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What is it that causes 5's to withdraw?

8341 Views 32 Replies 28 Participants Last post by  L, 
G
So I know it's a trait... but of what cause?

I'm trying to get over it and more embrace my 4 dom. I don't mind all theother 5 stuff but this is just annoying... getting all anxious and shrivelling up away from the moment... it just aint livin' I tell ya... it just aint livin'! :shocked::unsure::rolleyes:

Lets figure this shit out?
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M
If I knew, I'd probably obsess over it and make it worse. I'd rather look at what exists in my other traits that can counter the effect.
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L
mariogreymist said:
If I knew, I'd probably obsess over it and make it worse. I'd rather look at what exists in my other traits that can counter the effect.
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This is what I do too. Thinking about how introverted and hermitlike I am just makes me depressed. :unsure:
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F
What sort of a cause do you want to figure out? The reasoning behind it? The motivation?
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gallimaufry said:
So I know it's a trait... but of what cause?

I'm trying to get over it and more embrace my 4 dom. I don't mind all theother 5 stuff but this is just annoying... getting all anxious and shrivelling up away from the moment... it just aint livin' I tell ya... it just aint livin'! :shocked::unsure::rolleyes:

Lets figure this shit out?
Click to expand...
Well, if you want the enneagram answer it's basically a mix of feeling like you might be incapable of dealing with the external world and that the external world might tax you more than you think you can be taxed - like it will make a demand on you that you can't meet. It's the mistaken notion that we're separate from that world.

Having said that, I wouldn't say I have much social anxiety at this point in my life and I'm wondering if that's more what you're talking about. I'm withdrawn and I spend a lot of time alone, but I also do things in my life. I'm a pretty active person but a lot of times I like to do that activity on a solitary basis or with a close friend/partner/family member. I spend a lot of time at home in my "castle" but I spend that time doing activities I enjoy and I don't feel like I'm missing out on the outside world.

In my opinion, there's nothing wrong with being withdrawn and wanting a lot of alone time so long as you're comfortable with it and maintaining some relationships. I used to think I should be more social or have more friends but I'm happy with the few I have and I don't have trouble being social when I do go out (which isn't very often). If you're feeling like you're not participating in your life though, that's another issue. It sounds like you feel there's things you should be doing/be able to do that you can't. While anxiety will never fully go away (and it shouldn't, it definitely has it's purpose), there are a lot of things you can do to help deal with it and overcome it when it might be holding you back.
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J
For me, it really depends.
Sometimes because I need time to think something over. I don't think that's a bad thing. It might be annoying to others, but I'd rather consider all the options and facts and make a really good decision than make a quick decision before I have the information I need and then end up regretting it later.
Sometimes because I'm bored. I retreat into my thought-world sometimes just because it's more stimulating to me than what's going on around me.
Sometimes to prevent being drained and stiffled. If I'm around people who are emotional vampires, I need a break away from them because I don't have an endless amount of energy and I don't think it's fair that they are demanding all of my energy and attention anyway. That's not my job.
Sometimes just for the sake of freedom. I tend to have interests that are different from most people and want time to think on and do things that I like that I feel I can't do with other people.
Sometimes for objectivity. Taking breaks from always being engaged can cause a healthy dettachment so you can be more objective and have a broader perspective, to see the big picture rather than getting sucked into something and becoming narrow-minded.
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C
I withdraw under these circumstances, more or less:
-if I'm overwhelmed by too many demands, stimulation, or responsibilities;
-if after careful and thorough deliberation, I find an individual is manipulative or just outright overly selfish and self-absorbed (will be a drain on my energy resources and will not do anything to help his/her lot by getting over him/herself);
-if my reaching out and thus taking initiative is met with non-reciprocation;
-if, quite simply, I've found an interest/passion that I really want to delve into, then it's likely you won't hear from me much because I'm tucked away in my own little, wonderful world, tinkering about with my new discoveries.
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E
Don't discount the fact that retreating just simply allows for a peaceful and serene environment. The world is a very noisy and chaotic place and I need a place to go and get away from it all. It doesn't have to be disfunctional to retreat. It's hard to read, learn, analyze, think, or just relax in the middle of the busy noise of the world.

Nervousness and anxiety - that's a different topic entirely.
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gallimaufry said:
So I know it's a trait... but of what cause?
I'm trying to get over it and more embrace my 4 dom. I don't mind all theother 5 stuff but this is just annoying... getting all anxious and shrivelling up away from the moment... it just aint livin' I tell ya... it just aint livin'! :shocked::unsure::rolleyes:
Lets figure this shit out?
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the five withdraws from the world because they are confused, scared and don't know what to do. they are perpetually like the kid watching from the sidelines while the other kids play because he doesn't know what to do or how everything works
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N
Depends. Sometimes it's because the world is too busy and moving too much. Other times it's because I have some emotional crap to deal with.

