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What is love?

[INTP] 
3K views 38 replies 21 participants last post by  merlin89 
#1 ·
Hi INTPs,
I've some questions about this.
People say that we have this feeling when we find someone who's 'special' and of similar mindset. I've read and heard that we find something unique in this person, which you do not see in others. I don't understand this part, because I see some or the other unique talent among the one or two friends I've. And about similar mindset, I think my mindset is quite similar with the other ENFPs. Does that mean that I love my friends or I'm in love with them? Can anyone you please define the exact meaning of the word 'love'? Is it some kind of natural attraction? Why do this happen and when?

Your replies will be appreciated. :)
 
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#3 ·
Thanks for the reply and can you please provide with some more examples ..? That will clear it more.
 
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#4 ·
I like unique persons, People that have quirky habbits or hobbies, I like seeing a personality that is slightly unknown but yet you still find it extremely fascinating, you know they have been thru something hard in their life and have over come it, it may of been what has turned them quirky and different to the majority of people, But it was how they coped and moved on with it, it was their way to get thru it.

But obviously it has to be more than just unique and quirky. but i haven't questioned enough to know exactly what i find attractive about them
 
#5 ·
The best way I can describe it is simple. Love is not directly related to sex. My greatest love affair is platonic and incredibly fulfilling. Yes, I'm a man and she's a woman, but it's been this way for almost a decade. Who knows what will happen in the future actually.

Begin rant:
Most love these days is construed as a scientific reaction to locating a perfect "match" biologically. Naturally, we're drawn to specific traits to mate with and produce offspring, and the feeling of "love" in this sense lasts as long as it takes the mother to bear child and a little longer while the mother nurses. 18 months.

True love is tricky... I'll put it this way: We all have secrets. That one big secret of our lives. Your true love is the only person who can find it, while you sit back and allow them to find it, sometimes hoping they do. That's a type of comfort only two people in true love could understand. I think "platonic" plays a great deal into knowing what love is because it's not marred by sex and jealousy.
 
#6 ·
Hm, so love is a form of extreme friendship between a male and a female? Then what's the difference between romance and love? Is sex is the ultimate way of showing the love for the other person?
 
#10 ·
I know we tend to know a lot of things, but the love department is fairly elusive to most of us. Either way, I'll try my best to answer this.

love in terms of an older ENFP family member: When you find a special person that makes you feel all mushy inside. This person makes your feel complete and you always want to spend the majority of your time with said person. He/she appeals to your desire of receiving a lot of affection with or without being physically attractive (due to the notion that "love is blind"). *this is formed through my observations of her in relationships*

love in my terms (warning: I have absolutely no experience with this so I may be wrong): When you find someone who contributes to your growth, and you do the same for them. He/she appeals to your emotions and mind (i.e. this person creates a deep connection in terms of feelings for one another, and being on the same "wavelength"). You trust this individual enough to reveal your true self, which in turn, leads to that genuine connection. And even when the original feelings of giddiness dissipate, you are still attracted to him/her because a friendship has already been formed, and you take interest in his/her qualities.

Well that's it for now. This definition is subject to expansion or alteration, but for now, this will suffice.
 
#13 ·
Love Is... Comic Strip on GoComics.com

I remember buying bubble gum (for 3 santims one) in 90s that had a note with this comic. Had no idea what was written there then. Well.. it is kind of lame, but answers your question more times than you asked for ;]
Oh, look, I found a site with proof! History | Love is...
 
#15 ·
Love is simply an emotional reaction you feel toward someone as far as a connection is concerned. For people who have grown up in a Christian household, they were most likely taught that in Greek, love actually was split into 3 different words. Sexual, family love, and undying love. Essentially, the last one was where you would be willing to give up your life for the other person. Love is but an emotion. I am under the impression any couple can be compatible if they both are willing enough to compromise what needs to be compromised. The problem these days is simply pride.

Of course, finding a more compatible partner always makes the job easier. If you feel sexual attraction, that is love. If you feel intimacy or closeness, that is love. If you feel so strongly you would do anything for them: That is love. Love is not all powerful and it is not some magical entity that keeps a couple together for the rest of eternity. It is just an emotion.
 
#16 ·
Thank you for the replies INTPs. From what I've read above, I've come to an inference that love is a way for showing affection. It has many forms,it depends on the people for whom you feel. (Like family love, friendly love, etc) But for me as a female, sex is also a form of showing love or ultimate affection. If you talk about prostitutes, then that makes a different issue.Does it actually depends on the individual that in which way does he/she thinks of sex? Romance only happens between a male and a female isn't?
 
#18 ·
Does it actually depends on the individual that in which way does he/she thinks of sex? Romance only happens between a male and a female isn't?
Eh?
Are you asking if romance == sex? One example of love is lust so I suppose you could say sex with a prostitute could be considered 'love' of sorts. The whole point of a prostitute would be a way to alleviate the tension if you know what I mean, so a few minutes or so of 'love' (if you want to stick to Greek definitions) would exist.
 
#24 ·
1 Corinthians 13:1-13 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
 
#30 ·
don't hurt me
 
#36 ·
It makes me sad that the word love has been used so much that it has lost its meaning... at least in my mind it has.

I just got done reading some books by scott peck where he tackles the differences between types of love and I like his explinations... one that I remember (may be inaccurate) is that actual love is just when one person is willing to extend themselves for someone elses benefit.

by extend I mean to offer something... time, resoures, attention, effort, etc.

I see this in the difference between good leaders and bad leaders. a bad leader cares about the objective and will use his team to accomplish a goal at the expense of the people he is in control over, a good leader cares directly for his people and acts to help them directly... the goal is accomplished because the team is working well with their leader.

I would say that most people alive (including myself) do not actually love oher people... not consistantly anyway... because extending yourself sucks... there is no guarentee that the gesture will be welcome or there will ever be confirmation of the deed one way or another. also, you are giving something of yourself...


is this thinking too idealistic or simplistic?
 
#37 ·
After many attempts to refine this idea through the precise posting of the actual video, here:

 
#39 ·
What is love?
Crying dove?
Deadly sorrow,
for late lover?
For tomorrow,
of roses cover?
Beating of the heart,
not letting the fart?
Feeling of the living,
Getting and the giving?
Jealousy or hate?
Destiny and fate?
Do i know? Do I care?
I havn´t paid the fare.
 
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