectations from each other.

INTJ can offer a sense of realism at times--like if the INFP is trying to decide on something, and they are viewing the decision through their subjective values, then the INTJ sometimes helps with offering a more concise, not over-thought summary (?)

A lot of times INTJ will sort of go for the Te decision--the simplest one. Not giving a fuck is a common suggestion, as INFPs tend to give a fuck about things they really shouldn't sometimes (because it's not within their control or it'd be a waste of energy).

ENTJs are similar in that--they help the INFP realize they don't need to bother over other people's issues--and sometimes the most efficient solution is to just say "fuck it."

I don't think INTJ and INFP are a rare match, but since both of them are introverts it might be harder to get together. But again--they both seem to move slowly in that regard, which probably also helps them get used to each other.

I tend to get along with INTJs pretty well so long as they aren't super ideological (or sexist, racist etc.) Though probably the older INTJ are easier to get along with than very young ones, on average. Some very young ones can be kind of pushy and sharp, whereas with age they seem to get more mellow and sure of themselves.

I suspect I am INFP or ENFP. So that's my perspective based on the friendships and acquaintanceships I've had with INTJ and INFP. Most INTJs I've known have told me they are sure I am a Fi type though.

Your video reminds me a bit more of an ENTJ tbh--INTJs Fi comes out more than that, to me. It's their "child" function--and it can be quite active at times. Whereas ENTJ tend to keep it a lot more hidden, like in the video. But could be INTJ tend to let Fi out more around Fi types, because they sense it's safe.

This is a very thorough and well written summary...and in my mind it makes sense. Thanks for sharing this :D
 

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I'll let you know in a few months LOL

After a wild ride with an ISTP (which was an exciting - but very unhealthy for me "situationship") ended up with an opportunity to break the ice with a INFP I knew IRL. He and I had chatted a few times here and there when we'd run into each other on motorcycle rides in the mountains, but it never turned into anything else until a few weeks ago when he gave me some gas (as I was about out) and I shot him a "thank you" message after getting home - which opened the door and been hanging out since then.

Initial impressions are it may be a decent match - although it might help that as the INTJ, but the woman, and he the INFP, there's probably naturally a little balance to our types to begin with just due to gender influences. He seems a bit more emotional and "head in the clouds" but it's not so drastic that my more grounded approach clashes - more of a balance to both.

We'll see where it goes, I know after my last two dating disasters (emotionally speaking anyways), I'm a bit timid to jump in and admit any real attraction, but thus far, things have been pretty natural and easy - intellectually and mentally it's a huge relief to have someone to really talk to and engage in a good conversation. He is older (about 8 years older than me) and has worked to get his life where he wants it, so I'm sure that's part of it too - he definitely went through a wild and crazy young adult stage for a number of years many moons ago.

Last two guys I dated were both SP's, and I'm fairly certain that's a pretty bad match for me romantically - we just do not process the world the same, and my need for intellectual conversation just doesn't inspire them, and vice versa. Their need for freedom, my need for loyalty - bad clash. Exciting, yes; healthy, no. Both definitely brought out a (bad) side of me I didn't even realize existed...
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I'll let you know in a few months LOL

After a wild ride with an ISTP (which was an exciting - but very unhealthy for me "situationship") ended up with an opportunity to break the ice with a INFP I knew IRL. He and I had chatted a few times here and there when we'd run into each other on motorcycle rides in the mountains, but it never turned into anything else until a few weeks ago when he gave me some gas (as I was about out) and I shot him a "thank you" message after getting home - which opened the door and been hanging out since then.

Initial impressions are it may be a decent match - although it might help that as the INTJ, but the woman, and he the INFP, there's probably naturally a little balance to our types to begin with just due to gender influences. He seems a bit more emotional and "head in the clouds" but it's not so drastic that my more grounded approach clashes - more of a balance to both.

We'll see where it goes, I know after my last two dating disasters (emotionally speaking anyways), I'm a bit timid to jump in and admit any real attraction, but thus far, things have been pretty natural and easy - intellectually and mentally it's a huge relief to have someone to really talk to and engage in a good conversation. He is older (about 8 years older than me) and has worked to get his life where he wants it, so I'm sure that's part of it too - he definitely went through a wild and crazy young adult stage for a number of years many moons ago.

Last two guys I dated were both SP's, and I'm fairly certain that's a pretty bad match for me romantically - we just do not process the world the same, and my need for intellectual conversation just doesn't inspire them, and vice versa. Their need for freedom, my need for loyalty - bad clash. Exciting, yes; healthy, no. Both definitely brought out a (bad) side of me I didn't even realize existed...
Sounds like an interesting connection. I feel kinda excited for you...it's like you're on the verge of a new adventure. Its cool that you can share interesting conversations together, this can sometimes be be a big unifying factor in a relationship (although, I realise that it's more complex than that).

I live in the city....'motorcycle rides in the mountains' sounds surreal. I really like your story. Thanks for sharing.

I wish you all the best with this relationship, I hope it works out positively for you.
 

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I'll let you know in a few months LOL

After a wild ride with an ISTP (which was an exciting - but very unhealthy for me "situationship") ended up with an opportunity to break the ice with a INFP I knew IRL. He and I had chatted a few times here and there when we'd run into each other on motorcycle rides in the mountains, but it never turned into anything else until a few weeks ago when he gave me some gas (as I was about out) and I shot him a "thank you" message after getting home - which opened the door and been hanging out since then.

Initial impressions are it may be a decent match - although it might help that as the INTJ, but the woman, and he the INFP, there's probably naturally a little balance to our types to begin with just due to gender influences. He seems a bit more emotional and "head in the clouds" but it's not so drastic that my more grounded approach clashes - more of a balance to both.

We'll see where it goes, I know after my last two dating disasters (emotionally speaking anyways), I'm a bit timid to jump in and admit any real attraction, but thus far, things have been pretty natural and easy - intellectually and mentally it's a huge relief to have someone to really talk to and engage in a good conversation. He is older (about 8 years older than me) and has worked to get his life where he wants it, so I'm sure that's part of it too - he definitely went through a wild and crazy young adult stage for a number of years many moons ago.

Last two guys I dated were both SP's, and I'm fairly certain that's a pretty bad match for me romantically - we just do not process the world the same, and my need for intellectual conversation just doesn't inspire them, and vice versa. Their need for freedom, my need for loyalty - bad clash. Exciting, yes; healthy, no. Both definitely brought out a (bad) side of me I didn't even realize existed...
Any update on the INFP-INTJ dynamic? If you don't mind sharing of course.
 
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