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I wanted to start this thread to help others and myself with overcoming obstacles that are keeping us from doing what we really want to do or what we really should be doing. I know I have goals for myself and it seems like things just keep getting in the way of those goals and I just put my dreams and desires on hold until "the conditions are right." for example, I want to start eating better and exersizing but I have like 7 room mates we all share the same living room and kitchen and bathroom and I share a little 10x10 bedroom with my boyfriend we have very little room and our kitchen and living room are a total mess (to the point where to cook anything I'd have to clear away a bunch of garbage and other messy dishes and stuff, the sink smells so bad because my roommate cooks and refuses to do his dishes). Now, if I really wanted to, I could clean the kitchen myself and try to make some space in the living room but my ego doesn't want to have to clean up after other people, so I end up defeating myself and just saying, "I'll just wait until I move out and then start a new lifestyle." I think it's important to realize how we are really our own biggest obstacles so rant out in which ways you are holding yourself back and I think that just by seeing it written out and connecting with eachother we can get past the stuff we believe is holding us back. Any helpful encouraging quotes and thoughts, personal expirences, ect. are most welcome :)
 

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Currently I should be in class, or at least be working on labs and upcoming exams. In the long run should have at least a part time job to supplement my tuition. Healthwise- be fit..because there's no excuse for it.

What is getting in the way? Laziness and the addiction to comfort. I would boil like a lobster mentally, in the juice of shame and regret, but I would not do what's necessary to be where I want to be.

Yes, I live certain things until "conditions are perfect", maybe that's why I come up with excuses about why I'm not doing what I'm suppose(d?) to be doing..

I'm disgusted at myself but parasitic enough to thrive in this self-toxicated environment :dry:
 

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"I'll just wait until I move out and then start a new lifestyle."
I've been in your situation before and this is pretty much what I told myself too. I eventually reached a compromise with my messy roommates by setting a cleaning day and have everyone cleaning the house together.

Any helpful encouraging quotes and thoughts, personal expirences, ect. are most welcome :)
You have 7 other roommates so it's going to be difficult but what I would suggest is on a Saturday, you and your boyfriend start cleaning the place up. People should follow your example and help by joining in the cleaning event. If no one joins to help you then simply clean up the spaces you and your boyfriend use and leave the rest alone.
 

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I have learnt that perseverance is the key to success.
For example, I have been looking for a job for quite awhile, but I refused to give up, I was planning to send in at least 100 applications every month until I found a job. But before I even applied for the 3rd job, I have already gotten a job :)
The universe has probably picked up on my determination and has decided to give me a job as my reward :D
On the other hand, whenever I feel discouraged and feel like giving up, the universe decided not to send a job my way. I think having a positive mindset is very important when it comes to achieving our goals.


And my current goal is to set up my own business, but the only thing that is forming an obstacle to this goal of mine is the money issues. The monthly rental fees are very costly. But I refused to give up though! I am planning to work for a few years and save up money and then eventually set up my own business. And another obstacle that prevents this goal of mine from coming true is my family are naysaysers and I know they are gonna nag me a lot and try to stop me, so I am planning to keep all my goals to myself and I will only reveal everything after I have successfully set up my own business a few years later :)
If my business plan fails, then I am gonna save up money for a few years and try again a few years later.
Let's just say I am a stubborn person. When I have a goal, I refused to give up on my goals until it manifests into reality.
I will keep trying and trying again until I eventually succeed.
When you give up, you have 0% of succeeding. But if you persist, you have at least 0.1% chance of succeeding.
And this shall be my motto in life :kitteh:
 

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I find that I'm generally the "thing" that gets in my way the most.
For example, recently I've been dealing with a crush I have on a straight friend of mine (I'm gay) and I know that I should really just get over myself and stop thinking about him. What I do instead is just...think of him the entire time and looking for reasons why he could still be into me.
The thing that's getting in my way is that I lack self-control, I tend to get really lost in something I feel passionate about and then start to completely act on it, which more often than not leads to unpleasant results.

That being said though, I do know the way for me to become a better person is to practice self-control, so there's that.
 

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Great thread! Your post, especially the bit about the roommates, reminds me of a Humans of New York post from a while back, where the guy in the picture says:

"People like to make exceptions of themselves. They hold other people to moral codes that they aren't willing to follow themselves. For example, people tend to think that if they tell a lie, it's because it was absolutely necessary. But if someone else tells a lie, it means they're dishonest. So never make an exception of yourself. If you're a thief, don't complain about being robbed."

I find that as humans, our thoughts and our actions contradict one another and we are unable to stick with our decisions. We want to eat healthy but we're busy with school/work so we're going to wait until the summer vacation or until things slow down. Or we want to start saving money (for retirement or for travelling) but we have difficulty setting aside money because we NEED to buy certain things. Our sense of need and want are so warped that we genuinely trick our minds into thinking that what we want is a necessity.

I want to be a writer in the near future and I'm about to begin my third year in professional writing and social communication studies. I've been told--by classmates, professors, friends and family--that I am a good writer and that I should stick with my decision to become a writer. Unfortunately, I don't believe in my writing abilities as much as they do. I keep thinking that there are so many other aspiring writers out there and I fail to see what makes my writing stand out amidst everyone else. My lack of self-confidence and belief in my abilities is hindering my opportunities to gain employment after school. I've been approached by a few writers asking if I were interested in writing for a playwright's circle or for NGOs, and I've lost every opportunity because my fear of letting people down and my lack of conviction in my writing abilities got in the way.

I know INFJs are known for being too hard on themselves and shying away from praise, but at some point, I'm going to have to let that go and realize my potential as a writer.
 

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I'm not in school at the moment and have no intention of going to college; I have no job and am not interested in being hired anywhere; I have no one to take care of other than myself. There isn't anything that I "need" to do, but I want to travel to the point that it does feel like a necessity. I plan on staying somewhat off the grid, living on the streets and getting around by hopping trains and hitchhiking. However, I can't leave until after my court date (I broke into an abandoned house in the name of urban exploration, didn't cause any damage). Aside from that, I'm petrified. I've lived in this place my whole life, and as much as I need to get out, I have little experience with the world beyond. At the very least, I'd like to travel with someone else, but I have no friends who are willing or able to do such a thing. So essentially, my fear is stopping me.
 
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Discussion Starter #8
My lack of self-confidence and belief in my abilities is hindering my opportunities to gain employment after school. I've been approached by a few writers asking if I were interested in writing for a playwright's circle or for NGOs, and I've lost every opportunity because my fear of letting people down and my lack of conviction in my writing abilities got in the way.

I know INFJs are known for being too hard on themselves and shying away from praise, but at some point, I'm going to have to let that go and realize my potential as a writer.
Oh my gosh you totally hit the nail on the head! Ever since I was in middle/highschool I have been practicing self defeating behaviors, like I never joined any clubs that I was interested in like drama because I was afraid that I would never get a part because of how the other kids had already been in it longer than me and they were probably better so I just never tried. At the time I blamed it on how cliquey the drama kids were like that was what was keeping me from joining but as I got older I was able to identify that it was me submitting to my fears that kept me from doing the things I wanted and I totally regret that, and am working on improving myself presently in that reguard. I'm really glad we're all here to share our expirences with eachother, thanks everyone for the support, sharing of expirences and positivity :) I really hope you focus on your writing I can tell just by reading your post that you definitely have talent :)
 

