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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ive read consistently on a few threads that a romantic relationship between INFP and INTJ generally doesn't work out well. I've heard one reason, primarily that INTJs find INFPs too emotional. But I'm sure theres more to it than that...

Can you guys describe to me why you've found that these two types are possibly good at maintaining a friendship but not more?
 

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Nothing makes them incompatible. We get along great usually. I will say since I am a female, I don't tend to see INFP/ENFP males masculine or responsible enough for me to have any romantic attraction towards one.
That's just ones I've met though and that one is more gender dynamics and personal likes than type perhaps.

I have loved being with a female ENFP romantically and have close INFP friends. I would say that regarding feelings I find they either are overly gung ho on something I disagree with but they won't give a break (especially if it's something they dislike) or they are totally blank and don't express much at all, which I can't work with. As contradictory as it is, I need to read your emotions before I engage my own. Sometimes they obsess over you if they do like you, which is entirely too much intensity and irks me as I'm big on people liking me for who I am and not a fantasy they built in their head. I'm trying to think of more negatives since that's what you're looking for but don't write anything off 'till you get in there and see for yourself.
 

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While they get along great as friends because the INTJ can focus on their Ni hero to feed ideas into the curious mind of when an INFP curiosity's leads(Ne parent). This leads to strong friendships around shared interests. However both types need their Fi managed internally, INFPs have very strong personal values(Fi Hero) and INTJs have sensitive, very innocent values(Fi Child). This means internally, they're both going to want the other to step up from a 'managing feelings' standpoint, but have difficulty.

It doesn't help that INFP's Si Child is very innocent and INTJ's Se Inferior is very insecure. INFPs are going to want their partner to be confident in giving them pleasant physical experiences, and most INTJs aren't going to be able to deliver. INFP's Te inferior is also usually bad at communicating exactly what they need, so it's going to make the INTJ even more confused on how to make them happy.
 

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Since we are in the INTJ forum I shall point out there are in fact 3 types of INFPs just like there are 3 types of INTJs.

In the following video and from my own observations Eve is a Calm INFP, while amongst Mallory and Kelsey, one is Border INFP and the other one is a Limbic INFP (not too sure which one is border and which one is limbic since I have very little data and experience in that field of observation) - skip to 48min onward to see more Kelsey and Mallory.

I am often querying myself how relevant it is to discuss the compatibility of 2 types while ignoring this fact.

3 INFP Females with Mallory @MythicalINFP, Kels @INFPidealist & Evelene Montaño

This is a fact that CPP is concerned about.

The Myers Briggs (MBTI) and the Big 5
 

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I think I would give an INFP male a go. My bf of 7 years is an INTP. He is cute as a button and I adore him. I think an INFP might fit me too. Yeah, they are emotional but sometimes having a guy do the touchy feely part is a relief for me. I do like the romance stuff from time to time. My last partners were both NT so I didn't get a whole lot of that. Like basically nothing lol. I think the most annoying bit would be the INFP might try to talk me down from my judgemental b**chy opinions whereas my INTP partner is like "haha yeah..." and loves the roast.
 

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INFP males are amazing that they are tolerant and respectful of other people's views (as long as we don't violate their values). I observe both INTJ and INFP are independent and generally DGAF of what other people may think about them, which can make them long-lasting partners including for romantic purposes. Many media have posed INTJs as being protective to INFPs (especially if their Enneatypes are either 5 or 8) but I can see INFPs can protect INTJs too.
 

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Ive read consistently on a few threads that a romantic relationship between INFP and INTJ generally doesn't work out well. I've heard one reason, primarily that INTJs find INFPs too emotional. But I'm sure theres more to it than that...

Can you guys describe to me why you've found that these two types are possibly good at maintaining a friendship but not more?
I believe I'm not sure if you know with what you are talking about. Since between INFP and INTJ is a relationship that involves a high usage of Fi vs Te, and in this case INTJ would be more natural or to be exact, bluntly honest about themselves while INFP longs for an experience that works to give them inspiration or motivation so they can work on their inferior Te. While it probably seems to benefit one of types which is INFP. As to me, I believe that tertiary Fi would need a feel of comfort in talking with INFP who prefers to vent of their feelings as their way in connecting with others by wearing their socks to fit someone's shoes. And they usually got along well or more so, comfortable with it. I've hade some INFP friends and got no problem with that, unless when they are unhealthy, I mean, to be fairly honest, every person probably doesn't like an unhealthy version of someone, and it's returned back to others, including me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Guys for the record, I know INTJ and INFP can be compatible. My question was: what are the incompatible points of an INFP INTJ romantic relationship (as opposed to the compatible points of the relationship) ?
 
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