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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm in such a strange mood tonight. Reflective and upset and just a bunch of feelings that really don't make sense.

I have a lump in my throat and I feel as though I could burst into tears at any moment, but I don't know why.

My life has been going so well. I'm being blessed with luck and good fortune, but generally, I've been unhappy. There's something missing in my life. I don't have that zest and passion that I had for so long anymore.

I go to work and put on an amazing facade of happiness, but on my breaks, I sit in my car, alone with my thoughts. Sometimes it's relaxing and sometimes it's torture. I think about how I want my life to be and how hard it has been getting to that point. I'm nowhere near my goal.

I'm so lonely it's incredible, and yet I'm surrounded by such amazing family, friends and coworkers. I don't understand it. *Insert tears here, now* One of the worst feelings is being in a group of people and deep down, feeling like you're alone. God, I'm being such a baby.What is wrong with me!?

If a friend were to come to me with these feelings, I'd ask them straight if they were depressed. I am not depressed. I cherish my life, I have so many things going for me and so many people who love me but as selfish as it is to say, it's not enough. I want more. I want a connection with someone, I want to be able to come home and have someone hug me. I miss closeness...I miss being able to use my sense of touch lovingly so bloody much, it's insane.

Sitting next to someone, feeling their warmth radiating outwards and wanting to just shout out at them to really see me, and not being able to, is the worst feeling. But I'm strong, I have to move past it. I will read this again, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week and shake my head at myself but right now, this is me and this is how I feel.

I am so looking forward to the day where I can stare my future in the eyes and feel so utterly content and at peace with life. I've felt it briefly in the past, but it faded. It's the one thing I'm truly looking forward to.

I'm babbling. I'll stop. :frustrating:
 

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*hug* .
 

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I think you need a boyfriend.
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I don't NEED a boyfriend, but having one around wouldn't be so bad lol :blushed:
and yeah, I read this today after some sleep and lunch and think "jeeze, melissa, you're a pathetic case" lol. I apologize for subjecting anyone who reads this to that. My bad.
 

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~

I don't NEED a boyfriend, but having one around wouldn't be so bad lol :blushed:
and yeah, I read this today after some sleep and lunch and think "jeeze, melissa, you're a pathetic case" lol. I apologize for subjecting anyone who reads this to that. My bad.
This sounds just like something my friend would say to me after getting a lot of necessary emotions off her chest (she's also an ENFJ). We, us ENFJ's, generally don't like to let our emotions get to others so we keep all these things bottled up until it burst on us when we are alone without anyone to help us out, and then we have to find someway to stop it or we'll go insane. If we talk to someone we feel bad because we don't want to burden them or we think our problems aren't as bad as the problems the other person has.

But as far as I can see here, you don't have to worry because most of us (if not all of us) have felt the same way at sometime or another. I don't know if this will help but these songs always makes me feel better when I have those emotions built up:






~EBD
 

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It's okay to say, never feel embarrassed about how you feel or who is subject to it. On a forum full of people, we choose to read what you say and answer. And you're not in this by yourself. =)

Perhaps you'll think of having stepped back and reflected upon yourself as a step closer towards the goal you're working to. An actual, honest-to-god step forward. You will take your life in a step forward that was different and more beneficial than before. Some of the best successes in life aren't material. =)

I wish I had more insightful things to say, but I hope it's worth much more than how it sounds. *hug* =)
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
This sounds just like something my friend would say to me after getting a lot of necessary emotions off her chest (she's also an ENFJ). We, us ENFJ's, generally don't like to let our emotions get to others so we keep all these things bottled up until it burst on us when we are alone without anyone to help us out, and then we have to find someway to stop it or we'll go insane. If we talk to someone we feel bad because we don't want to burden them or we think our problems aren't as bad as the problems the other person has.

