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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Are there certain things which turn you into a Captain Ahab?

Personally, whenever I find myself in a situation where I lose hold of the reins and become life's reindeer instead, my internal psyche turns into something very ugly.

Situations where I set expectations or goals for myself and slack off or fail to meet those on time, situations where regardless of how much effort I invest I have to accept a loss or the fact that I'm less adequate than I'd like to be, or situations where I set a vision and fail to make it reality.


On the flip-side, I'm also unsettled when I feel ostracized by the people close to me, or by a group of people who all come to a gazing conclusion about my character. Though this bit is probably there for me because I'm fairly in tune with my F side. I've noticed many Fi-Te Te-Fi people seem amazingly stoic when it comes to facing the acceptance or views of others. But I can't seem to come to grips with situations where I make a tough decision towards a future I think would benefit the most people in the long-run, and am cuttingly shot down and dubbed a power-hungry monarch, which is not the case.

Do any of these points resonate with you?

Care to share your own?
 

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I'm always the one with the answers. If there's ever a situation where I can't solve the problem, I sort of disappear. I just vanish. I turn into an empty shell, baffled at my own shortcoming.

And then, to calm myself, I start cleaning.
 

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I think it's really awesome that you consider others in your decision making. Could you explain further how they misunderstand this and dub you a power hungry monarch?

I'm not an ENTJ, but the thing that makes me uneasy is feeling trapped. I need to have options. For some reason, if I don't have a choice, I start to hate whatever it is I'm doing.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I think it's really awesome that you consider others in your decision making. Could you explain further how they misunderstand this and dub you a power hungry monarch?

I'm not an ENTJ, but the thing that makes me uneasy is feeling trapped. I need to have options. For some reason, if I don't have a choice, I start to hate whatever it is I'm doing.
A recent example is a study group that was organized for a psychology final, with 15 - 20 kids.

I came to the group with my own agenda, I'd spent the night before planning and organizing exactly what needed to be studied, how it had to be studied, what was going to be asked, etc. to get the most productive & successful session. Upon arrival I had everyone settle down, and then explained to them what needed to be done.

I must've talked too long or came off too dictatorial because they instantly frowned upon my idea & sort of banded up in mutiny, deciding to take their own primitive course (I say primitive because it was improvised and wasn't effectively targeting all it needed to be).

But anyway, scenarios like this where I come with an idea or a plan which was carefully thought out just to face rejection, I guess you could say, make me question my abilities to get along with others in general. I can explain the logic in a situation, but when it comes to explaining an Ni-vision I tend to crumble -- when something just makes sense to me & I can't see how it doesn't to others.

Not that I cared practically, I studied following my plan myself & scored the highest in the 150-person class.
 

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A recent example is a study group that was organized for a psychology final, with 15 - 20 kids.

I came to the group with my own agenda, I'd spent the night before planning and organizing exactly what needed to be studied, how it had to be studied, what was going to be asked, etc. to get the most productive & successful session. Upon arrival I had everyone settle down, and then explained to them what needed to be done.

I must've talked too long or came off too dictatorial because they instantly frowned upon my idea & sort of banded up in mutiny, deciding to take their own primitive course (I say primitive because it was improvised and wasn't effectively targeting all it needed to be).

But anyway, scenarios like this where I come with an idea or a plan which was carefully thought out just to face rejection, I guess you could say, make me question my abilities to get along with others in general. I can explain the logic in a situation, but when it comes to explaining an Ni-vision I tend to crumble -- when something just makes sense to me & I can't see how it doesn't to others.

Not that I cared practically, I studied following my plan myself & scored the highest in the 150-person class.
Ahhhhhhh, ok I see...well, here's my take on it if you don't mind me sharing...something like studying is an individual thing. We all learn at different rates, have different studying styles, different areas we understand vs. areas we need to focus on. So although your intentions were good, it might've appeared to be a "who do you think you are?" moment for them. Perhaps they thought "who's this guy telling me how and what to study?", you know what I'm saying? This approach is awesome, when applied in the right area, like in a corporate setting. Ask yourself if what you are trying to have people do is something that might not work for all because of the individual differences aspect of it.

