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What is your motivation for finding a spouse/special someone?

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What is your motivation for finding that special someone? So, when you get this person in your life, then what? I've been doing a lot of deep thinking about this lately, and I'm beginning to realize that many of the things that I like in someone, I like because they are in some way addressing wounds from my past. I love nice girls who are warm because I didn't get much of that growing up. I want that connection with someone because I didn't get much of it growing up. I'm definitely not alone in this. I look to a girlfriend and eventually spouse to basically make me feel good. When all of that is taken away, why would I look for a girlfriend? When all the feelings fade away in marriage, what am I left with?

What I've come up with is that it's simply about the person. Not what they do for me or how they make me feel, but the person. Loving and appreciating the person is the end goal. That, and doing life with them.

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I want someone to inspire me to be a better person. But I don't think this needs to be just one person, and it applies to friends, family, colleagues, even strangers...
I don't quite understand your question. I guess both.

Though one can argue that ENFJ can find something inspiring in anyone, I do find that when interacting with some people, it is quite energy consuming, patience exhausting... While with some other people, I feel so inspired that I can be motivated/happy for very long time. There are certain people I like to lean on for suggestions, sharing deep thoughts...

I sought for these people, and I found some. I am very fortunate to find such one that I am also romantically connected to. I can't really tell what is special about him that separates him from the rest of them I regarded as friends. Maybe he is more clingy, in a good way... so my Fe picked it up and a special bond formed. Maybe all the stars lined up perfectly that day...
Is that what you strive for when interacting with people? Or just something you hope to find?
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