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Hello everyone!

This is my first post and English is not my native language, so please don't be to strict with me ;)

Throughout my life I have always experienced a lack of motivation. I have a lot of ideas and i daydream a lot, but I always fail at the point where I would have to turn my ideas and dreams into reality. An additional problem at the moment might be that I am 20 years old and without any idea which job i wanna have some day. The feeling I have almost all the time is a little like a „being stuck in the comfort zone“-feeling and it is really hard to escape! In the past two years I travelled around the world a lot (and also worked in 2 different countries for some weeks/months), and I really loved it! But always when I am back home in my home country (Austria btw) living in my familiy’s house, I’m unable to take any sort of action and it’s even hard for me trying to find a part-time job or something similar in my hometown. I think I have some sort of future anxiety because every time I force myself in front of my laptop in order to get information about possible formations or majors i could get/study, I feel super anxious and depressed and start to question everything in my life, included the whole meaning of my life.

I know that as an INFP, my inferior function is Extraverted Thinking, which logically makes it hard to plan/organize things and take action.

So I would be really grateful for any helpful tips on how to develop this Inferior Function more. And I am generally thankful for any sort of tipps which can motivate a very lazy and day-dreaming person with future anxiety to take action and sit down planning a little on the future without being super stressed and nervous and anxious after 5 minutes :D

Thanks in advance for your help! I really appreciate it!
 

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You need a reason to strive. If you are comfortable, you obviously do not need to work right now (which is really not true in the long run).
You don't need to develop functioning as this MBTI thing is not an exact science by any means.

You simply need motivation. If you have no dreams to fulfill in life then your motivation will always be driven strictly by basic needs like money-housing-food-transportation.

What best drives desire for INFP is to work on behalf of loved ones. We often find importance in being supportive.
 

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Sounds like you need a best buddy, Mine is an ISFP, and we keep each other motivated.

 

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I wish I could give you life tips or something but since I'm 20 too and worry about my future let alone getting a part time job I thiiiink that some more mature INFP should advise you instead. But I will say that I think that my Te is quite developed and the best way to develop it is by understanding how it works, and the best way to do that is to interact with your opposite (ESTJ). So if you read books written by ESTJ's for instance, you can develop that Te thinking ability. Hope this helps!
 

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The best way to use your inferior function is to, well, use it. Think of the logical reasons you should be doing something, start planning out things; just try to work out why doing something is better than not doing it. To be honest, I've never had a problem with planning something: the worst part has always been the part of committing to what I planned and to what I'm doing. You get anxious about the future, but logically, you know that it's better to move forward than to be stuck in a position you don't seem to be enjoying. You don't seem to be satisfied with the "comfort zone-feeling" you have, so focus on that and think of why it's more advantageous to think of the future. Just mold your thoughts into a rational core, I suppose. Having a rational support as to why you should do x tends to be more motivating than uncertain emotion. When I'm anxious, I turn back to logical reasoning all the time: I think to myself "there's no meaning to my anxiety, as it is only serving to make me feel bad and not spurring me into action; as such, I should just get rid of it as it isn't helping me" and it does me some good. However, the anxiety and whatnot don't disappear easily, and while the Te reasoning will smoothen things out a little, you'll still have feels in general, so the best advice I can give you is to ignore your feels.

Or really, the best advice I can give about doing something, is, quite unfortunately: JUST DO IT. It's a very cliched advice, and it sounds horrible at first, but surprisingly enough, this is what works the most. Dilly-dallying with other stuff doesn't tend to get you anywhere: you get yourself somewhere, most of the time, and not something else. Sure, you can take some time off to think and hope you can motivate yourself, but is there a guarantee that will motivate you? No, there isn't. And can you really wait until you're finally motivated just to do anything? Not really, because sometimes you could be wasting opportunities. The best course of action, because of this, is really just to start doing something. Trample over your feelings, ignore them completely, and do it. Starting something is the easiest part after that, but to continue, you basically have to keep doing it. So, KEEP DOING IT.

From what I've come to experience so far, what's helped me the most in terms of getting things done was, well, doing them. It was to just stop dawdling around, sitting down, and doing them. However, it's easy to know why most people, me very much included, have trouble with this (and not just INFPs; loads of people have these sorts of problems): doing things is really freaking hard and troublesome. Deciding your future is nothing to take lightly; it can invite change, and you can never tell what change will bring; but what if you're picking wrong? So many people don't like doing these things because the future's really anxiety-inducing. But what can we do? We gotta deal with that and just do it. After doing it, the anxiety disappears, and it's probably the only way you'll get rid of it; by solving the problem. Wallowing in ideas is easy and makes you feel better, but it ultimately doesn't solve the problem, so you've just got to internalize that: if you don't do things, it won't go away. Everything requires some form of hard work, and it's never like our ideas envision, which can disappoint us greatly: "How am I gonna get far like this? This is actually really tough". Everything is tough, but we've got to do something in our lives. The start is mostly rocky because we make it rockier than it is with these feelings of not being good enough and not being able to commit, but we can commit... If we just KEEP DOING IT.

