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Hiya INFJ's, how are ya today? I was stumbling in this thread and thought about how you guys tick, sometimes its clear, other times its foggy but i'd like to hear your stories, your outtake on your situation.

I wonder, what makes an INFJ so rare? i don't really understand it. And why does it matter even if you are?

This is basically a big fat WHY? Why do you exist teh way you exist? People and situations, did they mold you into this being you are? And what are you like as a person in general, how could i spot you out in a crowd? :blushed:
 

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Good luck finding me in a crowd. :laughing:

Anyway, these why questions always puzzle me. There are so many variables. Stastical evidence suggests we are a whopping 1% (I think? Something like that. Maybe it's 2%...) of the population, but I don't necessarily buy that. Not that it couldn't be true, but INFJs have been called chameleons in the past, and who's to say that there aren't a bunch of us mirroring people in order to fit in? But would someone who tries to fit in really be an INFJ? INFJs like to connect with others, but would one go so far as to completely transform his/herself to do so? So many questions and too foggy of answers for my taste.

As for spotting me, look for the person melded into the background greasing the cogs and gears of others' lives; that's generally where I'm found. I've decided my life's purpose (well, one of them at least) is to push those I care about in the right direction. That's Ni/Fe for ya ;)
 

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1) What makes us so rare? I have no idea. I guess it really depends on how you think about the MBTI... is it nature, or nuture? are typings genetic? answer that question and you'll get closer to figuring out why we are so rare.

2) I don't think it matters if we are rare... at least not to others. It matters to us because we don't have roves of people that completely relate to us... so it can get lonely sometimes.

3) How to spot us in a crowd? I think there's a thread on this somewhere in the forum. Maybe the one about stereotypes? I must warn you, it's not super easy to spot us. We project Fe out into the world. And we have a lot of deep thoughts (Ni), as well as keen sense about what is right and wrong.
 

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Sometimes I wonder if I'm rare because I choose to be. I like being mysterious and hard to follow. Nor do I like being pegged or stereotyped so I shift my intentions a lot. Some days I feel like playing God. Some days, Satan. I guess unique would be a good description. When I was walking throughout my college campus today I could smell fall. I thought about that for a second. I smell a season? But it's true, I've associated a season emotionally with a smell. I think that's another thing that makes INFJ's extremely rare: the depth of our intuitive/emotional perception of reality. I am often moved by the beauty of nature, the shapes of clouds, a praying mantis cleaning itself, or storm clouds dotting the horizon as the sun sets. I often wonder if people even come close to being moved by that sort of thing like I am. Right off the bat I say no because of the evident lack of awareness that others have towards themselves, others, and nature. So I guess one thing that makes INFJ's so rare is that we feel so deeply.
 

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I wonder, what makes an INFJ so rare? i don't really understand it. And why does it matter even if you are?
I was reading on a website (which was referenced in another post somewhere in PerC) that was attempting to clarify INFJ, INFP.

It was saying in regards to an INFJ, that while many try to force the INFJ type to fit them because they want to be "rare" or "special"...the true INFJ will research the crap out of it and other types because they want to make sure it's the type they really are, and not because it's rare. I'm paraphrasing of course. :laughing:

But, like Goaty was saying, it's hard to know if that is even true and for reasons other than statistical. INFJ are chameleons, and may not be at a point in their growth to even understand themselves what is or isn't their preferred way of being when trying to type themselves. If I remember correctly, that same website even mentioned INFJs being the hardest to type because of this type of scenario.

Then there are those that read somewhere that it's a "special" type (hopefully not the short school bus kind of "special"), and try to make it fit. Not necessarily for malicious or even a conscious reason, & so there's that thrown into the mix too.
 

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I'm not sure why we are so rare. As Goaty and Sarah have said, spotting "us" in a crowd is difficult. For me, I tend to be the fly on the wall noticing all of my surroundings. I see things most people miss in their daily routine. I notice the broken light on a fixture while others are adoring its beauty, what the person is wearing sitting next to me rather than his/her looks. I suppose it stems from growing up in a family where there were strict rules (most of which I did not follow). My family had low expectations of me (I was a pain in the rear). It was my goal to prove them wrong, and this I have successfully done. I have a great career and resume, including 2 master degrees. I am not bragging, but my family never thought I would do anything with my life. As far as what makes me tick, it's the need to figure out how something happened rather than why it happened. This provides me with an opportunity to find alternatives to solve the problems in a different manner to achieve a positive outcome. Perhaps it's the educator in me and not my personality, I'm not sure. In general, I'm the person helping the elderly with carrying items while others stand still. I am the person who does not get angrily easily, while the rest of the crowd is in an uproar. I strive to make the lives of children better both in and out of school and spend most of my time finding ways to teach/supervise better. I think if you are looking for an INFJ, your best bet is either in a bookstore or a coffee house?! I have been analyzed for my personality trait by many and it still boggles me why I am a rarity. It's true I enjoy math/logic problems and find reading vs. television to be my choice, but I simply do not understand why this is linked to a personality trait; it's simply who I am. Although I do fit the pattern of "The Protectors". I am not bothered when people are rude to me or demeaning; I laugh it off. However, if you do this to my close friends or my family I will lunge at you with knives of steel and wit. Go figure.....
 

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Sorry for the double post, but I just thought of something else.

If we really are that rare, there's good reason for it. Have you read our "Castle" thread? HA! It's a castle full of unique, interesting individuals....but NOTHING ever HAPPENS. LOL I'm guessing there's as many of us as there needs to be in the world to fulfill our reason for being here at all. Too many of us, & there isn't enough conflict for anyone to learn anything.:crazy:
 

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I am convinced that whatever your type is, it is genetic. I have seen the pattern in my own family, and with others I know. So, I was born this way.

I have tried desperately to not be INFJ, to fit in, to not stick out, to blend, but I just keep busting out of that box and people can still see me. What good is being 'special' if people think you are weird your whole life?? Being unique does not necessarily equal happiness or any good feeling. Now that I am older I care far less what others think, but all along I wish I could have been one of those people that others just liked and thought was ok, an SJ or an SP I suppose.

To spot me in a crowd? I would be the one trying to be myself but also trying not to be noticed at the same time - an impossible combination.
 

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I like who I am. I like my type, as well. I'm told that I am weird in many different ways. I relish dancing to my own drum.
I think what makes INFJs what they are is that they are deep creatures...Ni and Fe (used together, or strength of Ni by it's self) and the ability to use T in both a concrete and abstract way. S is on the lowest end for the most part, but it can be used. As for seeing me, you just may or may not. That depends on my mood! :wink:
 

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Hi Odd One, Nice to see you on the INFJ Forum:)
Why are INFJ so rare? ooh i have some great nutty ideas about that.
I think, many eons ago, the world, and humanity were very different to how they are now.
Many legends and myths talk of a 'Golden Age' of humanity, when love, peace, co operation, high ideals and intuitive empathy were the norm. Then came some great diasters, that changed the face of the world. Humanity had to begin again, to survive, and had to become a lot more selfish, less empathetic and more self serving and concerned only with themselves and their own family, to survive,.. and so on and so forth until present day.
I think INFJ's and INFP's may be a genetic throwback in some way to humanitys past,.... maybe all people were more INFJ like then.
In our present world, things like intuition and idealistic self sacrifice and not useful to survival. Intuitives are the Shamans, of societies, the visionaries, the witches, the seer's, the prophets,. a society doesnt need that many. A village only needs one preist or shaman,.. so nature ensures only so many are born, as they would be surplus to requirements in this day and age.
Thats my theory on rarity,.. does it matter that we're rare? Not to others,.. but , yes, to us, it sometimes feels isolating, in a world that is different now, we are an anomoly, I think.
I also think that INFP's can relate to this a lot too. They're are our brothers and sisters, in isolation :)
G. x
 

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Interesting thread

Do we know that we are rare? - I read somewhere that the stats on this were actually pretty dodgy.

As I have said before I get a little concerned with MBTI types becoming tags (I am INFJ therefore I am x). To me the whole rare thing is part of that tag.

Don't get me wrong, typing and learning more about myself was a massive step forward - like being given an instruction manual after years of blindly pressing buttons and wondering why the picture was fuzzy

But ultimately being rare or not being rare doesn't change the fact there is a world out there that we have to work with.
 

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First question first - I'm doing great thanks!

What makes an INFJ so rare? Well, we live in a world full of closed minded people for starters. We are rare because the tests tell us so. Hard to argue the facts.

Does it matter that we are rare? Oh it makes us unique and in our own minds it gives us a sense that we belong. We now have a reason why we always feel ackward and misunderstood. The diagnosis of INFJ allows us to feel part of something when the rest of the world rarely recognizes our presence. I have a reason I am this way!

This is basically a big fat WHY? Who you calling fat?

Why do you exist the way you exist? Just as you said, we exist this way because of our experiences throughout life. There are far too many factors to take into account. Hormones, learning experiences, peers, parents, personal interests. It's impossible for anyone to explain exacly how they became the person they are.

And what are you like as a person in general, how could i spot you out in a crowd? Always observing, secretly funny, constantly thinking and generally not spotted in a crowd because we disappear into the background. Chances are, we'd be the ones sitting in the back corner watching everyone else pass by.
 

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I thought I was rare until I found about about my stepmum's son.

We share:

- First names (similarly spelt)
- Birthdays (He was surprised to know about Einstein's birthday :p)
- Hair color
- Need for glasses
- Height

Yeah. But I'm awesome because I have crazy psychic powers and stuff.

Stop judging me.
 

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I dont think you can spot INFJs in a crowd. We look normal on the outside, expressing our Fe. You will notice us when you get to talking to us one-on-one. You will think my way of viewing the world is slightly different, but not quite be able to put your finger on why. You will catch that I won't necessarily form an opinion on something straight away but will throw out a few different perspectives and challenge you to re-interpret your view while I go about deciding upon mine. You will feel comfortable telling me things that you tell no one else, or if not I will draw them out of you and you will wonder how I did it with seemingly so little effort. You will notice that when we are having a regular conversation e.g. about the price of bread I may well throw out an amazing insight about the state of human evolution, and say it i n such a succinct way that you may feel it is just a throw away theory, when in fact at the same time I am busy incorporating it into my worldview as a universal truth.
 

