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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
What makes you feel empowered and how do you empower yourself?

A lot of changes have been happening in my life recently and I've been under a lot of stress. However, since most of the changes are positive I've been trying to stay upbeat and driven. Most of all I've been trying to feel empowered instead of overwhelmed.

Without getting in to the details about my life and its recent changes, I'm curious to know what makes you fellow INFJs feel powerful? I've been getting a lot of attention from men recently and instead of feeling awkward about it I've been embracing it and have used it to empower myself in a sense. I find it quite fascinating actually. I've never been driven by the need to feel powerful, but recently it's almost been like a drug to me. People have even been commenting on it, as if my current drive is somehow physically visible to them.

But really, I'm keen to know about any methods from diet to music or other lifestyle habits that make you feel empowered. What do you surround yourself with to feel that way? I want to hear it all. Maybe we can inspire each other. ~

Edit// Grammar typo in title, which refuses to update. Sadface.
 

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Self-actualization/empowerment/enlightenment whatever you want to call it, can occur when the person abandons, at least for the moment, what he, or she, would like to become and attempts to be what he, or she, actually “is".

In other words “becoming what you are capable of becoming”.

I just basically love myself and love others equally.
 

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One of the biggest things that makes me feel empowered is living on my own and traveling.

When I lived by myself (soon to be again) it was one of the best times in my life. I had no one to tell me what to do, I could do whatever I wanted to and not have to worry about people in the house that I might need to accommodate for. It's not cheap by any means, but if one can do it it's more than worth the extra money, trust me.

Traveling also makes me feel pretty empowered. I set goals to meet, save up the money and then ship on out to wherever I feel like going that week or weekend. It creates a busy life style and makes me feel like I am accomplishing more in life out side of work and since one of my passions I have involves traveling quite a bit.

I must ask, @Angelus does getting attention from men make you feel more confident or empowering? Or would you consider them both to be true? Whenever I get compliments from women or even my bosses or co-works I find it does tend to make me feel empowered and boosts my confidence quite a bit.
 

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Discussion Starter #4 (Edited)
I must ask, @Angelus does getting attention from men make you feel more confident or empowering? Or would you consider them both to be true? Whenever I get compliments from women or even my bosses or co-works I find it does tend to make me feel empowered and boosts my confidence quite a bit.
It's surely a bit of both, but then again I feel like my confidence is relative unaffected by other people as it's more tied to my own image and knowledge of self, etc. Although naturally over a long period of time other people can have an effect on those as well. I'm rather confident by default though, but I feel like most of the time it's a sort of quiet confidence. Add to that the feeling of power and it's definitely more radiant. I haven't always felt empowered by compliments though, it's more of a practiced quality in a sense. Like consciously sucking a certain energy out of people. And gee, does that sound unintentionally sinister.
 

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I'm highly suspicious of anything in me which seeks feelings of empowerment. Power distorts my perception.

If even the tiniest sliver of power-enticement hooks into me I'll start to inflate and my inner voice will begin spitting out rationalizations as to why I should claim the power and how it's harmless to do so.

If I fail to recognize the true and specific nature of the enticement then I'll be subdued by it and carried off to be destroyed.
 

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I think having inner peace when making a decision like being re-assured that "right I've made this choice this what I'm going to do" and not second-guessing a choice, it feels really good. Also waking up early in the morning is one of the simple things that make me empowered!
 

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It's an interesting question. I relate to the drug/addiction type feeling you expressed. I think there's multiple ways one can feel empowered. For myself, if I get too addicted to gaining attention from others, it can go in a really unhealthy direction for me personally. I think it's good to have someone build you up, encourage you and acknowledge your good qualities when you forget. But for me, if I rely too much on that, it feels good in the moment but then afterwards when I reflect on it, I might see it as too much of a dependency mmm but mostly if it is more superficial stuff. I get numb to certain things after awhile because deep down I know they don't mean anything or rather, aren't all that fulfilling in the deeper way which I crave. It's just for the sake of my ego or image rather than for me. At the end of the day, I know the image I project to the world isn't me. It's like a temporary high -- not all that satisfying in the end. I've tasted more than that so I know how more satisfying that is for me on a spiritual level rather than surface level stuff.


I guess just like everyone, I want to be valued for who I really am on the inside, not just a few surface traits or my sexual attraction etc. That tends to be the trap I have fallen for.


Some people have told me that my poetry is powerful or feels empowering to them. It's interesting to me because I do feel like I attain power (in a positive way) through writing poetry. I tend not to know how my poems are going to end when I start them. It's always been therapeutic for me in that I start with a problem and end up with a solution by the end of the poem. They're not all like that for me but a lot of times they are. It's like my own special space to express myself creatively. I think being creative in any way is empowering to me because it's satisfying seeing yourself be able to make something beautiful out of pain. It's transformative and therefore empowering. Seeing the beauty within myself helps.


What else? Just learning anything new or starting a project and gaining the sense of pride that comes from knowing that I put effort into something and I was able to do it. Or if I'm really scared of something and I wind up overcoming it. Challenging myself. It makes me realize that I don't have to be so scared. That at the heart of me, I am strong. I can handle more than I know. Just sometimes I forget that about myself when I grow stagnant or I allow my fear to consume me. Knowing that I went through the fire and I've been refined by it rather than it destroying me. That's an amazing feeling. You know the saying - "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger." I feel that applies. I believe everyone is capable of that.


I think I've always been kind of power focused or focused on power dynamics. I think it may be due to my childhood experiences through feeling powerless and bitter. It's a way it would manifest. Wanting a voice, wanting respect. That's probably the main thing. Power = respect to me in many ways. If I let someone have power over me, it means I have come to respect them. I am always aware of my heart turning this way or that due to my perception of how strong (a.ka. powerful) someone is in many regards. It can't be a false strength either. It has to be legit confidence otherwise I'll detect any sort of weakness and I lose respect.

Um, I also like it when I'm able to make someone feel good about themselves or I'm able to help them in some way. Empowering others = empowerment to me.


Music is great because a lot of the times songs will reflect emotions you are feeling when you have no one else in real life to mirror them back to you. It can be very validating in that way and therefore, empowering. Like "Finally, I'm not the only one who feels this way!" At least, that's how I experience things. Ah, it's so invigorating and makes me feel so alive.
 
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