I'm not the most diligent, committed INFP ever (nor am I the most experienced by ANY means), and I still have times I back down from doing things, but the things I did were usually done with this mindset. Another tip in terms of motivation is to do something for the sake of someone else, like a loved one or something. If you think it's for them, it's usually more motivating because it's not just you at stake here, but someone you care about. Also, over-doing a thing and only thinking about a thing isn't very healthy, in my view, so something else to keep in mind is that taking breaks is fine so as to clear your head and even reccommended, but over-doing breaks is just as bad and tends to drain motivation away rather than recovering it. I've honestly been struggling with doing things in general and have been trying to become a more committed person so I've been putting a lot of thought to this topic to see if I can improve in the realm of being motivated and not being lazy. I really hope this will be helpful, though there will certainly be different methods for every person. To me, this is what's helped me out most.
 

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Beats me. It's not that I'm never motivated. I'm motivated randomly. Ne says what if, and then if Fi agrees we go - sometimes Ne overrules and we go anyway. Or start to anyway... honestly, I don't know if I could pinpoint what sets it off in the first place. For example, some days I get into work and I'm completely badass - loving work and whipping through it. Other days, like today, I'm so bored and completely disinterested. Same with laundry. Same with getting my car light fixed (probably fear of getting pulled over will motivate me to get that one done, eventually). Same with making friends.

Okay, so I guess getting fed-up with myself sometimes motivates me. As to the happy motivation like with my work scenario.. I don't know where that comes from. Again, I guess Ne.
 

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I dont know

i lack motivatin most of them time

that is my main problem, or one of htme, most of my life, and still is <:(

crying smiley


i am a damged kid, still, and rforverr
 

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I second Kinakims advice: Just force yourself to do it.

But also think of why your motivation is so low. I struggle to motivate myself when I have to do things I don't really care about. I feel fake, and it's an awful feeling, especially for an INFP. So the trick I think is to work with something that you deeply care about. I recently took a university course that my mom forced me to take - and I flopped so hard, because I just didn't care about the subject! And it's really hard for us to motivate ourselves when we can't find any reason to care.

So find something you care about - it can be a small but significant outcome of the project you need motivation for. What were your favourite thing to do on your spare time as a teenager? THAT'S what you want to work with! And if there isn't a job for that, find something that can take you to that place :)

I'm not an expert on this by any means, I'm just a fellow INFP who is exactly like that myself. But this works for me. I find something, I think of an outcome that I care about, and all my focus goes into that particular outcome.

Also, having a Judging type in your life is very helpful! Everytime I struggle, I call my INFJ mom and she tells me to get a grip and just do the things I need to do without thinking or feeling so much about it. I hate feeling like a productive machine but that's what's required of us in todays society :(

I don't know if this was helpful or not but good luck <3
 

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I've been in similar moods at times, what worked for me, and might be worth a try is fairly simple in concept, though sometimes difficult in practice is this. Don't overthink it, just get a job if you want one, it doesn't have to be a great job, it doesn't have to be a major life decision, it's just a job, if it turns out it's not a comfortable fit then quit and find another (not necessarily in that order). In a similar vein this is also true (though to a lesser degree) of picking a college major, I'd suggest focusing initially on core curriculum while picking up courses or at least auditing in a variety of subjects, don't pick a major immediately, or if you must then find out how you can change majors when and if you decide you wish to pursue another course. Every decision needn't be of great and lasting importance, in fact it's been my experience that few of them ever really are, over the course of a life you will likely change many times, what seems so important today may seem far less so in the future. So take a deep breath, then take a step, then repeat, if you find your steps are taking you in a direction you don't want to go change direction. You needn't have all the answers, no one else has them, we are all figuring this out as we go along, no need to worry about mistakes, you'll make them, we all do, and if lucky and willing we learn from them and grow, therein lies the adventure of it all.
 

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A strong, undeniable curiosity for the process. Let's say I have an end goal. This goal is super exciting, but also too big for my little self. I know I would have to grow massively internally and leave my comfort zone in a huge way in order to go get it. This fear of discomfort would usually keep me from taking action.
The key for me to take action (aka leave my comfort zone) when I am feeling all the fears and feeling palalyzed by it, because of everything that could go wrong because "I am not good enough yet, I'm not grown into it yet, I'm a little cockroach and this goal is huge", is to find a super strong curiosity for the process itself, not just the goal.
If the process to get to my goal is 100% or even 80% painful, I won't do it. But when I find that golden egg, that curiosity for "What would happen if I went there, talked to that person, emailed whoever, created this one little thing...?" it's curiosity. It's the "What would happen?" "In what ways would I grow?" Curiosity and What Ifs move me. And yes there's fear in the mix, but strong curiosity wins over fear.