If some of the students weren't sure what to study, or how, you could've said "well, this is what I came up with for myself, I can show it to you if you'd like?". When it's a personal decision, just simply share your ideas and that you understand it won't appeal to everyone. If you give people that teeny bit of "option" they will respond much better IMO :)
 

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Oh and don't let this kind of stuff break your leader spirit. They might see you as pushy or domineering, but if it weren't for people who naturally WANT to lead, where would we be? We need leaders. You probably just need to learn how to make it seem like you're being fair, and giving options. For example, when my Husband needs the floor guys to work overtime on a job, he will go to them, explain the job, what needs done and then asks "who wants it?". Someone almost always volunteers. He has made it clear that he's giving them an option out of respect, but if no one steps up, he will have to assign someone to it. They respond very well to him and invite him to go to lunch with them all the time. Most floor guys despise management engineers. He has a great rapport with them, and they go above and beyond for him. His Dad and Brother's are all union workers so maybe he just has a natural respect for them and their knowledge from experience? Either way, he shows them this, and they respond well...no one wants to be treated like they are "just a worker bee", everyone plays an important role in getting things done and should be treated as such. Now slackers...well, that's a whole different discussion :)
 

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Do any of these points resonate with you?

I don't understand that mindset.

I set goals, move forward. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about me.
This is my plan ... this is where I am ... this is where I'm going. Come with me, or don't.
I'm not bothered by other people's personal opinions about me.
I actually get along well with almost anyone. I value their input,
their ideas, and their critique of my plan. I treat others with respect.
If they don't like my idea, that's their right.
If they have a better one ... let's hear it. If it's good, I'll go with it.
But whether or not they like me personally is irrelevant.

If I don't succeed at something, I'm not hard on myself about it.
I'll either regroup and continue forward, or abandon the idea.
I don't see it as failure. I see it as a lesson.
It's more knowledge I've acquired that will help me next time.
 

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I watched an episode of wife swap they other day. Episode six season six.......... that fat lady...... most unsettling thing I have ever seen. I had to take a shower after it was over.
Bahahahaha! I didn't officially LOL at this, but I definitely chuckled out loud...yep COL :)
 

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I'm not an ENTJ, but I used to be very close to one. Not much would shake her, but only 2 things that I could think of would shake her.

1. If she was asked to do something on the fly that she could not sufficiently plan for. She fucking hated that. It practically incapacitated her.

2. Is she was asked to break a plan, she would get pissed. For example, she would plan out her days to a T. She followed a very strict schedule. If she was asked to break that schedule in any way, she would get really pissed
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Quick question. Captain Ahab is considered ENTJ?



We would all be living in very passive-agressive democracies ?
Good question, I haven't ever thought about it. It might be the case, though Captain Ahab's infamy stems from his deep-rooted unquenchable thirst for revenge, which suggests a weak Fe (this could be inferior, or demonic).

Though, INTJ might be the case as well, his Ni-dominance is fairly clear.
 

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My friend the ENTJ gets like that, like @Lol Dictator said, when he loses control of a situation. When he's in control he's very smooth and cool and collected and in charge. The in-chargeness radiates off of him. When he loses that control, he looks lost and purposeless.
 

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Manipulation....

I'm not the kind of person to attack people. I actually never feel jealous or envious of others because I believe that we all deserve a right at opportunities. What unsettles me, is that there are people out there who actually practice manipulation to get ahead in life. That to me, is downright senseless.

I also do not like "games" when it comes to dating. I don't understand flirtation and I actually feel awkward on the inside when a guy hits on me. This makes me feel very nervous but on the outside, I simply just smile and make the scene weird by talking about nuclear reactors or something. Also, If a guy feels he has to try to make me jealous, by flirting with another woman in front of me, it's enough to make me walk out and stop talking to a guy. It just makes the guy look ridiculous that he is trying to instill a sense of jealousy in me. That's a bit of emotional abuse as well.

Homey don't play that.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
Manipulation....

I'm not the kind of person to attack people. I actually never feel jealous or envious of others because I believe that we all deserve a right at opportunities. What unsettles me, is that there are people out there who actually practice manipulation to get ahead in life. That to me, is downright senseless.

I also do not like "games" when it comes to dating. I don't understand flirtation and I actually feel awkward on the inside when a guy hits on me. This makes me feel very nervous but on the outside, I simply just smile and make the scene weird by talking about nuclear reactors or something. Also, If a guy feels he has to try to make me jealous, by flirting with another woman in front of me, it's enough to make me walk out and stop talking to a guy. It just makes the guy look ridiculous that he is trying to instill a sense of jealousy in me. That's a bit of emotional abuse as well.

Homey don't play that.
This all sounds like inferior Se to me. Would you agree?
 
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