What Is It EXACTLY That Attracts You INTJs to ENFPs?
[INTJ]
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Nothing.
I am not particularly attracted to them.
I am not particularly attracted to them.
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I lived with one. It drove me to the brink of madness. He suffered from depression...so I am guessing that if you took a whole heap of the negative traits of ENFP and maximized them then you would probably have my ex.
The constant reassurance needed, the manipulations, the infidelity, the lack of understanding outside of himself....my lack of space. These are things that I have foremost in my mind to avoid
So while there is an attraction because of all the fluffy that is entailed....and ENFPs are really assuring and lovely.....I have seen the dark side and would probably be extremely cautious once I find out what their type is.
The constant reassurance needed, the manipulations, the infidelity, the lack of understanding outside of himself....my lack of space. These are things that I have foremost in my mind to avoid
So while there is an attraction because of all the fluffy that is entailed....and ENFPs are really assuring and lovely.....I have seen the dark side and would probably be extremely cautious once I find out what their type is.
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I don't think I've ever met, so I can't say...
I haven't met one and just by browsing their forum, don't think I'd be interested, I think I want/need more of my own type. I strongly relate to my own ilk. I attract/seem to be a magnet for (NF's) for whatever reason, but something always goes awry. I'm too brash, I'd probably end up killing an NF of any type.
I like their spontaneity, their randomness, their innate ability to make me loosen up (which very, very few people can do). I like how they don't seem, for the most part, especially put off by my INTJness but rather are fascinated by it. I like how they are so puzzling and intriguing. They are in that sense a magnetic force that always pulls me to them whether it's for friendship, a brief acquaintanceship, or a random conversation with a stranger. But at the same time, I also need them to be able to mute their ENFP over-the-topness when I'm tired or need to think. (In which case either shut up or help me process my thoughts rationally). This is similar to how I imagine most ENFPs likewise appreciate it when INTJs can mute their more eccentric behaviors when they go to a party or are having a conversation that would be very emotionally charged for an F. Some ENFPs are great at muting their more (in my eyes) exhausting behaviors when the situation demands. Those are the ENFPs with whom I would pursue friendship or a romantic partnership. Those who can't, as great as they may be, are never around me very long before I feel the desire to get away. And as you know, when an INTJ wants to disappear, they are better at vanishing than a magician's assistant. :wink:
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Speaking from my limited experience, I believe that one of the main draws for many INTJs (particularly those on online forums) is the theoretical synergy between the two as well as the ENFP's natural charisma which has been consistently found to be charming to most any type. With that said, most INTJs take a very hard-nosed and long-term approach to love, creating a very ellaborate mental checklist to help plan for various contingencies. While the ENFP's whimsy and sponteneity may initially seem endearing, the INTJ's mind invariably shifts to practical long-term planning. Any number of faults (even legitimate ones) may drive us back into our heads to hold out for the theoretically perfect match (even if such a perfect match does not really exist).
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I think I'm a very outgoing INxJ and have dated two ENFP's. I like them for their randomness, carelessness, open, and genuine qualities. They are really fun to be around in small doses. I think after awhile they can get a bit needy and moody but if you love them its just something you have to accept. They also are hard to plan dates with since they are usually caught up with like 10 different things at once and can sometimes make you feel unimportant if they blow you off. Mostly though their intentions are good but if they become unhealthy you may have to keep a closer eye on them. Very prone to cheating...
But if I could snag another one who seemed healthy and mature, I would in a heartbeat. :happy:
Oh, the sex is also great. :crazy:
But if I could snag another one who seemed healthy and mature, I would in a heartbeat. :happy:
Oh, the sex is also great. :crazy:
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Nothing. They're like hyperactive puppies; I can find them cute or intriguing or interesting to be around, but wouldn't want anything permanent with one.
They make really good friends, but long-term romantic relationships are pretty much out of the question.
They make really good friends, but long-term romantic relationships are pretty much out of the question.
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ENFPs are (to me) hard work, unfortunately the difficulty level increase through time; the more you do to please the more is expected and little is given in return barring aggrivation and drama. Such a shame as the chemistry is often very strong. It isn't a path that interests me these days. I prefer my peace and quiet and simple trust and friendship; the ENFPs that I know live for complication and extreme non-linear behaviour.
I don't find anything attractive about ENFPs. The ones I know IRL are among the most annoying people in my social circle. The hugging, the giggling, the random silliness and constant pandering for attention.... I try to stay as far way from them as possible.
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Judging from these replies, I'm glad I've worked on being less emotional (never been hyper; also borderline Introverted), haha.
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^ These, Quoted For Truth. I'm getting divorced because of all of those negative traits.
Any immature and/or unhealthy ENFP betta stay the f*ck away from me. I'll not only see but smell you coming, too. I can even feel your thoughts before you say them. I know all your dirty tricks. Watch yo'self! >:0
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Damn! I thought you two were really happy!
I'll help you bust skulls grrrr.....
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I have to admit, I was delusional. I can accept my own accountability in that regard. People had thoroughly warned me, too! XD
I'll try to not let it make me bitter toward ENFP in general, though. It's still fun to laugh and be silly with them. Within the very instant that one tries to make it romantic, however, I'll immediately stop laughing as I make headway for the nearest exit.
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are you sure you are not all being presumptious by thinking enfp's are cheaters? we might be a bit mad but we do have morals. i for one have never cheated on my boyfriend and i can say hand on heart that i never would. do you actually have proof of cheating?
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She said it was all those traits... not necessarily just cheating.
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I don't see all of us mentioning cheating as being a main factor in our wariness of ENFPs.
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Yes... everyone has their own set of morals... Immature and/or unhealthy ENFPs (not the mature and/or healthy ENFPs) are the category who are at issue for me. This particular one has a set of morals which directly conflict with my own. Our value systems cannot be reconciled or consolidated. We honestly tried. It honestly did not work. There is a phrase about the definition of madness as the condition of doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. There are things I refuse to change about myself, aspects of my identity which would be corrupted if I were to condone his unhealthy behaviors, harmful outlets of my loyal and protective nature which would backfire as they would be a threat to his own freedom to express his own identity, to be who he chooses and wants to be.
You, I love, (in INTJ terms, "respect") for being faithful in all the ways that you and your significant other have agreed to be faithful to one another. Not everyone is so disciplined. Not everyone is so honest. Not everyone is so openly communicative. So long as you both understand what the definition of cheating is, what it entails, what leads to it, what it leads to and what the consequences are for your relationship, great. Good for you.
<3
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