I think I have some sort of future anxiety because every time I force myself in front of my laptop in order to get information about possible formations or majors i could get/study, I feel super anxious and depressed and start to question everything in my life, included the whole meaning of my life.
Totally relate to this 100%. What I realized about myself was that I was terrified of doing meaningless jobs for eternity, or in the case of education I was terrified of spending thousands of euros on classes that I would hate and realize "Nope, this is not for me" and quit, thus losing my precious money and time. I wanted to get it just right. Get the situation on a perfect note on the first go. No space for errors.
I believed that I would have to settle for a life of meaningless 9 to 5, stuck in some tiny appartment with 500 people, being broke despite working 50 hours a week. I've been working on changing this mindset for the last 3 years, and for the first year and a half I felt like all my demons were coming up and my mental state was getting worse and worse about job related issues and the meaning of life. There came a point where I got into a depression that lasted a good whole year, and I just couldn't get out of it. It was the expploration of the fear (terror!) of meaninglessness that was destroying my mental health. But I kept going, I kept working on it, and it was a slooooow process, and in the last 9-10 months I have finally felt like I truly conquered some demons. Not all, but some, and it feels amaaaazing. I've started to believe that I can seek meaningful jobs and that even though I still don't know what my "ideal job" is exactly, I know that I will find it in divine timing. I just know and trust that as I meet people, network, and try different things, and follow my interests, something will magically present itself to me. The key is in the mindset first, you have to get rid of the terror, and tone it down to a small fear.
Ten years ago I used to have panic attacks every time I logged in to online search job websites. Nowadays I don't. I'm not totally free of fear, but I go on the webs easily and almost happy, and the key is curiosity. I just get curious "OMG let me check if there's something interesting for me to do".
Every time my parents said "Your problem is that you are fucking lazy!" I just had this sense that it wasn't true. I knew I wanted work, but I didn't understand why job searching was so detrimental to my mental health for so many years. I didn't understand why I would cry for hours before a job interview -except for my ex-job as a librarian, that was the only one that got me excited, nervous but excited.
I realized a decade later (rather late in the game imo. I wish I knew in my 20s what I know now) that I've never been lazy; I seeked meaning. Now that I know this, I feel okay, my mental health has been restored. Nowadays I actually feel excited about doing jobs, and I don't take them super seriously or to heart because I go into it thinking "Oh my! A new opportunity to learn more about myself and my ideal job! One job down, I'm closer and closer to the right one". It's like dating. Every terrible man I come across, I get weirdly excited thinking "Oh my! One man down, I'm closer to Mr Right yaaassss".

I would advice to just work on your fears and get to really understand yourself and your motivations. You can get help via youtube videos on the topic or self help books.
 

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A strong, undeniable curiosity for the process. Let's say I have an end goal. This goal is super exciting, but also too big for my little self. I know I would have to grow massively internally and leave my comfort zone in a huge way in order to go get it. This fear of discomfort would usually keep me from taking action.
The key for me to take action (aka leave my comfort zone) when I am feeling all the fears and feeling palalyzed by it, because of everything that could go wrong because "I am not good enough yet, I'm not grown into it yet, I'm a little cockroach and this goal is huge", is to find a super strong curiosity for the process itself, not just the goal.
If the process to get to my goal is 100% or even 80% painful, I won't do it. But when I find that golden egg, that curiosity for "What would happen if I went there, talked to that person, emailed whoever, created this one little thing...?" it's curiosity. It's the "What would happen?" "In what ways would I grow?" Curiosity and What Ifs move me. And yes there's fear in the mix, but strong curiosity wins over fear.

Yes. Curiosity, curiously enough, can be very motivating, Ne predicts a scenario and there is a sense that there might be a great feeling you might experience from that what if scenario, and so you are pulled to try and pull it off and see if what you expect to happen might happen. That makes things fun.

Also one thing that motivates me is seeing something I know how to do right being done wrong, it's like a perfectionistic tendency throws me into action to correct the thing that has been done incorrectly. I wanted to design my own video game, and I beat around the bush for years, until I saw my friend make a video game and my natural tendency said this " That's not a good game idea" and immediately my mind started correcting the mistakes and I wanted to see if I was right and my new idea was worth something, I spent the next 3 days coding barely getting any sleep due to wanting to see if what I was thinking in my head was actually correct, it ended up being better than I expected and I made my first game.

Also to go off of something @entheos said. It is extremely hard when the pain of the process out weighs the joy of the result. If you have a goal and it's result seems to promise mild fulfillment but the process is extremely painful, as an INFP, forget about it lol, unless your some super pain resistant INFP, you probably won't do it. If the process is excruciating the only way it's worth doing is if the result gives you a larger amount of joy than the pain of the process, that joy promised at the end of the tunnel is the only thing motivating you to go through all that pain, if it's not their and you are going through this painful process you might ask "why am I doing all this CRAP !?" and you'll most likely stop because the result isn't important to you. So you have to have a meaning to why you are doing what you
are doing, and the meaning is usually found in the result. Seek more joy in the result and less pain in the process. That's a good balance.
 

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It sounds like we are most motivated by emotions. Not always the outcome. That's why money isn't always the motivator for an INFP.
 
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