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There are times I feel if I were to be single for the rest of my life, it wouldn't be much of an issue for me. And it's not that I spurn relationships, they're just more of a non-issue for me now, and have been for a good portion of my life. While everyone else around me is seemingly hopping from relationship to relationship (or bed to bed, in a few cases...), it's the least of my concerns.

At one time, they were the only things on my mind. There was external pressure to find a girlfriend, lose my virginity, and the curiosity I had. After finding these things, though, the interest almost completely faded overnight. And it's not that I'm asexual; far from it, just ask any of my exes. I masturbate daily, even under heavy medication, and think of sharing my bed with another at times, but apparently not enough to go out there and find someone.

So there is passion and drive, but something obviously lacking, else I wouldn't have made a thread on something bothering me. It wasn't long ago that I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt, and while the thoughts of ending it all have long since disappeared, the subject of life and death has been on my mind now more than ever. There's now a seething frustration beneath this cold, expressionless exterior (they see a small, quiet, and strange kid), almost like trying to solve a puzzle with no clue how it works.

I just know those moments spent with friends, family, and co-workers have become that more important to me, whereas before they meant little to nothing. Could this be a part of the dreaded "quarter life crisis"? It seems most of my friends are also experiencing similar issues...
 

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Welcome to "growing up".
Im going to have to disagree. The OP shows symptoms of severe depression, lack of interest in all human relationships and a recent suicide attempt.
 

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I would suggest that following your suicidal thoughts, you probably need time to rebuild yourself before giving yourself to someone else. It could be a self protection means and possibly even the correct one at this point in your life. Temporarily.

However if in your twenties you seriously begin to utterly avoid all adult intimacy in favor of masturbation, that isn't a healthy long term solution, though it may be good to come to grips with your self in the short term, alone.
 

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I would suggest that following your suicidal thoughts, you probably need time to rebuild yourself before giving yourself to someone else. It could be a self protection means and possibly even the correct one at this point in your life. Temporarily.

However if in your twenties you seriously begin to utterly avoid all adult intimacy in favor of masturbation, that isn't a healthy long term solution, though it may be good to come to grips with your self in the short term, alone.
I wouldn't say intimacy and masturbation are related, per se, since the numbers are more-or-less in the average range for my age group and used for a stress release, primarily. I'll admit to having issues connecting with others, though, and this is something that's been a problem since childhood (feeling more like a spectator when spending time with other kids, distancing myself from friends suddenly and seemingly without reason). It's gotten a lot worse surrounding the suicide attempt, with even my closest supporters having trouble reaching me, and that's a scary thought.

Anyway, it doesn't make sense to enter a serious relationship when you can barely take care of yourself, something I learned the hard way with my exes. So would you say depression is the main reason I've been thinking less of relationships recently? Because before, while they weren't a priority, they weren't unwelcome, either.
 
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Some people aren't relationship hoppers. l mean, l'm not sure if you're separating the struggle you've had with mental health with your dating style or not.

Growing up l saw most of the adults in my life go from relationship to relationship or marriage, even...l remember thinking then that something was already wrong with me and l knew l never wanted to do that. The landscape is changing a bit now and people don't really seem to be serial dating for the sake of it.

l'm glad because l never would have been able to keep up with that, although l still feel odd when l completely lack the drive. l've pretty much ended up in relationships by accident and this seems fine to me. l think the issue is that when l stop socializing, l no longer ''just meet'' people so then things really do start to slow down.

Your depression symptoms are probably partially to blame, but l wouldn't be overly concerned with the social pressure.
 

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Some people aren't relationship hoppers.
And some people just aren't into relationships. Period.

To the OP...
There's nothing wrong with choosing not to pair off - either temporarily or permanently. It's entirely possible that you're still recovering from your depression. If that's the case you'll start thinking more about a relationship when you're ready. Or you just might be one of those people who doesn't want/need to be in a relationship. Either way, don't feel pressured to do anything you don't want to do.

I would be more concerned with staying connected to your support network than worrying about romance - especially if you're not really interested in pursuing a relationship right now.
 

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One cannot expect blunt honesty anymore initially .. even in speed dating. However, it would be so much more damn efficient if all things were thrown out in open.

"Sorry, you don't complete me. Next."

Than to let a relationship drag on to nowhere, the flame lost, and the agony of breaking away will be like tearing apart velcro; except, it's not velcro, but a stitched up scar not fully healed and the skin is exposed such that the cavity is expelling this repulsive foul smell, because it's what kind of odor reaks on the inside of living tissue but in relationship form.
 

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There are times I feel if I were to be single for the rest of my life, it wouldn't be much of an issue for me. And it's not that I spurn relationships, they're just more of a non-issue for me now, and have been for a good portion of my life. While everyone else around me is seemingly hopping from relationship to relationship (or bed to bed, in a few cases...), it's the least of my concerns.

At one time, they were the only things on my mind. There was external pressure to find a girlfriend, lose my virginity, and the curiosity I had. After finding these things, though, the interest almost completely faded overnight. And it's not that I'm asexual; far from it, just ask any of my exes. I masturbate daily, even under heavy medication, and think of sharing my bed with another at times, but apparently not enough to go out there and find someone.

So there is passion and drive, but something obviously lacking, else I wouldn't have made a thread on something bothering me. It wasn't long ago that I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt, and while the thoughts of ending it all have long since disappeared, the subject of life and death has been on my mind now more than ever. There's now a seething frustration beneath this cold, expressionless exterior (they see a small, quiet, and strange kid), almost like trying to solve a puzzle with no clue how it works.

I just know those moments spent with friends, family, and co-workers have become that more important to me, whereas before they meant little to nothing. Could this be a part of the dreaded "quarter life crisis"? It seems most of my friends are also experiencing similar issues...
hmm. well, you seem to be comparing yourself to other people. that's probably not a good idea. your life is your life how you want it, or at least if not how you want it, how you get it. if you are happy with yourself, then by all means, forgo relationship. but think of ahead in life, who wants to be alone and lonely and helpless as they grow old. friendship is important. you seem to be wanting to connect with your friends and family so that is good. i am glad you made it past your suicide attempt. i hope you are feeling better.
 
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