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Of all the Enneatypes, we, on some level, may be the ones who most need to answer to this. Is "human" what you're trying to be? To resemble? What happens when you give up your calculations, your magna opera, and the feelings that come with the work paying off?

Are we trying? If so, why? What's in the fear of failing such greatness we're aiming for? Why are we trying to be human? What is human, guys?
 

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MOTM Dec 2011
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I feel like I have been exploring this mentally as the crux of, well, everything in life.
Astute of you to connect this to the 4 fixation - no wonder we grow attached to our flaws as our identity. So very human.

From a religious standpoint, these ideas of humans being sinful because of a willful disconnect from God is always something which resonated with me. And the idea of wholeness being a reconciliation with the creative force of the universe... I've always associated the urge to create for its own sake as a reflection of God, the ultimate proof humans are in his image & not "just animals" but with an overriding spiritual nature that bridges the gulf between earth and heaven. And then a savior who makes the ultimate sacrifice for something so flawed, and even as they kick their feet at him, viewing and treating them with the deepest compassion as something extremely valuable - what a 4 fantasy!
 

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I don't always view myself as particularly human. This might be arrogant, but I feel like I'm something else. Of course I'm human, but I just feel like I sometimes just operate on a completely different level. And the fact that, because of my 5 fix and my sp instinct, I "train" myself to not have very strong needs. I don't sleep, I don't eat, I'm not addicted to anything or anyone. I try to be very self-sufficient and independent. I don't fit into any archetypes, identities or stereotypes, I don't follow the social norm.

It's like I exist outside all the usual human parameters. But I always try to connect with my human side because that's when I'm the most grounded. The less human I am, the less contact I have with reality and other people. Being human helps me to form bonds with other people, to have an emotional, psychological and physiological bond with myself, the people around me and the my environment. And it helps me be vulnerable, authentic and real. The less human I am, the more I become this image of a person the 4w3 in me is tempted to project. The more human I am, the more authentic I am, and my need to project an image is weaker.
 

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Had an 'ah ha!' moment today, it managed to bundle up a lot of ideas I have, ways that I think. I realized that I judge as to whether someone is human or not. It's a very 4 conceit and it's supremely arrogant. And I'm not sure I'm willing to give it up.

I was thinking about the people I most like to associate myself with, they are always people that I at some level feel as being equal. I was trying to decide what it was that qualified them, and I realized it's whether they are willing to suffer. If they are, then they are human, if not then they are animals. And when I say that they are animals, I'm not using the word derisively, exactly. I love animals, even when they bite you and shit on the carpet, but you can't really judge them for it, because they are just doing, they are being what they are. They deserve your compassion.

Now, humans, in my mind, are characterized by being able to go against instinct, being able to choose to engage in suffering. I know my 4 is showing, but I always thought there was something divine in that, to know something hurts and to go through it instead of away from it. People who understand what suffering is and can choose to endure it for a greater goal, to me, are human. Some people are quite content to weather an unsatisfying existence for an eternity for fear of undergoing the pain of change. Some circle their desires forever, looking for an easy in, when achievement lies in crawling through the thorny thicket. In my mind I picture it as spark that strives, the energy that takes shape into meaning.

I'm not claiming that the solution to every problem requires pain. But, I did used to think that at one time; in my mind there was a direct connection between suffering and accomplishment. Even though I've corrected the harshness of my views, almost ironically by my involvement in martial arts, in my mind it represents the closest thing to freewill that I can conceive.

And while I am claiming that truly living as human requires bold action, the boldness is relative. There's a reason that people relate to epic stories even though for the most part, people's lives are very small. No matter how small your problems are, they take on epic proportions in your mind. The courage required to go outside, for some individuals, is the same courage to go into a burning building. And to act on those when needed makes you a better person.

In my darkest days, the best I could do with my life is to make sure I brush my teeth before I went to bed. Being able to do this allowed me to remain human.

And then I believe that if you find a person who has and always fans that spark, they will always change the world for the better. Recognized or unrecognized. EDIT: Sounds like a childish thing, but too bad. na na na-na-na!
 
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