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I am curious as to what kinds of people ESFJ's are naturally drawn to.

Pretend as if you were at a party in which you did not know anyone except the host. You have to choose which kinds of people to interact with and get to know first. What would your ideal person look like, be having conversations with others about, etc?
Everyone. My circle of friends includes:

Fiance - The military strategic type
BFF - The bad boy martial arts fighter type
"Sister" - The mother hen type
Former coworker - The no nonsense type
Future sister-in-law - The shy and quiet worrisome type
Other future sister-in-law - The chihuahua with the attitude of a pit bull type

And that's just to list a few. I don't care much for nice neat little cliques, that's too boring for me, I need variety. :proud:
 

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I am drawn towards people who are outgoing and confident in themselves, funny with a kind sense of humor, spontaneous, purpose-driven and know what they want, and people who think outside of the box/creatively.

One of my best friends is an ENFP. He has the majority of the qualities I just described. We have TONS of fun together, but sometimes he just wears me out! :laughing:
 
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Lots of people but more so than others......

ESTP
ISTP
ISFP
ESFP
ESTJ

I know one that used to date an INTP. I also know some esfjs that have a lot of ENTP friends. I know only one INFJ who's brother is an ESFJ and they get along somewhat well. INFPs seem to sort of get along with them but not really... it's like surface level getting along. They seem to get along well with ENTJs actually. ENFJs like them too.

But yea. It depends on the person, place, upbringing etc. of the esfj as well as the other person. It seems as though from my standpoint ESFJs are largely a product of their environment and the value systems others have. But once they have a value system based on their surroundings they can be a stickler for it.
 

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I tend to gravitate to outgoing people that are entertaining to be around, but have strong morals.
Best Friend #1: ENFJ
Best Friend #2: ESTJ
Best Friend #3: ENFP
Dad: ESFP (I have to take care of my Dad sometimes because all he wants to do is have fun, but he falls under entertaining lol) :crazy:
My Mom and Brother are also ENFP like best friend #3
 

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My opposites. I married an INTP, my very best friend is an ISTJ, two of the most fascinating human beings I was ever friends with for a time were INFJ. I love the introverts. I can see right through other extroverts, and so, while they can be fun, we're usually never best friends.
 

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My opposites. I married an INTP, my very best friend is an ISTJ, two of the most fascinating human beings I was ever friends with for a time were INFJ. I love the introverts. I can see right through other extroverts, and so, while they can be fun, we're usually never best friends.

I wonder if we gravitate to Introverts or Extraverts based on who we grew up with like parents and siblings…
BlondeRJ do you know what your parents and or siblings personalities are?
:happy:
 

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I'm drawn to people who are deep, have a good sense of humor, and that can give as much as I do in a relationship. Know what I mean? I don't like to be the only one that holds together the friendship. I think most ESFJ's can be friends with every type if they try though.
 

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I wonder if we gravitate to Introverts or Extraverts based on who we grew up with like parents and siblings…
BlondeRJ do you know what your parents and or siblings personalities are?
:happy:
Oh yes. I grew up in an entire home of extroverts. Only one introvert out of six - my brother. My family was:

Dad: ENTJ
Mom: ENFJ
Sister: ESTJ
Brother: ENFP

We were all very vocal, talkative, outgoing, loud... :p

Except my one brother, number three in the family (I'm the oldest) who is ISTJ, I think.
 

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Oh yes. I grew up in an entire home of extroverts. Only one introvert out of six - my brother. My family was:

Dad: ENTJ
Mom: ENFJ
Sister: ESTJ
Brother: ENFP

We were all very vocal, talkative, outgoing, loud... :p

Except my one brother, number three in the family (I'm the oldest) who is ISTJ, I think.
I have a ENFP brother too! And they say ENFPs are rare lol:laughing:
 

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newish person.. probably doesn tknow about the typisism rule. just gave a warning
 

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"ESFJ's natural partner is the ISFP, or the INFP" said a website*. But, I'm an ENFJ and I love my ESFJ so much, and I'm so satisfied with him :proud:! He is as well happy with me :wink:.

*ESFJ Relationships
 

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At a party, I'd be drawn to anyone who is FUN and outgoing. I'd likely start talking to anyone who started talking to me first and had interesting stories to tell. Can't stand it when someone strikes up a conversation and then has nothing to say to follow it up...