But as far as I can see here, you don't have to worry because most of us (if not all of us) have felt the same way at sometime or another. I don't know if this will help but these songs always makes me feel better when I have those emotions built up:

YouTube - Crossfade - Colors

YouTube - hoobastank- crawling in the dark




~EBD
I'm only on a dinner break at work right now so I'll give those songs a listen when I get home later!
I generally do have people who I can talk to about the things that were on my mind last night, but when THEY'RE the ones I'm thinking about, it just makes me look needy and silly, so I guess forums are my place to talk haha. You're all amazing :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
It's okay to say, never feel embarrassed about how you feel or who is subject to it. On a forum full of people, we choose to read what you say and answer. And you're not in this by yourself. =)

Perhaps you'll think of having stepped back and reflected upon yourself as a step closer towards the goal you're working to. An actual, honest-to-god step forward. You will take your life in a step forward that was different and more beneficial than before. Some of the best successes in life aren't material. =)

I wish I had more insightful things to say, but I hope it's worth much more than how it sounds. *hug* =)

This makes me feel a bit better.
I know absolutely none of you in real life, yet I felt bad for busting out all that emotional mess on the people who read it haha. So many people in here make this forum a welcome place for everyone. I love it.
Your words are worth a lot. Like I said, I don't know you, but you taking the time to even reply to my thread is awesome. So thank you :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I can't imagine what it's like for you. I just can't imagine how hard it must be.

Here is a hug for you!

*hug*
My life is a breeze in comparrison to the peoples' lives in impoverished places. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. And when I do complain, I feel selfish. Just need to learn how to take everything for what it is.

You're just full of hugs too! haha! Thank you!!! :D
 

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My life is a breeze in comparrison to the peoples' lives in impoverished places. I have absolutely nothing to complain about. And when I do complain, I feel selfish. Just need to learn how to take everything for what it is.

You're just full of hugs too! haha! Thank you!!! :D
I am glad that you are seeing things this way :) Keep it up!

Yea, I wear my feelings on my sleeves :blushed: I am very expressive when it comes to showing my feelings :crazy:
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Maybe you need something newer and more authentic in your life. I always question if something feels ''off'' and not authentic enough..But I'm not sure about your entire situation though..I'm an introvert :unsure: But anyway, perhaps reading this can give you some inspiration

On Fearing Change: When It's Time to Take a Leap of Faith | Tiny Buddha
Thank you for that link, izze :happy:

I definitely think I need change in my life, in whatever form it comes in. I'm starting a new position at work on tuesday, so maybe that will bring me some needed change! With during that new position, comes me having more time during the day to go to the gym and get active again. Lord knows I need it haha. I remember being SO spunky and peppy when I was working out regularly! Hopefully I'll get my abundance of energy back :laughing:

I also think it's awesome that you venture our of your own forum and post in here! My ex is an INFP (he's the one that introduced me to PC) and he rarely ventures out of the discussions in there haha. I think he could learn a few things if he popped his head in a few other places on this site lol.
 

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ENFJ's, generally don't like to let our emotions get to others so we keep all these things bottled up until it burst on us when we are alone without anyone to help us out, and then we have to find someway to stop it or we'll go insane. If we talk to someone we feel bad because we don't want to burden them or we think our problems aren't as bad as the problems the other person has.
I posted a blog on such an occasion and then the next day I read it back to myself and thought how pathetic and over the top it sounded. I was quite embarrassed. I like that I am not the only one who does this kind of thing or has these 'episodes'. :happy:
 

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I'm in such a strange mood tonight. Reflective and upset and just a bunch of feelings that really don't make sense.

I have a lump in my throat and I feel as though I could burst into tears at any moment, but I don't know why.

My life has been going so well. I'm being blessed with luck and good fortune, but generally, I've been unhappy. There's something missing in my life. I don't have that zest and passion that I had for so long anymore.

I go to work and put on an amazing facade of happiness, but on my breaks, I sit in my car, alone with my thoughts. Sometimes it's relaxing and sometimes it's torture. I think about how I want my life to be and how hard it has been getting to that point. I'm nowhere near my goal.

I'm so lonely it's incredible, and yet I'm surrounded by such amazing family, friends and coworkers. I don't understand it. *Insert tears here, now* One of the worst feelings is being in a group of people and deep down, feeling like you're alone. God, I'm being such a baby.What is wrong with me!?

