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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As ENTPs, we always know what to say to get the point across. In certain situations, though, we have the foresight to hold our tongues to avoid making things worse.

It's good because it shows we're maturing and ultimately not digging our own graves, but sometimes we're left wishing we would've said it because it would've been hilarious.

This thread is for those clever one-liners that no one got to hear.



Today my ENTJ dad forced me to go for a drive when I had a million other things to do. Turned into a huge fight, but ultimately, I ended up going. Some excerpts...

(WIS = What I Said, WIAS = What I Almost Said)

Him: Put on some shoes.
WIS: [nothing]
WIAS: These all right with you, komrade? (He's super anti-commie, so he would have lost it.)

Him: You can go in either lane.
WIS: Because both signs say they take the toll pass, right?
WIAS: Oh, this is a reading lesson now, too?

Him: [trying to start friendly chit-chat]
WIS: This isn't gonna be a chit-chat kinda ride.
WIAS: No thanks, I'm not buying any Stockholm Syndrome today.
 

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Sister: I've got a teaching position at Monroe Charter, I chose science but I could have done language arts too.
Aunt: I love language arts, it was one of my strong suits in school.
WIS: Oh congrats
WIAS: Language arts? Didn't you confused fallopian tubes with phillips tubes when you had your hysterectomy?
 

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(Crossing back over the Canadian border after my ESTP and I went to visit a friend in Washington, strung on ADHD meds and running on 3 hrs of sleep)

Officer: And do you have any firearms or deadly weapons?
WIS: ...No ma'am.

WIAS: JUST THESE GUNS *biceps flex*



It actually took a conscious effort to stop myself :S Sad thing is that if I said that, I know my ESTP would've went along with the joke and we'd have both our asses handed to us by border patrol.


 

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Boss: If you have any questions about the project just let me know and I'll help you out!
WIS: ok
WIAS: the day i ask for help from any of you incompetent twats in this incompetent office is the day that i rip my eyelids off and sew them back on AS A NEW SET OF LIPS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
 

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Boss: It's 8:15 now, so you should be able to cover these three 15 minute breaks (each a good quarter mile walk apart) and be down there by 9pm to start your last break.
WIS: Ok. (knowing full well it wasn't going to happen but I didn't feel like arguing with him anymore)
WIAS: Sorry, *boss's name*, but the transporter at the top of *one of my stations* is broken right now. Scotty's been working on it, but he thinks it might be down for the rest of the night.
 
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