What is your motivation for finding that special someone? So, when you get this person in your life, then what? I've been doing a lot of deep thinking about this lately, and I'm beginning to realize that many of the things that I like in someone, I like because they are in some way addressing wounds from my past. I love nice girls who are warm because I didn't get much of that growing up. I want that connection with someone because I didn't get much of it growing up. I'm definitely not alone in this. I look to a girlfriend and eventually spouse to basically make me feel good. When all of that is taken away, why would I look for a girlfriend? When all the feelings fade away in marriage, what am I left with?
What I've come up with is that it's simply about the person. Not what they do for me or how they make me feel, but the person. Loving and appreciating the person is the end goal. That, and doing life with them.