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What makes parents feel loved? I appreciate responses from anyone but I’m particularly interested in hearing from parents.
 

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Honestly? My SO.

I don't really view it as the kids job to make me feel loved or appreciated, but It's my job to make sure she feels that way.
 

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Depends on the parents' personality, really. But generally speaking, all of them would love to get some appreciation and acknowledgment.

Small tidbits like "Thanks!" whenever they did something for you helps.

In general, I think parents operate like other human beings.
 

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I never even consider it. Being loved is unimportant to me, in fact, it is immaterial. My offspring are independent adults and they are not about to come back to the mother-ship. I can’t think of too much bleaker than 50 year olds having to spend time with 75 year old parents trying to convince them they love them. More likely they will need to know if our final arrangements have been made, where the papers are, and how much they are getting. Not to be mercenary, just practical. Corpses don’t last long if they are unattended and sitting 8n your favorite chair.

When my daughter got married we had the customary daddy-daughter dance. She broke down in tears and lost control. Her friends had to help her to a seat, thinking something terrible had happened. All she could manage to say was “Memories, so many memories.” She showed me enough love in those moments to convince me that Dad is loved. Apparently I did something right,
 

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Being present and supporting them in their times of struggle. It takes a certain level of maturity though, and if one’s kids have been raised really, really well, or are something special, then they might be there to really support a parent as youth. Too often are young people distracted from the present moment, in my opinion. My mother knew she was loved by us in her last moments on this world, we were constantly there for her, and that’s why she lived as long as she did in the later stages of her illness; the power of love.
 

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Being present and supporting them in their times of struggle. It takes a certain level of maturity though, and if one’s kids have been raised really, really well, or are something special, then they might be there to support a parent as youth. Too often are young people distracted from the present moment, in my opinion. My mother knew she was loved by us in her last moments on this world, we were constantly there for her, and that’s why she lived as long as she did in the later stages of her illness; the power of love.
I agree with this. Except it's quite common for children to be present and supportive of their parents in a lot of cultures. Especially when they're old, widowed or unwell. In my parents' culture the parents will live with one of their children and help with raising the grandkids.

They also make sure siblings maintain a strong bond and visit each other regularly. Even to this day, if I have a dispute with one of my siblings and we can't sort it out between ourselves, my mum will mediate. I'm 34 and I'm the youngest, for some perspective. We also all live in different countries but are still expected to visit each other at least 3-4 times a year.
 

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What makes parents feel loved? I appreciate responses from anyone but I’m particularly interested in hearing from parents.
Ask me again when my young kids turns into teenagers lol
As of this moment the way their eyes lit up when they see me come home from work - their goodbye kisses in the morning. Seeing them happy makes me happiest though unsure if that pertains with feeling loved


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My kids make me feel loved in different ways. Because they are different.

My ENFJ daughter is really thoughtful about bringing me coffee in the morning. She’s usually up before me getting off of her overnight shift. She does alotta other things related to gifts and acts. I recognize that’s how she communicates love a lot. And that makes me feel loved. She is usually really thoughtful about things like Mothers Day for example and coordinates dinners and gifts etc. She’s always put a lot of thought into these things since she was like 9 and I recognize and appreciate that gesture.

She also makes me feel loved when she comes to me for advice. She just moved out very abruptly because I put my foot down with her and laid down the law. But even so she still knows she can come home lean on my shoulder (literally) and get a hug and ask me what to do about her stupid friends and crushes.

~Weird thing that irritates me that she does to show love~ Social Media Public Displays of Affection. She’s notorious for making posts and dedicating them to people after she recently did something crappy to them. I’ve asked her to stop tagging me in her guilt posts. Lol 😂 she hasn’t stopped. I could really be spared this act. I’d be fine if it came from a more authentic place than trying to rid herself of her own guilt, and it was less frequent. I also wish that she would stop flexing she is 18 and forgetting the manners she was raised with in public spaces. I had to hide her so I don’t see her stories and get irritated with her posting pics flipping the bird. It doesn’t so much offend me at all direct as disappoint me she lacks respect for her elders like grandparents and aunts/uncles. This is not something I relate to as even when I’ve been wild I have a strange line where I show respect to elders who haven’t trespassed.

