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What kind or "level" of physical touch do you like in a loving relationship(s)?~

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Discussion Starter #1
What kind or "level" of physical touch do you like in a loving relationship(s)?~

Also what kind of 'level of privacy' do you like?~


This thread is about "levels" of "intimacy" and "privacy" of being in a "romantic loving" relationship.~ :)

Those listed above are just "examples" of "levels" of "intimacy" you are comfortable with.~



Personally, 'privacy' when it comes to loving relationships doesn't exist for me, I see no reason we should keep any thing from each other if we truly love each other and we should NEVER 'get tired' of being around each other.~


I'm the kind of person, that I am all over some one all of the time or at least I think I would be: most of my relationships have never progressed farther than "online", but even with people I just met I am delighted if they want to hug me, usually I try not to touch people if I just met them as I do not know their level of comfort with such things.~


Slowly, over the years I have almost completely erased any sense of "personal space" for myself personally, although I still observe and often respect others'.~


I remember this one time when I first arrived at a huge college campus I was just hanging out and some one came up behind me and put their hands over my eyes and said, "Guess who?!" and I said, "Uh, I don't know." then they took their hands off my eyes and looked at my face and said, "Oh sorry, thought you were some one else." and I said, "Oh, that's ok, it's all good, bro. :)"


I have two dog brothers currently and I've had many non-Human family members and I cuddle them all the time, just to hold them in my arms their head nestled in my chest, I love it!~ ^_^


My ideal romantic loving relationship(s) is one where we are almost always touching some how, cuddling, nestled in each others' arms, holding hands, rubbing our faces against each others', rubbing noses, kissing each other every where light, soft, few, many, short, long, etc., nuzzeling each other, rubbing our bodies against each other like cats or dogs, etc. all in public, non-public, where ever we happen to be, to just do what we feel and say how we feel!~ ^_^


If I were to get into many relationships that have progressed to the point of meeting in-person, then I would want them to be the same way as the above.~ Also, we would all love each other and sit, cuddle, nuzzel, kiss, and sleep in one big pile.~


Sex doesn't have to be what every thing is leading to, but if it happens then it happens.~ ^_^
 

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Discussion Starter #3
Any of the above depending on circumstances.
I can deal with any of them depending on time, place, duration etc.
This isn't about the activities themselves, this is about the "level" of "physical contact".~

Just wanted to make that clear.~

Also, what "level" of "privacy" do you prefer?`
 

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I'm pretty much the same, I love being hugged and touched, even by strangers. And especially by lovers. Sometimes it feels that even the closest contact we can possibly get isn't close enough. And animals, yeah, I miss my cat so much, I loved cuddling her and feeling her soft fur. Touches are something I could never get tired of.

However, when it comes to non-physical privacy, I need a lot of alone time, I love spending time by myself and cannot live long without it. It's not because I keep secrets from people, it's just that sometimes I get tired of conversations, of presence of others, of the world and everything. The so called ''merge'' when two persons spend all their time together, become too similar and have hardly any interests and pursuits of their own for me is extremely unattractive. I don't want to lose myself, I don't want other people to lose themselves.
 

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Discussion Starter #5
I'm pretty much the same, I love being hugged and touched, even by strangers. And especially by lovers. Sometimes it feels that even the closest contact we can possibly get isn't close enough. And animals, yeah, I miss my cat so much, I loved cuddling her and feeling her soft fur. Touches are something I could never get tired of.

However, when it comes to non-physical privacy, I need a lot of alone time, I love spending time by myself and cannot live long without it. It's not because I keep secrets from people, it's just that sometimes I get tired of conversations, of presence of others, of the world and everything. The so called ''merge'' when two persons spend all their time together, become too similar and have hardly any interests and pursuits of their own for me is extremely unattractive. I don't want to lose myself, I don't want other people to lose themselves.
That doesn't always happen, and you can still be completely different people and still always be touching.~ It like every thing is ill-advised to be generalized because it is often inaccurate, it's really an individual thing.~
 

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This isn't about the activities themselves, this is about the "level" of "physical contact".~

Just wanted to make that clear.~

Also, what "level" of "privacy" do you prefer?`
I feel like an idiot, but I don't understand this question. Why would I select one level? Aren't all of these levels of physical touch part of being in a loving relationship? I don't have a specific level I like because I like all of the above.
 

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Discussion Starter #8 (Edited)
I feel like an idiot, but I don't understand this question. Why would I select one level? Aren't all of these levels of physical touch part of being in a loving relationship? I don't have a specific level I like because I like all of the above.
I meant in general some people only like some kinds of physical intimacy to be of a certain "distance" all-the-time or more often than not.~
 
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-Confused-

Mind clarifying what type of relationship you are specifying for the level of comfort?

Cause there was a mixture of relations described in the initial post. (friend, familial, stranger, and intimate (which I am using her to describe a "dating" relation, some place between friend and familial).)

I answered as if it was intimate.
 

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My first serious relationship was with an ESFP in high school and we held hands and hugged, but neither of us were space invaders, but I remember him saying something once like let go of my fingers I am trying to go to sleep, any way, he was great with foreplay and hugs, but he was not a big cuddler. We wrote each other love letters, talked on the phone, talked in bed, and had a lot of sex.