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Discussion Starter #9
I'm not in school at the moment and have no intention of going to college; I have no job and am not interested in being hired anywhere; I have no one to take care of other than myself. There isn't anything that I "need" to do, but I want to travel to the point that it does feel like a necessity. I plan on staying somewhat off the grid, living on the streets and getting around by hopping trains and hitchhiking. However, I can't leave until after my court date (I broke into an abandoned house in the name of urban exploration, didn't cause any damage). Aside from that, I'm petrified. I've lived in this place my whole life, and as much as I need to get out, I have little experience with the world beyond. At the very least, I'd like to travel with someone else, but I have no friends who are willing or able to do such a thing. So essentially, my fear is stopping me.
Wow! I have had similar desires in my own life I was planning to spend 1,000 dollars that I had saved up on camping equipment and just travel around and live outside all the time and just journal do photography and play guitar...I wound up spending that money on rent when I moved in with my now boyfriend 2 years ago. It would be ideal for you to have a travel companion it is definitely safer being with another person but hey, who knows? Maybe in your travels you will end up meeting someone along the way who you would like to travel with! Going alone is a legitimate fear to have but I guess you just have to decide if doing what you love outweighs potential risk of danger?
 

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Um what is getting in my way? Only money. I just need money. If I could just somehow get start up money ,I would be able to go about fulfilling my purpose of saving the world. I hate the concept of money, but unfortunately the world revolves around money.
 

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I'm not in school at the moment and have no intention of going to college; I have no job and am not interested in being hired anywhere; I have no one to take care of other than myself. There isn't anything that I "need" to do, but I want to travel to the point that it does feel like a necessity. I plan on staying somewhat off the grid, living on the streets and getting around by hopping trains and hitchhiking. However, I can't leave until after my court date (I broke into an abandoned house in the name of urban exploration, didn't cause any damage). Aside from that, I'm petrified. I've lived in this place my whole life, and as much as I need to get out, I have little experience with the world beyond. At the very least, I'd like to travel with someone else, but I have no friends who are willing or able to do such a thing. So essentially, my fear is stopping me.
I was in a similar situation . I bought a plane ticket to Thailand with nothing more than 700 dollars in my pocket despite the fact I have never been out of the North American Continent , didn't speak Thai and never traveled without my parents . I just packed my shit and didn't tell anyone. Everything was fun until I ran out of money and starved for days and had no where to live. I was sitting on a curb sick as a dog, pretty much dying and I sensed a presence. I looked up and 3 faceless silhouettes with the sun behind them stood before me and asked if I was ok in English. I thought I was delirious and hallucinating because they were speaking English(Thais are proud of their language and aren't very good at English compared to other countries). I ignored it and accepted death at this point. They asked again so I replied to the sillouettes saying I was hungry and couldn't remember the last time I ate.They dragged me back to their home and fed me and I passed out. I woke up totally confused in someone's home, feeling better.Apparently, they were a a Filipino Church group. They gave me medicine and more food over a course of a week.I ended up finding a job teaching English at a High school and meeting some very good people. I fought in underground bare knuckle Muay Thai boxing matches despite the fact I had no martial arts experience haha. I got my ass kicked some times, but I kicked the shit out some people. One was a cop lol. I helped children learn a language that will help them in the world. Fell in love, but the language barrier was too much . I spectated Loy Krathong , probably the most beautiful human event that have ever experienced with the sky lanterns occupying the night sky and the lotus candles floating down the Chao Praya river. .I ended up having to come back because of visa complications,The experience I had was nothing less than enlightening. I left home a boy(21 years old) and within a measly 4 months, returned a man. It has made me stronger and I learned many things that couldn't possibly be taught in a classroom. I appreciate the things in life that I took for granted in the U.S .Do what you want, but you must realize reality. Us INFJs get caught up in our fantasies .Don't expect something like what you want to do to be easy. It will be very tough. Sometimes you will probably think you are going to die. You have to consider things such as , food,liquids,winter,illness(it happens),malicious people,injury and other stuff. How will you deal with these without a source of income? Living off the land? Begging? Follow your dreams man, don't let anyone get in your way. Sooner or later you will regret committing to it. It isn't the fears that make a person, but the courage and bravery to overcome those fears is what defines who we truly are.
 
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