If a friend were to come to me with these feelings, I'd ask them straight if they were depressed. I am not depressed. I cherish my life, I have so many things going for me and so many people who love me but as selfish as it is to say, it's not enough. I want more. I want a connection with someone, I want to be able to come home and have someone hug me. I miss closeness...I miss being able to use my sense of touch lovingly so bloody much, it's insane.

Sitting next to someone, feeling their warmth radiating outwards and wanting to just shout out at them to really see me, and not being able to, is the worst feeling. But I'm strong, I have to move past it. I will read this again, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week and shake my head at myself but right now, this is me and this is how I feel.

I am so looking forward to the day where I can stare my future in the eyes and feel so utterly content and at peace with life. I've felt it briefly in the past, but it faded. It's the one thing I'm truly looking forward to.

I'm babbling. I'll stop. :frustrating:
The beauty of Extroverted Feeling is that you can become a social chameleon, it adapts
to different people and accommodates them. ENFJs make others feel accepted and appreciated
but sometimes this is at the cost of not listening to their own needs. An ENFJ can get so
busy accommodating others socially that, in a way, others don't see who they really are
only the persona they are wearing and overtime an ENFJ can feel that others only are seeing the persona
and not the deeper person behind it. An ENFJ I knew was always very happy, but,
as an INFP, I wanted to know the deeper dimension of her being. What surprised me
is that she told me once that when she is by herself with her thoughts she often feels
very sad.

The reason being is that loneliness isn't necessarily cured by company or the number
of people surrounding a person -BUT ONLY BY HAVING SOMEONE SEE US FOR WHO WE TRULY ARE- to
hear us out without judgment with all our flaws that make us human.

Perhaps this is why INFPs have an innate distrust when an ENFJ says they care about them because
Extroverted Feeling accommodates and INFPs value authenticity. There is this
line from this song called "Say Something" by James which goes, "Amongst friends but
all alone." I wonder how many ENFJs can relate to that?

Oh ENFJs, if you would only let your personas down for us INFPs more often. :0)
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
The beauty of Extroverted Feeling is that you can become a social chameleon, it adapts
to different people and accommodates them. ENFJs make others feel accepted and appreciated
but sometimes this is at the cost of not listening to their own needs. An ENFJ can get so
busy accommodating others socially that, in a way, others don't see who they really are
only the persona they are wearing and overtime an ENFJ can feel that others only are seeing the persona
and not the deeper person behind it. An ENFJ I knew was always very happy, but,
as an INFP, I wanted to know the deeper dimension of her being. What surprised me
is that she told me once that when she is by herself with her thoughts she often feels
very sad.

The reason being is that loneliness isn't necessarily cured by company or the number
of people surrounding a person -BUT ONLY BY HAVING SOMEONE SEE US FOR WHO WE TRULY ARE- to
hear us out without judgment with all our flaws that make us human.

Perhaps this is why INFPs have an innate distrust when an ENFJ says they care about them because
Extroverted Feeling accommodates and INFPs value authenticity. There is this
line from this song called "Say Something" by James which goes, "Amongst friends but
all alone." I wonder how many ENFJs can relate to that?

Oh ENFJs, if you would only let your personas down for us INFPs more often. :0)
All of this is 100% true when it comes to me.
There are only 2 or 3 people in my life who really do see me for ME, which is why I feel so lonely sometimes. I feel like I'm just screaming out to people to see me, but they can't pick up on that. It's hard.

I've opened up to an INFP in the past. Our relationship was like a fairytale for a while, but like most relationships, it fizzled. It hurt for a long time letting go of someone who I felt really knew me. We parted ways for a while and ended up coming back to each other, not as a couple, but as friends who really do love each other and feel safe with one another. It still hurts sometimes because while I AM Melissa with him, I'm not the Melissa I used to be with him. There's that friend line that I'm behind. Regardless, I'm so thankful that I have him. I still feel like he's one of the few who really knows me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
*Hug* Hope you feel better soon Timely. Maybe if you take me to a Canucks game that will make you feel better :wink:
Today is a whole other storm ball of stress. Good lord, I can`t get a break these days.
Thank you, though. I appreciate it. Come on up here, then. We`ll go! :happy:
 
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