-My INFP daughter makes me feel loved usually without speaking. It’s in her eyes. She understands me quite a lot without my even speaking on a subject. She likes to make presents a lot for me. Make hand written cards and notes. Sometimes she’ll mimic things I’ve done in the past like write “I love you have a good day” on a piece of paper for me to see. She loves quality time. Which I enjoy. At my job I just had as an Activity Director she’d come in and help me put together all the large events, and be a second hand to game show & craft days, and sometimes call bingo. She’d usually stay and help me clean everything up too.

My INFP also makes me feel loved because of how grateful she is for simple things. She never feels entitled to anything. My eldest ENFJ daughter and my youngest INFP daughter have different dads (they’re 4 years apart). It shows in that my eldest always got whatever she wanted from her paternal side. It’s not that my INFP daughter has been deprived or gone without any needs. But she has never had family that spoil her and it shows.

Whether I take her to go get a new outfit, or shoes, or take her to a museum, or even just a park for ice cream she really values that. It’s just who she is. She says thank you and really means it for the smallest things. She recognizes I’m a single mother and what I give to her in order to have the most of what she can. She sooo much does not want to be demanding that I had to start ordering her to make choices 🤣. Like pick a movie or we’re leaving. Or pick a game or we’re leaving. Or pick a shoe or we’re leaving. Just like my eldest could spare tagging me in public guilt tribute posts. My youngest could spare me by not taking 5 hours to decide between two items 🤣. I had to start telling her to flip a coin or do Inni mini, anything just make a fricken choice lol. Without me deciding.

So in short my eldest makes me feel loved by being thoughtful! And the thought she puts into things. This is not lost on me as I’ve been an event coordinator a few times now. So I can see the thought she puts into organizing things in the details and action/execution. And my youngest makes me feel loved because of how much she appreciates Quality. As she is grateful and just usually happy being apart of the moment.

Side note both my girls make me proud how great they are to each other. My eldest is extremely thoughtful of her sister and takes her to amusement parks etc. And my youngest is often very helpful to her older sis in companionship. I know if something happened to me they will take care of each other. My eldest would look out for her sister environmentally and ensure her needs. And my youngest would be there for her older sis emotionally. They’re extremely loyal to each other. And they compliment each other well.

I guess in this way I’m grateful for understanding love languages to understand how they each communicate their love with me but also the world.

When they were little they made me feel loved when they just called me mommy. Sometimes they still call me mommy, that usually means they want something 🤣 or that they’re hurting and need me.
 

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My kids make me feel loved in different ways. Because they are different.

My ENFJ daughter is really thoughtful about bringing me coffee in the morning. She’s usually up before me getting off of her overnight shift. She does alotta other things related to gifts and acts. I recognize that’s how she communicates love a lot. And that makes me feel loved. She is usually really thoughtful about things like Mothers Day for example and coordinates dinners and gifts etc. She’s always put a lot of thought into these things since she was like 9 and I recognize and appreciate that gesture.

She also makes me feel loved when she comes to me for advice. She just moved out very abruptly because I put my foot down with her and laid down the law. But even so she still knows she can come home lean on my shoulder (literally) and get a hug and ask me what to do about her stupid friends and crushes.

~Weird thing that irritates me that she does to show love~ Social Media Public Displays of Affection. She’s notorious for making posts and dedicating them to people after she recently did something crappy to them. I’ve asked her to stop tagging me in her guilt posts. Lol 😂 she hasn’t stopped. I could really be spared this act. I’d be fine if it came from a more authentic place than trying to rid herself of her own guilt, and it was less frequent. I also wish that she would stop flexing she is 18 and forgetting the manners she was raised with in public spaces. I had to hide her so I don’t see her stories and get irritated with her posting pics flipping the bird. It doesn’t so much offend me at all direct as disappoint me she lacks respect for her elders like grandparents and aunts/uncles. This is not something I relate to as even when I’ve been wild I have a strange line where I show respect to elders who haven’t trespassed.

-My INFP daughter makes me feel loved usually without speaking. It’s in her eyes. She understands me quite a lot without my even speaking on a subject. She likes to make presents a lot for me. Make hand written cards and notes. Sometimes she’ll mimic things I’ve done in the past like write “I love you have a good day” on a piece of paper for me to see. She loves quality time. Which I enjoy. At my job I just had as an Activity Director she’d come in and help me put together all the large events, and be a second hand to game show & craft days, and sometimes call bingo. She’d usually stay and help me clean everything up too.

