[Vexed]

In terms of social situations?

 

[sleepyhead]

In terms of social situations?

We're stuck in our heads, so for myself, without even realizing it, I'm often not totally present in a social situation. I'm analyzing my behaviour and others behaviour, thinking about saying the right thing, not wanting to appear incompetent or off putting.

When I'm able to stay grounded and really concentrate on being in my body rather than letting my reactive thoughts take over, it's much more pleasant and I feel less anxious. It's taken a lot of practice in some situations though.

 

[rosetea]

well, when im in a social situation, all i can thnk is............how pointless it is. i mean i look at every1 dressed up and talking abt stuff neither the speaker nor listener cares, but just for the sake of talking. makes feel so annoyed.
but at the same time i dont want to be pointed out as an arrogant person. so i smile at ever1 i see and try be as tolerant as possible. but i still cant get the thought that its such a waste of time out of my mind.
on the bright side, they seve as a great place for observing people. its amusing to sit there n watch ppl...

 

[Vexed]

How can one tell of its disinterest or if that you want to be approached?

 

[BlueG]

In terms of social situations?

I stay objective until action needs to be taken. Part of being objective means that I take no action that affects the outcome. It's sort of like gathering three people for a foot race and being the referee. You wouldn't stand in the lanes because that would affect the times. You would stand off to the side and watch, and spring into action when one player pushes another or someone has crossed the finish line.

How can one tell of its disinterest or if that you want to be approached?

My eyes will be actively engaged. They will follow the flow of conversation, and my arms will shift positions (from touching my chin to be cross armed to putting an arm on my head -- note: the position of my arms don't indicate what I think about the situation.)

If I am disinterested, my eyes focus on a detail on someone or something or they glaze over. In either case I am creating something more interesting in my head.

 

[Vexed]

I stay objective until action needs to be taken. Part of being objective means that I take no action that affects the outcome. It's sort of like gathering three people for a foot race and being the referee. You wouldn't stand in the lanes because that would affect the times. You would stand off to the side and watch, and spring into action when one player pushes another or someone has crossed the finish line.




My eyes will be actively engaged. They will follow the flow of conversation, and my arms will shift positions (from touching my chin to be cross armed to putting an arm on my head -- note: the position of my arms don't indicate what I think about the situation.)

If I am disinterested, my eyes focus on a detail on someone or something or they glaze over. In either case I am creating something more interesting in my head.

For the latter question, it was geared more towards not acting or possibly starting/having a convo, and not an actual conversation.

 

[BlueG]

For the latter question, it was geared more towards not acting or possibly starting/having a convo, and not an actual conversation.

Okay. I need more information. Is this Five just sitting alone? What do you mean by "not acting"?

 

[Vexed]

Okay. I need more information. Is this Five just sitting alone? What do you mean by "not acting"?

Not socializing but being around people.

 

[BlueG]

Not socializing but being around people.

If I was in a room with people in it and not socializing, again look at my eyes. If you walk 2-3 feet in front of me, just walk normally without any weird noises, and my eyes notice you then I can be approached. When I am absorbed in my head, I do not notice people walking in front of me. So my eyes noticing you is a sign that I am bored and looking for a distraction.

Once you approach me continue looking at my eyes. They will either engage you, or focus on a point near your body or on your body if I am interested. If I am disinterested, my eyes will be active and continue moving away from your body/head.

Once a couple of minutes have passed, then my post (#5) applies.

 

[Vexed]

If I was in a room with people in it and not socializing, again look at my eyes. If you walk 2-3 feet in front of me, just walk normally without any weird noises, and my eyes notice you then I can be approached. When I am absorbed in my head, I do not notice people walking in front of me. So my eyes noticing you is a sign that I am bored and looking for a distraction.

Once you approach me continue looking at my eyes. They will either engage you, or focus on a point near your body or on your body if I am interested. If I am disinterested, my eyes will be active and continue moving away from your body/head.

Once a couple of minutes have passed, then my post (#5) applies.

Do you think this applies to you or 5s in general?

 

[BlueG]

Do you think this applies to you or 5s in general?

Good question.