My next truly close relationship wasn't until my twenties with an ESFJ. When he first tried to walk with his arm around me, I was appalled. Let me the fuck go, I thought. But later after I fell in love with him, I grew very accustomed to being constantly affectionately touched, and actually after six years realized my primary love language was touch.

Now I have an IxFJ (probably ISFJ) and I am so fucking relieved to have another cuddler. He's extremely affectionate, he loves to cuddle, and it feels right, I am not resistant to it all. I have not been with some one else like this since ESFJ and I broke up. IT IS SO NICE. It calms me the hell down.

I still didn't pick practically wearing each other's clothes....space please k thnx.
 

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I don't like being touched by anyone but my lover. I hate hugs, and just unneeded sensory input in general. But I love closeness. To crawl inside somebody else.

During sex too. I love closeness. I don't really know how other people have sex, but from porn so...but they aren't doing it right. Like this girl will be riding this guy. And there will be like a foot or two between them. I want us always to be close. Chest to chest. Mouth to mouth, or forehead to forehead. Hands clutched together. Any part of our bodies that are capable of touching in that position, should touch. There should be no space in sex. No breathing room. You should be trying to crawl out of yourself into the other person.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
In my opinion: There is a difference between sexual activities and physical intimacy.~

Physical Intimacy is when you physically "give affection", it can lead to or turn into (depending upon the definition of perspective of) sexual activities but physical intimacy (depending on the level and type) is not considered by those involved to be a sexual activity.~

However: if you define "intimacy" and/or "sexual activities" differently than I do, then please say so and explain in detail in this thread.~

Thank you.~
 
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Answer: Being no where near each other's 'spaces' (like farther than arms'-length).~

I have a tendency of wanting to emotionally distance myself from anyone attempting to be affectionate towards me. Why?

Perhaps because I on a subconscious level distrust the person wanting to give me affection?

Or perhaps because I didn't grow up in a warm affectionate environment?

Or perhaps my repugnance for affection is not about how the act itself feels, but rather that I'm scared of being incompetent in this area?

I don't know.

Being affectionate to me, most of the time, seems completely alien. I find the entire experience intrusive and uncomfortable.

I've always -felt- that the people around me are much warmer emotionally than I am, and that they all know something about life that I can't seem to understand.

This all leads to me preferring a more platonic relationship
 

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Answer: Being no where near each other's 'spaces' (like farther than arms'-length).~

I have a tendency of wanting to emotionally distance myself from anyone attempting to be affectionate towards me. Why?

Perhaps because I on a subconscious level distrust the person wanting to give me affection?

Or perhaps because I didn't grow up in a warm affectionate environment?

Or perhaps my repugnance for affection is not about how the act itself feels, but rather that I'm scared of being incompetent in this area?

I don't know.

Being affectionate to me, most of the time, seems completely alien. I find the entire experience intrusive and uncomfortable.

I've always -felt- that the people around me are much warmer emotionally than I am, and that they all know something about life that I can't seem to understand.

This all leads to me preferring a more platonic relationship
Baha, no kidding. :kitteh: But, you do have your moments, even if they are rare. I appreciate those moments, and I think I'd appreciate them less if they happened more often.

I've always been a pretty huggy kind of person, but my affections are variable and sporadic. When the mood seizes me, I'll display hugs, massages, and kisses. And then I'll retreat back into a kind of preoccupied obliviousness.

I think that if my dear SO were trying to persistently be affectionate, I'd get somewhat annoyed and withdraw. I like to be the one to initiate the affections, to have them reciprocated, and then to continue on with my own absorbed interest in some other subject matter.

If I'm interrupted by affections when I'm doing some kind of task which takes a lot of focus to accomplish (ie. Chores), I'm kind of neutral on the side of 'Leave me alone or I will telepathically neuter you.'

So, I can't really pinpoint a poll answer, since it's really, 'Sometimes, occasionally, rarely, YES, RIGHT NOW'... :proud:
 

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Discussion Starter #17
As for questions regarding what exactly is the question of the poll, in retrospection I now realize that I was too vague in my wording of the question, the question should read like this:

What "level" of "distance" in regarding physical touch do you like in (a) loving romantic relationship(s) more often than not?~

There should also be another option:

My preferences are not the same often enough to choose 1 of these "levels" so I choose this option and will describe my preferences in more detail in the following thread:
 

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Not counting sex itself, holding arms.

I mean, hugs are good every now and then, but it's more of a "hug me, then leave me alone" type thing. I'm a little uncomfortable with prolonged non-sexual contact.
 
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-Confused-

Mind clarifying what type of relationship you are specifying for the level of comfort?

Cause there was a mixture of relations described in the initial post. (friend, familial, stranger, and intimate (which I am using her to describe a "dating" relation, some place between friend and familial).)

I answered as if it was intimate.
It's in the first sentence that is the poll title.~
 

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Discussion Starter #20
Not counting sex itself, holding arms.

I mean, hugs are good every now and then, but it's more of a "hug me, then leave me alone" type thing. I'm a little uncomfortable with prolonged non-sexual contact.
My mother is the same way so I know what you mean!~ ^_^
 
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