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First off I'm an INFP. I met an INTJ a couple of weeks ago and we are mutually interested in eachother but I don't understand why she likes me. We both have the same interest, taste in music, thing like that. I know why I like her but I don't know why she likes me, a I know is she finds me attractive. INTJS are so logial and I don't understad what is it that makes them want to pursue a relationship. I know that they think oppose to feel so why question: Why does this INTJ like me? What makes INTJs choose who they want to be in a relationship?
 

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Some options that spring to mind, off the top of my head before I go to bed..so not giving this much thought, I may be way off but anyway:

-are you kind of mysterious? I don't mean that you purposely act coy or play games, but that you are just naturally kind of private and then let pieces of yourself show? Because that is intriguing for INTJs, I believe. We want to know people on a deep level and if we see it's there and you have our curiosity, that can attract us. I believe INFPs kind of tend to be private and keep their vulnerabilities hidden. INTJs are quite good at seeing people's vulnerabillities. So...if she's had a peek but knows she doesn't have the whole picture, she may want to know more.

-I guess this is along the same lines, but are there things about you that seem contradictory or surprising? For instance, a jock who also is into and good at trivia and chess - intriguing! Or I meet someone who seems like a stereotypical frat-type guy and then I find out he listens to old time jazz music. That makes me stop and think because it's breaking my stereotypes. Being unexpected - surprisingly refreshing, different, etc.

- or it's likely that you are an interesting person and you aren't giving yourself credit. I think in general, being genuine and interesting is what interests INTJs. Of course, everyone is an individual so no one will really be able to answer you because we are not her! :)


::edit:: I hate making sweeping generalizations so when I say INTJs do or think or feel something, I mean in general, YMMV, etc.
 

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i know two infp's. one is a platonic friend, a woman who discovered after i'd known her for a few years that she's gay. and the other's a man, who didn't. love them both to ridiculous heights.

- they make me giggle. no-one does goofy/silly/sweet like my infps.
- they get me. i really tend to get them. they discuss interesting things that no-one else ever tends to go near, from perspectives that nobody else ever seems to think up. and they're ruthlessly honest, so the discussion's worthwhile.
- they have my back. i don't need their protection or advocacy, but i can tell either of them about someone else being arse-ish to me and know they'll get infuriated, for exactly the reason why i feel the someone-else was an arse.
- nobody's funnier. or more serious about things that i think should be serious.
- the things that they tell me about are things that i think attention should be given to.
- they care about people. very few of the other people i know understand how much i care too.
- they understand me well enough to read my feelings, and know when to push and when to leave me alone.
- they're completely original. and this may be selfish, but both of them give me a kind of steady, steadfast affection i'd feel terribly sad not to have, if i lost it.
 

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If I like the girl's eyes they will get my attention.
At this point, all that's needed is for me to see her
eyes sparkle with genuine amazement and pleasure
because she just learned something.
 

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Tell me if I'm wrong, you are saying that she is an INTJ so if she likes you there must be a logical reason for that?
We value logic, but we are not some logic machines.. if we like someone it's because we feel so. Sometimes logic can come later.
This was my thought exactly. Why wouldn't she like you just because she's an INTJ?

That said, I know and love tons of INFPs and I'd put ability and interest to go wherever my mind wants to take me as being a huge selling point. They can get into deep discussions with me as well as offer insights that my mind wouldn't even consider. It's nice to have someone to fill in my blanks and help me in my weak areas, haha.
 

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When I look at someone, if they can look me in the eye and I see that they are giving me their absolute attention, then I am instantly attracted, because I am doing that to anyone I talk or listen to, and very few people do it in return. I enjoy figuring things out, which includes people, and if they aren't interested in me, well...that's that. So I want to be around those who are the same. That is all.
 

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Don't underestimate same taste in music and similar interests. I lived with a guy who loved George Michael and Matchbox 20 and I swore never ever again.
 

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My big-ass closet lesbo advice. Don't be boring!

My first love was a prostitute, I enjoyed both, the honesty, and purity of the affection. I suppose this may allude to a threshold of intensity. Maybe not so much, I'm still considering that looking back.
 