Because of my fixation on precision, I am likely to preface everything with "me personally" or something of that effect. While it completely and perfectly applies to me, I do believe it also applies to Fives because Fives are always in their head. Eyes give out a lot of information in Thinking types, while the body and the face in general fail to.

 

[Vexed]

If you're more reactive and spend more time in your head, does that mean you rather give answers than ask questions/rather be asked questions than listen to people's answers in a convo?

 

[Oatsie]

I would say that it does apply to us 5s, I never really thought about what indicates whether I am attentive or not, but after reading what you typed I realise that that is exactly what I do as well =)

 

[Vexed]

I would say that it does apply to us 5s, I never really thought about what indicates whether I am attentive or not, but after reading what you typed I realise that that is exactly what I do as well =)

Why / what is your reasoning for this?

 

[Oatsie]

not sure if there really is a reason, it is just the way I communicate in a way. My main body language I suppose, since talking is quite difficult to start & even continue. But like what Bluegiraffe said, when I am attentive I look around at people & see what they are up to, otherwise I will look at an object in thought, analysing, but at the same time I might be listening in on conversations & making small notes. Group conversations generally dull me unless it is something I am interested in or a debate, I love debates. But I will listen in & think about what they say & try to figure out why they are talking about such a dull topic & analyse the conversation.

 

[Vexed]

What is a general sign you're open to being talked to?

 

[Transcendence]

If I was in a room with people in it and not socializing, again look at my eyes. If you walk 2-3 feet in front of me, just walk normally without any weird noises, and my eyes notice you then I can be approached. When I am absorbed in my head, I do not notice people walking in front of me. So my eyes noticing you is a sign that I am bored and looking for a distraction.

Once you approach me continue looking at my eyes. They will either engage you, or focus on a point near your body or on your body if I am interested. If I am disinterested, my eyes will be active and continue moving away from your body/head.

Once a couple of minutes have passed, then my post (#5) applies.

Won't it be exhausting for others to try to keep up with your complex "rules" or whatever they are? I mean, you might find it more comfortable and yes, I kinda do the same, but I don't expect people to keep that in mind when thinking of approaching me.

I don't care for how the conversation starts as long as it's a pleasant one.

 

[BlueG]

Won't it be exhausting for others to try to keep up with your complex "rules" or whatever they are? I mean, you might find it more comfortable and yes, I kinda do the same, but I don't expect people to keep that in mind when thinking of approaching me.

I don't care for how the conversation starts as long as it's a pleasant one.

I was presented with a problem of how you could tell when a 5 is open to being approached. I took time and contemplated it. I analysed my behaviors and presented them. It was the first time I had thought about it.

Also keep in mind that I was telling the information as a shortcut for the OP (all body languages are essentially a shortcut to the mind), and I expected the information to be used on other Fives. They might not be as aware of the imagine they are presenting, or introspective.

 

[Transcendence]

I was presented with a problem of how you could tell when a 5 is open to being approached. I took time and contemplated it. I analysed my behaviors and presented them. It was the first time I had thought about it.

Also keep in mind that I was telling the information as a shortcut for the OP (all body languages are essentially a shortcut to the mind), and I expected the information to be used on other Fives. They might not be as aware of the imagine they are presenting, or introspective.

Waitwaitwait... so if I, as a 5, don't have the same body language, concentrated on the eyes specifically, I'm not introspective enough?

I know it seems like I'm out to get you, I'm really not, but I just feel like those are wrong statements. In your case, true, in others? Not so much.

 

[BlueG]

Waitwaitwait... so if I, as a 5, don't have the same body language, concentrated on the eyes specifically, I'm not introspective enough?

I know it seems like I'm out to get you, I'm really not, but I just feel like those are wrong statements. In your case, true, in others? Not so much.

If you reread my post you will clearly see the declaration of "They might not." This means they might not be introspective or they might not be aware of the imagine they are presenting. This means that it does not assert that it is an 'either or' system.

However if you do choose to ignore that crucial operative word, please note that I provided two options - introspective or not aware of the image they are presenting. For you to debate my post, you would have to include the other option as well for your post to be valid.

Also please do not project your feelings onto me. I didn't think you were "out to get me".