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I read that type 4's often cultivate a 'fantasy self.'

What is your most idealized self image?

Mine would be someone who is very independent in many spheres of her life. As well as someone who lives most courageously with her values and differences. I would be a woman of strength, integrity and character. I would be cold during tough times, but would always swim ahead to find the peace, love, unique significance in every bigger picture.

I know I will eventually achieve that :)
 

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How are you doing getting there? It can be so hard, as I've noticed, so give it all you got. Steadily. heh My fantasy self... Someone who has control over his emotions and can level out internalizations instead of being transformed by them so much. It's like every day is different til I reach a plateau. Then after a week maybe, it crumbles. Doubts have had more control over me than I have. So...many...identity crises... I'm only 20, dammit :crying: lol... :crying:
 

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I guess I want to be seen as stable, responsible, warm and gentle. But at the same time I want to be seen as complex and un-boring. I want people to see my emotional chaos, but at the same time I want them to see me as a neutral, calm person who can handle all sorts of tasks responsibly. And most important of all, I want to be seen as a person who's completely self-less. I do take care of my own needs, but not if it means I have to be inconvenient to others.
 

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For the sake of making people (read: my dad) happy (read: shut up), my fantasy self would be kind and compassionate, able to emphathize and comfort easily other people, would never in a million years act selfishly, would always be thinking of another person, but not be a complete doormat, somehow, would have a strong sense of pride and belive in the idea of hard work.
Mostly, I would be my sister.

Nowthe fantasy self I actually want would simply not have SAD. That's it. That is all I want.
 

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Strong, respected, inspirational, mysterious, outspoken, beautiful, proud with who I am, fatal attraction (like edward from twilight)
loved, sweet, playing the piano or violin like a master, having some kind of wierd gift, magical, spiritual, excellent drawing and painting skills.....or........ just living a happy life and trying to make the best of it.
 
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My fantasy self is all-loving and all-forgiving, while still being independent and strong, never letting anything stop her from achieving what she wants and becoming a selfless, happy person.
 

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My fantasy self is all-loving and all-forgiving, while still being independent and strong, never letting anything stop her from achieving what she wants and becoming a selfless, happy person.
So you want to become a 9...interesting...I want to become more like a 4 ^^;....being selfless is such a burden sometimes.
 

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So you want to become a 9...interesting...I want to become more like a 4 ^^;....being selfless is such a burden sometimes.
Actually 2 of my best friends are 9's and my idealized ex-boyfriend/best friend was a 9!
 

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Actually 2 of my best friends are 9's and my idealized ex-boyfriend/best friend was a 9!
I have the feeling you already are a wonderful person :). I wish I could connect to my passion as well as 4s can, it takes courage.
 

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I have the feeling you already are a wonderful person :). I wish I could connect to my passion as well as 4s can, it takes courage.
Aw, thank you, @Anarchy!:) I do have my vicious moments, though:p
 

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I've been wanting to sit down and think about this for a while. I'd like to be more self-sufficient - someone strong who commands respect, someone who looks people in the eyes and isn't afraid to speak his mind. I like giving people a piece of my mind and standing up for others/myself. Basically I want to become more like an 8, but still with a big, open heart. I think I've long been unconsciously working towards this and may already be this way on the outside a lot of the time. I may seem very independent in a lot of ways to people who know me, but I am still a sexual Four, so... inside I'm unfortunately hopelessly devoted to and obsessed with finding that missing piece and have LOTS of trouble remaining stable and seeing the point in struggling to play the losing game of life on my own.
 

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I want to be the kind of person who doesn't have fantasy versions of myself [and so many other things and people].
 

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I want to be this sophisticated, worldly, mysterious chick with an awesome sense of style. I want to have a couple EXTREMELY close friends who I would die for. I want to be caring, a tad more selfless, independent, strong, and happy.
 

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My fantasy self...

In addition to having my core personality, I want to be someone who is actually very professional in the scientific fields, as well as be popular, , confident, responsible, and widely accepted. I want to get rid of all my insecurities as well.
 

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Someone who can move on from the past and isn't constantly plagued by overpowering emotion.
Someone who people don't ignore and forget (unfortunately that's exactly what I am).
 

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It varies.
I don't idealize a self image nemore though.


I used to idealize myself on being different/ more aware/more intelligent/attractive/capable of anything i put my mind to.

i still feel that way though. but i don't idealize myself. i believe we all have something to offer from within.. just a lot of us are cut off from our well of insight.
 

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How are you doing getting there? It can be so hard, as I've noticed, so give it all you got. Steadily. heh My fantasy self... Someone who has control over his emotions and can level out internalizations instead of being transformed by them so much. It's like every day is different til I reach a plateau. Then after a week maybe, it crumbles. Doubts have had more control over me than I have. So...many...identity crises... I'm only 20, dammit :crying: lol... :crying:
Hey man I'm a 22 year old INFJ, and I can definitely relate to having crisis of the identity. I feel like I'm solving that problem just by making a yes and no list. I list things that I say yes to and things that I say no to from clothing brands, foods, behaviors from friends, cars, interests. Saying no, I think, is far more effective at carving out your identity than saying yes. Peace and much love to you fellow
 

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@John Oge I get that. Bought a note pad one day and I'm non-stop scribbling in it things to remember. My thoughts are prone to going missing without being scripted. So how does your list serve its purpose in helping you, dude?
 

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I want to be creative, most importantly I want this to be in the sense where I give an original and insightful view on the emotional states of people.

I must be a perfect lover, in sync with them, able to make them laugh as well as touch them deeply and understand their darkest and most vulnerable secrets and love them for them.

I would be much more intelligent, mentally quicker, then I might be less hopeless in arguments and be capable of learning far more than I sadly seem to be.

I would be more laid-back, but only in the sense that I would not want to be bothered by people's comments as much, I would never want to give up being able to feel strongly, in fact my ideal self would feel even more strongly so that my perspective on matters of the heart could be more deep and complex than anyone else's.

There are far too many things to list... Though it's safe to say that I value being happy with myself, and intimates being happy with who I am as a person, than with measures of success or the ability to lead others.
 
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