Very beautifully writtenI know...I'm making a fool of myself right now
But sexual 7w6 makes so much sense! Anyway, I know it's quite jarring and inconsistent from an outside perspective to keep track of all my changes, but I fooled myself thinking that as an INFP, I couldn't be anything other than FOUR, NINE or maybe SIX, but I was wrong. Beside that, sexual SEVENs, especially introverted ones, can easily mistype themselves as a FOUR because of their penchant towards romanticism and spiritual outlook. I re-read Beatrice Chestnut's segment about sexual SEVENS and if really described me more than the other three subtypes of FOUR. Also, I do prefer being plain and being without identity than deprived of any intellectual stimulation. I'm really uncomfortable with negativity and while I can be sad and experience strong emotions, I get over it pretty quickly and move on to something else. I loathe being trapped in boring situations even if they are deep and wholesome at times. The FOUR part is still here, but not as dominant as I thought it was. I remember my earliest childhood memories being very talkative and expressive myself. Then, around five, my father started to be cold and oppressive toward me and I developped an imaginary world as a way to escape his stern presence. I preferred my own fantasies to the dreary and monotonous days I've spent in suburban neighborhood. I wanted to have limitless freedom which I couldn't find the real world so I retracted in my FIVE line I suppose. I remember walking down the snowy street in early december and be absolutely amazed at the christmas lights or being completely enamored with my crushes in in my late teens, dreaming of a somputous and sensuous neverending love. I am addicted to love. Give me a beautiful speech or bring me to a romantic evening and I will fall for it. I want to experience things to its highest degree and be dazzled by grand gestures. But, experiencing pain or sadness? I don't think so. I want this courteous dance to go on forever and melt into my partner's arms.
Ah, don't worry about it! We're all just trying to figure ourselves out on here, in one way or another!