Or for me on a number of occasions it's like... snatching a bit of information from the feeding frenzy, finding it pretty, wander off to a corner alone and look it over and be amazed by its complexity and start tearing it apart to see how it works. And after I find how it works I show it off... maybe.

Or... boredom. The place in my head can be far more entertaining and interesting than reality.

Or solving a problem......... or really getting interesting and intrigued in something. I know I turn into a complete hermit who eats once a day and never sees sunlight for weeks if I am dead focused on something.

mmm yeah. There's many reasons.



Swordsman of Mana said:
the five withdraws from the world because they are confused, scared and don't know what to do. they are perpetually like the kid watching from the sidelines while the other kids play because he doesn't know what to do or how everything works
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I was that kid! haha.
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Mizmar
Swordsman of Mana said:
the five withdraws from the world because they are confused, scared and don't know what to do. they are perpetually like the kid watching from the sidelines while the other kids play because he doesn't know what to do or how everything works
Click to expand...
That's a really good metaphor. I've often felt like I was studying some alien species, trying to understand their society, with its confusing behavior, rituals, and rules; or alternatively I've felt like I was the alien.

Reasons I withdraw:
- to better understand things
- to amuse myself with my thoughts
- to prevent total overwhelm
- as a rejection of a society which I often find completely alienating
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Mountainshepherd
Swordsman of Mana said:
the five withdraws from the world because they are confused, scared and don't know what to do. they are perpetually like the kid watching from the sidelines while the other kids play because he doesn't know what to do or how everything works
Click to expand...
Only those who are afraid of fear are afraid to examine what scares them. It is only by stopping what you are doing that you can realize what you are doing. Only when you stop can your wake catch up to you, and only then when it settles upon you can you feel your own impact on the world. Most people fear being wrong, in many ways a 5 fears being right about things that others view as wrong. It is not the world I fear but its insistence on ignorance.
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lightened
i am certain that this isn't the cause, some theory.
environmental factors played a role, how i was nurtured. etc.

i withdraw for pleasure and displeasure. when i need to think, i won't speak to anyone, i tell the peope i value i need some time, for myself.

i am not grouped with other "5's," i am my own person.
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O
I would have to agree a lot with what has been said. I stay at the side lines to be able to analyse the situation fully before putting forth my input. It is also a thing of being uncomfortable & unsure of myself + how others will react. It is the unknowing of how people will react since people are not as predictable as other things in the world. Which makes them interesting, but frustrating since I can't fully know how things will end up.
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Rather Unusual
I find people to be ruthlessly demanding and intrusive. All this unspoken social lore that we're expected to just know and not question. It's exhausting and overwhelming. I understand how it works but I struggle to rise to people's expectations without exerting myself to the point of defeat. I do what needs to be done in order to maintain a certain amount of peace and acceptance but that's it. The rest is bullshit.

My withdrawal more or less equates to "Fuck off and leave me alone. I'll do it myself."
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VivianeScrooge
Mizmar said:
That's a really good metaphor. I've often felt like I was studying some alien species, trying to understand their society, with its confusing behavior, rituals, and rules; or alternatively I've felt like I was the alien.

Reasons I withdraw:
- to better understand things
- to amuse myself with my thoughts
- to prevent total overwhelm
- as a rejection of a society which I often find completely alienating
Click to expand...

I agree, this is what I felt most of the time. Sometimes I wonder whether I hit my head when I was a child, why am I the only one that didn't get the information about da rules and regulations? For years I think I was socially inept(even though people seems to like me), and how I'm way behind my other classmates. I always empathize with physically challenge people or the underdogs, I know how it feels to be out of sync from people around you. How shameful it is.

I wanted to get out of my head, but I literally cant. I think the reason for 5's withdrawal, other than what have stated above, is its comfortable. Its safe.
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S
People overwhelm me..
I love my privacy.
I love being in my own little world.
I learn best on my own. -_-
I trust myself more than most other people.
The stuff I like is weird to most other people.
Habit? o.o
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V
What does a 5 who withdraws but has an obligation to stay at work/school look like? In body language? Speech?
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The most usual reason for me to withdraw is emotional tumult. It's either I'm in that stage of the month where the world turns "red" and thus I go hormonal, or I'm physically,mentally and psychologically worn from spending much of my energy on a certain task (I do get rather emotional in the aftermath).
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Vexed said:
What does a 5 who withdraws but has an obligation to stay at work/school look like? In body language? Speech?
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I shall give my personal perspective on this as I can't speak for all Type 5's. So here goes:
-My friends or mum would tell me I look standoffish, a snob, unapproachable. I'm withdrawn and easily get irritated.
-Body language: Slow in movement, poker-face, spacing out while donning the infamous death-stare look, flat affect
-Speech: more softly spoken than usual, monotonous responses, flat intonation
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