How do you act in relationships (romantic)? Assume you do not live with your SO. How often do you initiate contact when you are feeling stressed?
This is, of course, operating under the assumption that a 5 knows what she is feeling in the first place?
- Deep stress often manifests in the form of fevers, pimples, hair loss, and immobility; and lasts for long periods. It is not always easy to recognize. I need time, creative space, and isolation to sort this one out.
- Shallow stress usually comes from feeling overwhelmed by external demands (like, I need to go grocery shopping, go to the bank, finish this paper, call this person back, answer this email). I have a go-to conquering device for this stressor: make a list, start doing the things, and cross them off as I go. If I feel too overwhelmed to start, I exercise while blasting heavy music in headphones. This pumps up my determination to conquer the list.
- In both cases, I have no interest in seeking out company. In case #1 it's a private matter. In case #2, I need time to get stuff done so that I will feel less stressed. However, I will shyly admit that it tickles my romantic fancy if a friend is concerned enough to figure out that I'm stressed, and ask what is bothering me; calm me down, or offer to help. 99% of the time I decline company or help, but I appreciate the sentiment deeply. If the friend truly cares, it helps build trust, and leads to a more likely scenario where, if there is ever a romantic relationship with that person, I'd feel comfortable enough to open up about such stressors, rather than shut him out.
- I *like* it when someone comes to me with their stressors and trusts me (as long as it's not intrusive, like constant phone calls over minor things while knowing I'm very busy). If I know the other person trusts me, it is more likely that I'll eventually feel okay about opening up, too; I will feel less afraid of being a burden.
Edit: For some reason, I open up very easily about past stressors that I've already somewhat resolved, but I almost never reveal current stressors. Maybe because I haven't sorted them into communicable words yet? Or maybe because it induces vulnerability?