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Personally, I don't consider it a date unless there is some explicit understanding between the two parties that sex or at least sexy activities may be part of the plan for that date. Not a guarantee just a possibility.
If you have not intentions whatsoever to commence a physical relationship, then you cannot call it a date or dateing.

What are your thoughts?
 

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To me a real date involves just a chill time either for a walk or to go to the movies are just chill at home and just get to know each other and see where it goes. For a first date it shouldn't be flat out expensive and call me old fashion but sex does not have to be in a first date to be a real date (unless you both want it and trust each other enough, if not cuddling and making out is just fine). Just be yourself and be nice and thoughtful. That's all a person asks for. :)
 

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to me a date is something that meets all of these criteria...

1. they are alone; not socializing in a group. (being surrounded by strangers at a restaurant doesn't count as socializing with a group...their full attention is on each other)

2. they are considering having sex at some point in the future - although it could be the near or distant future - still a date either way

3. it's arranged in advance so that both people have time to get ready (otherwise it's an "impromptu date" not a "date"...not quite the same if the anticipation/prep part is missing)
 

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I think one can generally call a two-person activity a date when both people have more-than-platonic interest in one another. Because there are some people - demisexual, asexual, etc. - who may not go into something with physical/sexual intentions, but may be open to that later, I wouldn't draw the line at the possibility of sex. Some people (me included) may almost definitely not be interested in sex at first, while others may never be interested in sex at all, but all may still be interested in a romantic lifelong relationship. I'd still definitely call a one-on-one planned event with a romantic interest a "date".
 

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That's a very odd definition. Why would sexual activity need to be a part of it? The point of a date is to get to know somebody so that you can determine whether or not you want to peruse a relationship, or once in a relationship as a way to spend time with your significant other. Sexual activity is only tangentially related. What you talk about sounds more like a, "hookup" than a date.
 

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Personally, I don't consider it a date unless there is some explicit understanding between the two parties that sex or at least sexy activities may be part of the plan for that date. Not a guarantee just a possibility.
Personally, I can skip the physical contacts for the few first dates (although I prefer to have it, anyway). I think you don't have to get physical all the time in all your dates with someone; but it has to be considered a normal part of your time together.
As I mentioned in similar threads, if someone needs to just get to know you for a while before doing anything sexy (which isn't my method) then they couldn't call this phase dating.
If you have not intentions whatsoever to commence a physical relationship, then you cannot call it a date or dating.
I totally agree.
It seems that some people want to feel they have someone to "date" and talk about him/her with their friends without really dating this person.
 

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That's a very odd definition. Why would sexual activity need to be a part of it? The point of a date is to get to know somebody so that you can determine whether or not you want to peruse a relationship, or once in a relationship as a way to spend time with your significant other. Sexual activity is only tangentially related. What you talk about sounds more like a, "hookup" than a date.
Yea I agree with that.

if you expect sex after X amount of dates you're just looking to hook up

TallGreen said:
If you have not intentions whatsoever to commence a physical relationship, then you cannot call it a date or dateing.
How are you going to know you have such intentions without getting to know them first
 

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Two people meeting.

Might as well call it a meeting or hang-out or hook-up or fuckfest or randevu or rendezvous (for u fancyminded). What you name this act of social engagement does not matter. English speakers sure like to define, categorize, generalize and make it clear-cut before anything happens. C'mon, chill down with it. What ever happens happens.
 

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As I mentioned in similar threads, if someone needs to just get to know you for a while before doing anything sexy (which isn't my method) then they couldn't call this phase dating.
Why not, though?

RedPanda said:
TallGreen said:
If you have not intentions whatsoever to commence a physical relationship, then you cannot call it a date or dateing.
How are you going to know you have such intentions without getting to know them first
Ditto this. In general, I don't want people to touch me unless I'm comfortable and trusting around them first. I think it's fair to say that dating has to be more than platonic - if two people have no interest in each other, it's just friends or peers hanging out. But I don't think that physical intention has to be crystallized yet.

I feel like dating is usually "trial run of being in a more-than-friends relationship to see if we are compatible". Sometimes it can just be casual more-than-friends seeing each other for the sake of having something more romantic/sexual without a major commitment.

pwowq said:
What you name this act of social engagement does not matter. English speakers sure like to define, categorize, generalize and make it clear-cut before anything happens. C'mon, chill down with it. What ever happens happens.
My brother tends to be a "whatever happens, happens" kind of guy but the lack of boundaries/definitions seems to get him in trouble sometimes when one person thinks it's one thing and the other thinks it's another. I think that's the purpose of naming it. Not just to have it all boxed in a neat definition, just making sure both people are on the same page. You can do that without labels, too, of course, and arguably that would be preferable. But a term can be a helpful shortcut...
 

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When the interactions are merely friendly without anything sexual/romantic, why should it be called a date?
I wasn't talking about platonic-friendship interaction only - I was talking about romantic interaction without sexual/physical intention. I agree that "more than friends" is a requirement, otherwise it's just friends hanging out. Or peers being awkward. Lol. :)
 

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For me a date is a hangout containing romantic inclinations and curiosity to see if there's potential for a partnership, it's like a job interview but fun, if you know what I mean. You're getting to know the candidate and they're getting to know you, to see if you are compatible to build something with substance later on.

I don't go on dates for pure fun or cause I have nothing else to do; I always have something else to do. I go only if I'm interested in exploring who this person is and if we're compatible for a future serious monogamous relationship. I don't accept a date for any other reason than "fun romantic job interview". Sex has nothing to do with it beyond the fact that I need to check if the person and I have chemistry/find each other bangable, and also over time you end up talking about sex casually (turn-ons, turn-offs, past experiences, etc) and by the things they say I can tell whether we will be compatible sexually or not.

But I know that each person has their own definition, so...
 
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Personally, I don't consider it a date unless there is some explicit understanding between the two parties that sex or at least sexy activities may be part of the plan for that date. Not a guarantee just a possibility.
If you have not intentions whatsoever to commence a physical relationship, then you cannot call it a date or dateing.

What are your thoughts?
I agree in general though I think there are exceptions. Like strangers meeting dates or in the case of asexual people. But yeah, dates to me suggest the possibility of sexy activities.
 

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I've always wondered about this, I mean it's possible one person thinks something is a date and the other doesn't.

Put another way: If a guy and a girl go out to wherever (assuming they both are attracted to the opposite sex) as "friends", what would you call that? It's kind of open to interpretation, so unless it's actually discussed or has already been established outside the "date" whether it's platonic or romantic... there's no way to really know what it is.
 
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