My INFP also makes me feel loved because of how grateful she is for simple things. She never feels entitled to anything. My eldest ENFJ daughter and my youngest INFP daughter have different dads (they’re 4 years apart). It shows in that my eldest always got whatever she wanted from her paternal side. It’s not that my INFP daughter has been deprived or gone without any needs. But she has never had family that spoil her and it shows.

Whether I take her to go get a new outfit, or shoes, or take her to a museum, or even just a park for ice cream she really values that. It’s just who she is. She says thank you and really means it for the smallest things. She recognizes I’m a single mother and what I give to her in order to have the most of what she can. She sooo much does not want to be demanding that I had to start ordering her to make choices 🤣. Like pick a movie or we’re leaving. Or pick a game or we’re leaving. Or pick a shoe or we’re leaving. Just like my eldest could spare tagging me in public guilt tribute posts. My youngest could spare me by not taking 5 hours to decide between two items 🤣. I had to start telling her to flip a coin or do Inni mini, anything just make a fricken choice lol. Without me deciding.

So in short my eldest makes me feel loved by being thoughtful! And the thought she puts into things. This is not lost on me as I’ve been an event coordinator a few times now. So I can see the thought she puts into organizing things in the details and action/execution. And my youngest makes me feel loved because of how much she appreciates Quality. As she is grateful and just usually happy being apart of the moment.

Side note both my girls make me proud how great they are to each other. My eldest is extremely thoughtful of her sister and takes her to amusement parks etc. And my youngest is often very helpful to her older sis in companionship. I know if something happened to me they will take care of each other. My eldest would look out for her sister environmentally and ensure her needs. And my youngest would be there for her older sis emotionally. They’re extremely loyal to each other. And they compliment each other well.

I guess in this way I’m grateful for understanding love languages to understand how they each communicate their love with me but also the world.

When they were little they made me feel loved when they just called me mommy. Sometimes they still call me mommy, that usually means they want something 🤣 or that they’re hurting and need me.
Wow, that covers a lot of ground.

I think it may be different with dads. But this post reminded me that when my kids get in a real jam, have an emergency or are sick, they want dad, and they want him now. Once again, I must have done something right.
 

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I think parenting is the hardest job in the world and those of us who have children ourselves know all too well that it’s often a thankless task. Growing up, we are dependent on our parents to look after us and make us feel loved. Yet when we leave the nest, it can be easy to forget to let our parents know our appreciation for all the sacrifices they’ve made and the times they’ve been there for us. Do you remember the last time you showed your parents how much you care about them? This question made me search for something special for my mum. She loves going to the theatre, so I'm thinking for buying a marcus theatre gift card Marcus Theatres Gift Card balance - check online | Giftcards market for her. I hope she'll be pleased and feel how much I love her.
 

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Looking back, parenting is basically self-sacrifice. I certainly wouldn’t do it again. It seems the Almighty has provided a countermeasure to good sense and wisdom. The human brain does not mature until age 25. By then the damage us usually done.

My hopes were that it would be over for the most part when the youngest turned age 18. Not so. My oldest is now 50 and it isn’t over yet.
 

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My parents hated me my whole life for not living up to their expectations. My father drank, my mother tolerated. Typical Detroit family, though we never lived there. I could barely get away for school so I didn't have to endure the humiliation. My father feels happy when he can yell at me. He is a tyrant. I used to be angry and now I feel sorry for him. He is sick and needs help. When I cried as a child from injustice, I shed a lot of tears. I don't think there will be any left for his grave. For my mom, I hired staff here homecareassistance.com to take care of her. She even now tolerates my father and tries to cook for him. He walks, she doesn't. I hate him for all his suffering.
 

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Speaking for myself, I'd say respect and consideration. Not in a "respect your elders" way, but the basic respect you'd show to any human being. Unfortunately, my daughter dumped some angry criticisms on me a few years ago. That made me feel very unloved (and still does), although that might not have been the intention.

But we are all different. Some years ago, I belonged to a women's group. One week the topic was Mother's Day. I thought it would be very heartwarming, but it was not. Most of the women complained that they didn't get the right gift, or someone didn't send them a card. So maybe their "love language" was gifts. I don't know.

Others didn't like the phoniness of "special days," especially if their families weren't very nice to them the rest of the time. So maybe they were like me: Just be decent to me throughout the year, and I won't ask for anything more.

I also know other parents with other expectations, e.g., compulsory attendance at family gatherings, or a weekly phone call.
 
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