What kind of people have liked you, romantically?

so far this is making me laugh, and not in a bad way. i can kind of see the potential in everyone's horror stories (they all seem very stereotypical, but i guess it's possible).

man, i know a few intj's and we get along great. i read somewhere that infp's and intj's make great friends... or was it my intj friend who researched that... the latter seems a little more realistic.

but, i've never gotten the "scary intj" vibe. the only "scary vibes" i get are from ESTJ's/ENTJ's, but even then i have to put scary in " "s because it's kind of an act. every intj i've ever met has been very sweet in an awkward sort of way, which i find appealing (to me it shows a lack of egotism), then once you get to know them they always have a weird, off beat sense of humor that i love.

and intj girls have to be the cutest thing ( and i don't mean that in an "awwweeeeeeee, look at her" way, more like i know how hard it is for some intj's to be out going so when i see one trying, specially a girl, i make sure to tone down the intense staring that i do sometimes, and try to meet them half way with their own.... energy? like social energy, not mystical stuff lol).

anyhow, i am rambling my ass off, let me get to the point. just curious, do any of you think infp's and intj's could ever have a healthy relationship? or a "stimulated one"? considering that both are healthy? oh, and keep in mind that not every infp is needy and irrational, just as not every intj is a cold, heartless, planner. :happy:

Hello,

I'm INFJ and my partner is (supposedly) INTJ. He doesn't believe in personality tests, so he doesn't take one, no matter how I ask

I personally fell for him most of all because of similar interests about ethical, philosophical etc. issues (that are very important for us both).
I think one reason for NF:s to fall for INTJ:s could be feeling of security. This has been important to me personally... And probably this will make you feel us too clinging. I think INTJ can give strong feeling of security for person s/he cares about, since s/he probably is basically more stable and less emotional.

Problematic parts on the relationship has been right these feeling things. In the beginning of the relationship for example my INTJ partner was caring and all, but it disappears on the long run... I think it's not natural for him to be showing affection all the time... INTJ can feel very cold and harsh without even recognizing it himself.
I personally have been able to overcome this since I understand the way he "functions"...

I think many things can work out well as long as both understands why the other acts in way they do... And both does some compromises.

Just some thoughts.

Belincia said:

Hello,

I'm INFJ and my partner is (supposedly) INTJ. He doesn't believe in personality tests, so he doesn't take one, no matter how I ask

I personally fell for him most of all because of similar interests about ethical, philosophical etc. issues (that are very important for us both).
I think one reason for NF:s to fall for INTJ:s could be feeling of security. This has been important to me personally... And probably this will make you feel us too clinging. I think INTJ can give strong feeling of security for person s/he cares about, since s/he probably is basically more stable and less emotional.

Problematic parts on the relationship has been right these feeling things. In the beginning of the relationship for example my INTJ partner was caring and all, but it disappears on the long run... I think it's not natural for him to be showing affection all the time... INTJ can feel very cold and harsh without even recognizing it himself.
I personally have been able to overcome this since I understand the way he "functions"...

I think many things can work out well as long as both understands why the other acts in way they do... And both does some compromises.

Just some thoughts.

Click to expand...

My mother has a similar issue with this as a Fe dominant user. I know throughout my teenage years she questioned if I actually cared for her or any connection I've made in life. I always knew that verbally expressing my emotions or love for her was preferred communication vs. through action. It wasn't until the past two years that I decided to open up more and express my emotions or concerns with her. But it was never through external pressure, it was an internal decision, which helped me accurately predict that she would be pleased I am opening up the doors to connect with her. Of course I will never fully connect with her since we come from different mindsets but at least half is better than none.

As an INTJ woman, I can definitely say I am not a cold person. I have emotions that run very deep and intensely through my heart but they are shown through my actions more than my words. I have a hard time expressing them because my body shuts off in a moment of intensive thought or feeling. When I make worthwile connections with others, I am more opened to expressing them but they either come out as me breaking down crying or just crazy impulsive comments from a rapid mind.

Since your partner is not willing to understand MBTI, then I would suggest talking about it with him. Ask him if he is concious of how his behavior comes off to others and how he sees his own personality. Get his mind stirring about his intrapersonal intelligence but also interpersonal too. If he really is an INTJ, he would surely appreciate the challenge and the fact you are trying to understand him better. And if he opens up more to you, that is the sign to talk about your wants/needs in the relationship.

Hats off to you for trying to understand him better and even yourself. Compromise is always important in relationships but even the littlest change in one's behavior can produce a more positive outcome for the both of you. :happy: