Personality Cafe banner

1 - 20 of 20 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I'm just curious
I'm a INFJ
I have a ISTJ friend whom I treasure very much
She's a great friend and I really would like her to know that
sadly I always have difficulty expressing how i feel
so how do I make her feel happy and treasured? :laughing:
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #3
Use your INFJ powers.
"You said you always liked "A" so I thought you might like it.."
haha, sometimes I think my "powers" are immune to her
we both think SO DIFFERENTLY!
we love to play the guessing game about each other
the weird thing is that she always guesses correctly and Im always getting it wrong :crazy:
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
MOTM May 2011
Joined
·
14,041 Posts
Peoples is different--and even ISTJs is peoples.:wink:

Zero in on her love language. It is likely to be quality time and or words of affirmation. This means that your little guessing game and you spending time with her is important to her. A card with heart felt expressed emotions can also be impacting.

Be real. ISTJs love real and can sense fake pretty readily.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
272 Posts
maybe something like that
you are really important but i had no idea how to tell you or what to give you i even went on a forum to ask but they couldnt help so i want to tell you you are really important to me :D try crying a little at the end if you make her cry then jackpot XD (i was joking dont cry)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,234 Posts
Peoples is different--and even ISTJs is peoples.:wink:
That's what the person who programmed you wants non-ISTJs to think. Don't fall for his robot lies.:laughing:

Be real. ISTJs love real and can sense fake pretty readily.
I think this is good advice. I know for me it's true. I appreciate people that are honest, straight-forward, and genuine. Feeling 100% certain that a friend of mine does not have any hidden motives for being my friend puts my mind at ease because I'm constantly on the lookout for clues of this. If I feel certain that a person is a true friend I can begin to become more comfortable around them and maybe even divulge a few details about myself.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,869 Posts
Interesting post! I'm an INFJ and one of my closest friends is ISTJ. Sometimes I feel that I know her really well but other times I feel like it's the guessing game. Either way, she seems to understand that I really care about her and vice versa. I think this happened at different times for both of us where after prolonged effort on the part of the other (likewise private, reserved) individual, the other really got the fact that we were needed, wanted and cared for in the friendship.

And this ->"Feeling 100% certain that a friend of mine does not have any hidden motives for being my friend puts my mind at ease because I'm constantly on the lookout for clues of this. "
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #9
Peoples is different--and even ISTJs is peoples.:wink:

Zero in on her love language. It is likely to be quality time and or words of affirmation. This means that your little guessing game and you spending time with her is important to her. A card with heart felt expressed emotions can also be impacting.

Be real. ISTJs love real and can sense fake pretty readily.
haha~ ISTJs are people indeed.I've seen many sides of her. playful happy etc. but only saw her really down side once. JUST ONCE. haha, but she told me I was lucky. and I did certainly think i am lucky too:crazy:
ah, I made a card for her birthday. when she said she appreciated it I was happy.I didn't think she would think much about it when I gave her the present
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #10
maybe something like that
you are really important but i had no idea how to tell you or what to give you i even went on a forum to ask but they couldnt help so i want to tell you you are really important to me :D try crying a little at the end if you make her cry then jackpot XD (i was joking dont cry)
haha, yea. she'll probably freak out if i ever cried in front of her. I guess she will feel awkward and don't know what to do? that's why i usually refrain myself from showing too much emotions around her.
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #11
Interesting post! I'm an INFJ and one of my closest friends is ISTJ. Sometimes I feel that I know her really well but other times I feel like it's the guessing game. Either way, she seems to understand that I really care about her and vice versa. I think this happened at different times for both of us where after prolonged effort on the part of the other (likewise private, reserved) individual, the other really got the fact that we were needed, wanted and cared for in the friendship.

And this ->"Feeling 100% certain that a friend of mine does not have any hidden motives for being my friend puts my mind at ease because I'm constantly on the lookout for clues of this. "
yes yes! really agree on what you say about thinking I know her quite well but feeling like its a guessing game at times. :laughing: its tiring at times, but I'm more then ready to be patient with this =D
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #12
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #13
Owh, btw. I think ISTJs love talking about food and pets. or is it just my friend? XD
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
MOTM May 2011
Joined
·
14,041 Posts
Owh, btw. I think ISTJs love talking about food and pets. or is it just my friend? XD
No, it's not just your friend. Pets tend to be important to ISTJs as they are comfortable friends that always love us and don't get all tangled up with the emotional stuff we love to avoid. Food is a natural. I haven't seen a poll, but being SJs, I'll bet that you would find a great many that enjoy food and cooking more than other types.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mogeta

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,638 Posts
I would say that whatever you do, do it sincerely. I can generally read people by the physical/ visual cues they give and tell if they did are doing it sincerely with genuine feelings or not. If that is there, then that's what makes me feel happy and treasured- that they care for me. It doesn't matter then if its a $5000 worth of gift or a simple card- the feelings are essential.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
393 Posts
At work, I used to have an ISTJ reporting to me. Earlier I had problems trying to motivate and understand him. However, I later found out that he was an ISTJ. I leanred that ISTJs are duty fulfillers and they want people to appreciate them for the details they do at work.

So I decided to reward him based on his duty fullfilment. Set his KPIs based on routine task compliance and review them periodically. I think he enjoyed working for me since then.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
947 Posts
We always have weaknesses. Meaning, we know what we want. And if someone gives that to us, you've got a partner for life. Keep in mind, finding that soft spot and exploiting it isn't easy... in fact hard. But if you ask us we'll usually tell you.

Just ask her what it is, really. Communication is key. Tell her how you feel... just be 100% real and upfront. Do NOT lie or be deceiving. Do not play games. Even if you think its going to hurt her, be honest. If you need alone time, tell her, and then tell her why. But at the same time don't go overboard, don't cling; we're allowed to cling, you're not. We do it differently.

Did any of that make sense... to anyone? haha.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #19
No, it's not just your friend. Pets tend to be important to ISTJs as they are comfortable friends that always love us and don't get all tangled up with the emotional stuff we love to avoid. Food is a natural. I haven't seen a poll, but being SJs, I'll bet that you would find a great many that enjoy food and cooking more than other types.
Yep, today my friend told me food is everything to her. haha. it was the first time i saw her angry as she had a terrible dinner (she didnt have lunch before that )
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
Discussion Starter #20
But at the same time don't go overboard, don't cling; we're allowed to cling, you're not. We do it differently.
Yea, I agree on this one. It's weird how she reacts on clingy people. thats y I always tend to not go overboard with my feelings. even though I'm full with emotions :crazy:
 
  • Like
Reactions: niss
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
Top