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When there is a balance in the INTP-ESFJ relationship then it's a great thing, the INTP (from my experience only) opens up and the ESFJ listens more. I like that a lot. A switch of roles so to speak. I was once in a relationship with a girl who was more of an extrovert than me, way "louder" in a way and sometimes I just couldn't wait to be alone yet we lived together. It's weird.

But to answer the quaestion I have mostly been drawn to INTP's or INTJ and even ISTP's. I have a thing for the Thinkers. They inlfuence me in the best possible way.
I totally agree.
 

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I have a tendency to not express myself very well or at least not to my liking.
I should expand on my remakrs about the ESFJ/INTP relationship. I didn't mean a total reversal of roles, I wouldn't like nor want that. I just find that in my experience, there is so much to gain, really just a good fit. I can't explain it right. Just have a big understanding (most of the time) of INTP's. I still wonder if I'm truly an ESFJ but whatever.
 

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I have a tendency to not express myself very well or at least not to my liking.
I should expand on my remakrs about the ESFJ/INTP relationship. I didn't mean a total reversal of roles, I wouldn't like nor want that. I just find that in my experience, there is so much to gain, really just a good fit. I can't explain it right. Just have a big understanding (most of the time) of INTP's. I still wonder if I'm truly an ESFJ but whatever.
I'm starting to wonder too! Very shy and not able to express yourself? ;-)
 

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I'd definitely say a good mix of INTJ and ESFJ/P but I don't have any interest in "serving" others.
I used to over tend to others. Learned to not smother my GF so much though.
That's even more confusing!
 

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One my closest friends is an ESFJ... and, she can be social with everyone on some level, in a way that as an INFP, I can't... i need to feel a "connection" with that person, an affinity, they get my humor, but she can just play the game and puts people in the limelight and just puts people at ease, which I really admire. She takes to people with senses of humor... and mean/gossiping/cruel people just turn her off.
Also, she socializes in different ways, her "group" self where she tries to get along with everyone on a superficial level, and then when she's with me alone or with a small group, we can be a lot more serious and she can express anger or sadness and we just have a really good humorous banter... we can almost read each other's minds sometimes. she's told me, "we're totally different but we get along on so many levels"... I don't think we would have been drawn to each other at a party, however, because I do not come off as a social butterfly and she is kind of status oriented. but because we did sports together and were put in a situation where we were really given the chance to get to know one another, we became super tight. so I think what someone was saying about getting along with IxFxs is true, because I think I'm kind of the safe harbor she can vent and know I won't judge her, just because I am laid-back with a kind of bitter/ironic humor she totally gets. And we have similar beliefs and get upset at the same kind of injustices in the world.. hope this helps.
 

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I'm drawn to quiet, serious types...which is shown by the fact most of my friends are introverts (INTJ, INTP, INFP, ISTJ, INFJ, ISFJ, etc).

I am also drawn to stressed or depressed people, but if they just like to wallow in it, I will eventually disappear.
 

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Down to earth people, social/emotional people, basically; that's my experience.
ISTP's, ISFP's, INFJ's.. not only those types, but these three immediately come to mind.
 

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I'm drawn to quiet, serious types...which is shown by the fact most of my friends are introverts (INTJ, INTP, INFP, ISTJ, INFJ, ISFJ, etc).

I am also drawn to stressed or depressed people, but if they just like to wallow in it, I will eventually disappear.
Don't forget ISFPs. `v`
 

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My opposites. I married an INTP, my very best friend is an ISTJ, two of the most fascinating human beings I was ever friends with for a time were INFJ. I love the introverts. I can see right through other extroverts, and so, while they can be fun, we're usually never best friends.
Where did you meet your husband? You look like the type of girl I've always wanted to date but can never find. Do you have any suggestions where an INTP can find ESFJs?

Thanks!
 

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Hi, everyone! First post on these forums. :)

I'd say I'm really drawn to introverts. Most of my previous relationships have been with I's and my boyfriend is an ISTJ. I think it's because as an ESFJ, I naturally adapt to whatever trait is missing in whichever group I'm hanging out with (I can be quiet around other E's and loud around I's), so being with an I brings out the true extrovert in me. That said, I get along best with ISFJ/INFJs.
 

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I'm definitely more drawn to introverts. The vast majority of my meaningful relationships in life have been with introverted individuals. I'm strongly attracted to IxFx, for sure. That said, I've also enjoyed great friendships and relationships with IxTJs. I think I'm too 'quiet' of an extravert for most extraverts, so I tend to not gravitate towards them much (especially ExTx). I also have trouble reading introverts and naturally forge deeper relationships with them in order to get to know them at their core. I think that's why I like INFJs so much.

That said, I'm not really a typical ESFJ, either...I'm always typed as such, but I feel that I am more withdrawn and more scientific than most. It's possible that my more reserved tendencies allow me to connect better with introverts, but I'm kind of just waving my hands with that one.
 

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I am an INFP and my boyfriend of over 2 years is an ESFJ....he's had two other serious girlfriends before me and, from what I know about them, it seems like they were INFPs as well (so obviously he must have a thing for quiet, artsy girls with their heads in the clouds). However, most of the time when I show my INFP-ness around him (anything that is not considered "normal" in our society) all he does is sarcastically call me a "weirdo" or "psycho."
My question is: Does he do this because he's simply attacking my "non-normal" behavior...or because he actually finds it endearing and attractive & is just affectionately poking fun at me???
 
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