I also love talking to people who can teach me something, or tell me something I've never heard of before. :laughing:
 

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"ESFJ's natural partner is the ISFP, or the INFP" said a website*. But, I'm an ENFJ and I love my ESFJ so much, and I'm so satisfied with him :proud:! He is as well happy with me :wink:.

]
I agree ENFJ and ESFJ are amazing toghether both so loud and cuddley toghether there both so ultra loving

i have a question for u?

have u realized ESFJ males really arnt intrested in relationships until they actually have one then there like 100 percent committed?
 

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An ESFJ chiming in for herself:

In a social situation where I don't usually know anyone well, if at all, I'll usually chat up anyone who seems at least receptive to small talk. In general, I find myself ending up in the company of NFs and NTs, followed by fellow SJs and finally SPs, basically in that order. Most of my close friends are introverts.

If I had a choice of people to interact with, I'd go for people who are thoughtful and/or creative and imaginative. I guess that explains the NFs and NTs!

Oh! And my significant other of almost 10 years is a very, very strong INTJ. I don't know what that says about either of us, lol.
 

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An ESFJ chiming in for herself:

In a social situation where I don't usually know anyone well, if at all, I'll usually chat up anyone who seems at least receptive to small talk. In general, I find myself ending up in the company of NFs and NTs, followed by fellow SJs and finally SPs, basically in that order. Most of my close friends are introverts.

If I had a choice of people to interact with, I'd go for people who are thoughtful and/or creative and imaginative. I guess that explains the NFs and NTs!

I agree I tend to follow the same order. Best friends and bfs are INFPs, ENFPs, ENTJs, ENTPs, ENFJs, etc... etc.. have a hard time with INTP though... INTJs are also good but also hard to get out of their shell at small talk at parties, so those friendships get built other places.
I like fellow ESFJs but when you're with someone exactly like you, you uncomfortably see their flaws and dont see their virtues because you already have those met in yourself. I do have one ESFJ friend and our friendship consists of mutually intense gabbing about our lives : )

There are always exceptions... ISTPs are fun to *watch* or *be near* but I kind of think a relationship with them doesnt involve talking. Dated an ISTJ for a long time... but those kinds of friendships are formed more slowly and not through small talk, through constant proximity.

The only one I havent been able to deal with thus far, in terms of people I've actually identified, is ESTP. I've always found them to be too callous with other people, but then again the ones I met were all egotistical frat boys..
 

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I agree I tend to follow the same order. Best friends and bfs are INFPs, ENFPs, ENTJs, ENTPs, ENFJs, etc... etc.. have a hard time with INTP though... INTJs are also good but also hard to get out of their shell at small talk at parties, so those friendships get built other places.
I like fellow ESFJs but when you're with someone exactly like you, you uncomfortably see their flaws and dont see their virtues because you already have those met in yourself. I do have one ESFJ friend and our friendship consists of mutually intense gabbing about our lives : )

There are always exceptions... ISTPs are fun to *watch* or *be near* but I kind of think a relationship with them doesnt involve talking. Dated an ISTJ for a long time... but those kinds of friendships are formed more slowly and not through small talk, through constant proximity.

The only one I havent been able to deal with thus far, in terms of people I've actually identified, is ESTP. I've always found them to be too callous with other people, but then again the ones I met were all egotistical frat boys..
INTPs are a mixed-bag with me. I realize they're the Jungian shadow of the ESFJ but I know two INTPs relatively closely and one I really don't care for at all, which I guess is to be expected considering, and the other is one of my closest friends and we get along famously. So I suppose that's an example of where MBTI only goes so far.

As for SPs, I'm not entirely sure how well I get along with them or don't simply because I never really find them within my social circles. I'm sure I've interacted with them before, but whenever I have a friend take the MBTI, they never turn out to be SPs. The few confirmed SP acquaintances I have I'm not really close to and don't see myself ever becoming close to. I'm really kind of a laid-back homebody so that might be why (not to generalize artisans too much) I don't cross paths with them often.
 

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INTP for me. I usually don't start a conversation at party. Someone has to come up to me because I'm most likley too shy.
When there is a balance in the INTP-ESFJ relationship then it's a great thing, the INTP (from my experience only) opens up and the ESFJ listens more. I like that a lot. A switch of roles so to speak. I was once in a relationship with a girl who was more of an extrovert than me, way "louder" in a way and sometimes I just couldn't wait to be alone yet we lived together. It's weird.

But to answer the quaestion I have mostly been drawn to INTP's or INTJ and even ISTP's. I have a thing for the Thinkers. They inlfuence me in the best possible way.
 
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