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Hiya INFJ's, how are ya today?
Good =) I hope you are doing well, as well.

I wonder, what makes an INFJ so rare? i don't really understand it. And why does it matter even if you are?
Personally, my hardest 'lesson' in dealing with the world (IE: other people) is that there aren't many people who 'care' as deeply as I do. So I suppose what makes us rare is the depth of care we have for other people that we bareeeeely know. I always receive comments from my friends about how I'm "nice" and "caring". I get those the most. My ex told me my biggest downfall was that I was too caring.

Does it matter that we're rare? I personally don't think it matters... at all. I honestly wish INFJ's represented more of the world population... perhaps it would be less (excuse my french) shitty if that was the case.

This is basically a big fat WHY?
Yes.. why indeed.

Why do you exist teh way you exist?
I don't know? Is empathy such a horrible thing? I grew up being subjected to other people's crap, so my brain goes "hey... maybe I shouldn't treat other people like this, because I don't want them to feel the way I do." <-- I'm surprised not many people come to this conclusion. I think if they did, perhaps there would be more INFJs.

People and situations, did they mold you into this being you are?
I think it's a combination of genetics, parents, and environment/experiences.

And what are you like as a person in general, how could i spot you out in a crowd? :blushed:
Some people tell me I don't 'appear' like an INFJ because I like to 'smile' in pictures? I do a very good job of blending into the crowd, I've learned over the years to pass as an extrovert. I have my own funky sense of style, and use the web to portray myself in a way I 'feel' at the moment. A friend made a comment that "none of your facebook profile photos look alike", and I take that as a compliment because I really enjoy switching things up.

In person, I put on a smile so that you'll smile and realize "hey, life doesn't suck so much....somebody actually cares about me!". At home, when I'm alone, I have my dark moments. I'm soft around the edges, I'm careful about hurting other people's feelings. I'm really inquisitive about who you are, I want to know what you do in your spare time and why you're always so 'busy'. What do you do on the weekends? I like to know how you live your life and why you think the way you do.

I always assume the best about you until proven otherwise. I will answer your questions in a superficial way because I'm pretty sure you'll run away if you knew how deep the rabbit hole goes inside me. I have dark days, and the thoughts I have about myself are pretty depressing. I am never the best I can be, and I will beat myself up for it. I often poke fun of myself in horrible ways so you'll relax and put your guards down; I'm not here to harm you =)

You'll spot me in my room most of the time. You'll spot me in grocery stores, or the mall occasionally; and in those moments I will most likely be by myself. You'll spot me on campus in an empty room by myself, if you walk in I may ask if there is a class... if there is, I will probably leave. You'll spot me in the library occasionally. You'll spot me on my laptop most of the time. I'm the student in class with near perfect attendance, I come 10-15 minutes before class. If you see me and talk to me, I will listen to your soul and you'll be scared that somebody is actually paying attention lol (my ex found it frightening I wanted to 'know' about him - he's use to letting strangers talk out of their a$$). We're the quirky persons that appears standoffish sometimes. If you're a societal jerk, there will be an ice-age between us that will be near impossible to melt.
 

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I dont think you can spot INFJs in a crowd. We look normal on the outside, expressing our Fe. You will notice us when you get to talking to us one-on-one. You will think my way of viewing the world is slightly different, but not quite be able to put your finger on why. You will catch that I won't necessarily form an opinion on something straight away but will throw out a few different perspectives and challenge you to re-interpret your view while I go about deciding upon mine. You will feel comfortable telling me things that you tell no one else, or if not I will draw them out of you and you will wonder how I did it with seemingly so little effort. You will notice that when we are having a regular conversation e.g. about the price of bread I may well throw out an amazing insight about the state of human evolution, and say it i n such a succinct way that you may feel it is just a throw away theory, when in fact at the same time I am busy incorporating it into my worldview as a universal truth.
YES!!! Nice summary.

I think sometimes we also have 'coping mechanisms' that we show the world instead of going straight into the depths of NF. I personally use sarcasm, and humor, to deflect people from the serious business that i know life is... Things like that can make typing INFJs difficult. Then again, maybe not everyone has coping mechanisms like me?
 

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YES!!! Nice summary.

I think sometimes we also have 'coping mechanisms' that we show the world instead of going straight into the depths of NF. I personally use sarcasm, and humor, to deflect people from the serious business that i know life is... Things like that can make typing INFJs difficult. Then again, maybe not everyone has coping mechanisms like me?
Oh yeah. I use sarcasm a little less now, but I still use self-deprecating humour to cope with the world and to make people comfortable. Having said that , it would appear I use humour and sarcasm in different ways to most people, as when I am trying to be humourous I am often taken seriously and when I am trying to be serious I am taken to be joking. And when I think I'm being funny, people are like "How is that funny?" and when others are trying to be funny I have the same reaction :laughing:
 
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