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So I found this on another thread: "So indicators here are, you'll find the INTJ interacting with you more than they normally would in comparison to other classmates/colleagues or acquaintances. Time is important to the INTJ, especially time alone...so if an INTJ is spending time with you rather than writing a random program or reading a complicated book, it's a sure fire way of telling he/she is interested."

Okay, the dynamics of the relationship I have with my INTJ are a bit complicated:

-I have known him for a little over two years.

- Were pretty good friends/are involved in a tight knit group of friends (I care about he and our other friend more than anyone or anything in the world)

- His house is the central hang out for our group of friends. During weekends and free days, we all go there to hang out, spend the night, etc. Sometimes I'll go over and none of are other friends are there and we'll just hang out. We'll do things like watch movies, watch our favorite tv shows, he'll ask me to sit next to him while he plays Minecraft and he'll talk to me about that while I draw, listen, etc. We both love music and we'll sing together all the time (Tiny Dancer by Elton John is our song where whenever it comes on we rock out to it together) He's really passionate about languages so he'll teach me about that, he'll sometimes read to me, he lets me borrow his books so i can read them, we'll get drunk together with our other friends, and other casual hangoung out stuff like that.

-He lets me wear a pair of his pj's when i stay the night

- He lets me sleep on the floor of his room with him

-When he gets really drunk he turns affectionate and he'll hug me. (Not exclusively me but he still hugs me more often than most people)

- I asked my ENTJ friend what he thinks on the matter and he said that our INTJ friend has a "dgaf attitude" towards most people but not me.

- He has never expressed any signs of interest in me

So just with the information I have given you, could you guys please give me your best judgement and input on the matter. What exactly are the dynamics of our relationship? Do you think my INTJ thinks about me/would want to be involved with me in a romantic way and if not what does he care for me as?

Any response is greatly appreciated. Thank you for taking the time o read this. :]
 

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Hahah alright, fair enough. I am just confused as to what his interest means and/or what I should do in the matter.
At least from my experience, we can be pretty dense. The best way is to ask some blunt questions and see what he says, without entirely giving away your reasoning.
 

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This will, of course, vary depending on the INTJ.
 
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This will, of course, vary depending on the INTJ.

Agreed. Every person is different.

My INTJ is currently enrolled in his last semester of community college before he'll be moving on/moving away/furthering his education/etc. What I'm basically trying to figure out is if he cares about me enough to where he would want me to go with him. I never want to loose him and I'm trying to see from another INTJ's point of view if when the time comes, would he be okay with me following him.
 

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We're just slightly more friendly to people we like (especially in my case).
My scale is like this:

Hate You: Haven't hated anyone yet, but I would probably slit their tires.

Don't like you: Actively avoid you, will not talk to you, you will pretty much have to carry the conversation and I will be actively trying to leave..

Don't Know you: Will ask you about small topics if you happen to be sitting at the same table as me or in a situation that is more awkward without small talk.

Like You:
Acquaintance: Will start conversations with you, if nearby; normally about the topic in which we are acquainted. Will learn your name and use it in conversation with you. Will wander away if bored.

Friendly: Will try to learn more about your life. Will ask you about your cube.

Romantic: Will try to learn more about you. I will smile. Will ask you about your cube. I will also try to end up near where you will be.
 

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My scale is like this:

Hate You: Haven't hated anyone yet, but I would probably slit their tires.

Don't like you: Actively avoid you, will not talk to you, you will pretty much have to carry the conversation and I will be actively trying to leave..

Don't Know you: Will ask you about small topics if you happen to be sitting at the same table as me or in a situation that is more awkward without small talk.

Like You:
Acquaintance: Will start conversations with you, if nearby; normally about the topic in which we are acquainted. Will learn your name and use it in conversation with you. Will wander away if bored.

Friendly: Will try to learn more about your life. Will ask you about your cube.

Romantic: Will try to learn more about you. I will smile. Will ask you about your cube. I will also try to end up near where you will be.
This is absolutely perfect
 
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