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Main Questions

1. What drives you in life? What do you look for?
I look for people that are genuine. I am driven to help people and to prove to myself that I can achieve the things that I want to and be the person that I want to be.
Love drives me.. looking for love mainly.

2. What do you hope to accomplish in your life?
I want to be a wrinkly old lady that regrets nothing and is completely happy with the way that things went. I want to find someone that will love me as much as I will love them. If someone loved me the way that I can love, I'm sure the universe would implode. :p

3. What do you hope to avoid doing or being? What values are important to you?
I don't want to be like my Mum- lazy and emotionally ruined.. I don't want to be like my Dad- controlling and manipulative.
I want to be a god Mother. I want to achieve things in my life too though.. there's so much I need to do and so little time. I'm only 17 and I feel as though I'm supposed to be better and have achieved more than I have.


4. What are your biggest fears (not including phobias)? Why?
Marrying somebody who doesn't love me. This is probably because this is what my Dad did to my Mum and I don't want to end up the same way. I'm afraid of failing in life.. never getting a well paying job, etc.

5. How do you want others to see you? How do you see yourself?
I see myself in a very grim light. Sometimes I hate myself, sometimes I become too proud. I'm sure each individual has a different perception of me.. I change to suit my environment.

6. What makes you feel your best? What makes you feel your worst?
I feel my best when I am writing a new song that I feel has potential. I think I would feel my best if I found somebody that created a relationship with me that was perfect... although I think I need to lower my standards and learn to work through problems in relationships rather than freaking out and thinking it will never work...
Nature vrs Nurture right.. is all of this caused by my parents relationship, or who I am?
I feel my worst when someone criticizes my work, or tells me to shut up. I have to feel belittled. Although usually I am my own hardest judge.


7. Describe how you experience each of: a) anger; b) shame; c) anxiety.

a) uncontrollable. I become quite fierce.. I use my words like weapons and I'm good at it, although I usually feel guilty afterwards.
b) depressed. If I do something I am ashamed of I usually brutally bring myself down in my head.
c) heart beats fast, hot flushes, shaking.

8. Describe how you respond to each of: a) stress; b) unexpected change; c) conflict.
a) I start to over think everything. Make things more complicated than they need to be.
b) I try to embrace it.
c) I either think it's stupid, or if I'm involved, I can get very fired up, especially if I feel especially strongly about my point.

9. Describe your orientation to: a) authority; b) power. How do you respond to these?
a) I see the need for it. Sometimes I question those in power though and think they should be doing a better job.. Sometimes at school (I'm in year 12) I question the teachers methods in my head. I do my best to respect authority, but I hate being controlled and I hate feeling as though I have unequal rights to those that are in power.
b) I usually question those in power. Especially their motives..

10. What is your overall outlook on life and humanity?
WAY too much to say here..
So many variables.
I don't know where to begin. It's just very broad and upon minded as I am aware of how little my mind can grasp and I should not try and put full stops on things that I don't understand or haven't experienced.
 
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