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Discussion Starter #1
I’ve been posting a lot on this forum lately about a girl I like, and today I finally got the courage to ask her out. Well, not really ask her out because I was trying to be less subtle. But once again, I’m even more confused than at the beginning.

Okay, so today was basically me figuring out whether to ext this girl or not, until I finally gathered the courage earlier today. I asked her: “Hey, do you wanna come with me to the cinema tonight; they finally show a good move? (smiley)”. And after four minutes she replied: “Heyyy, I can’t, I have religious education at 6:30, and later I need to continue studying for the chemistry test because otherwise I’m gonna fail (facepalm)(grinning face)”. Btw, with religious education (idk how to call it), it’s like a Catholic thing where you learn more about the faith I think; I’m not sure because I’ve never gone to that.

Now I need help from my fellow INTJ’s to know wtf happened. I thought she was interested because of various of signals, but now I’m confused... Did she politely reject me, or is she really busy? I mean, I basically asked her this night (only this night), and if she is busy, she still couldn’t have offered another date since they only show the movie once. Or am I wrong?
 

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she is religious
religion forbids same sex whatevers

sounds like she be blowin you off
tell her next time you got's big black strap on you haven't broken in yet

I 'members back in college this grrl I axed out
she be sayin she couldn't go out wit me 'cause she had to wash her hair

I replied '' Jesus fucking christ [yes that really is his middle name:eek:h:] aren't you supposed to do that before the date
 

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I don't know. Why? :) I think she's an INFP, but she could be an ISTP, I'm not sure.
She might just be busy, literally. There might not be any secret meaning or motivation behind what she said.

Ask when the busy-ness will be over, and try again then. Also make sure that the activity you offer is one where you're both not physically fixed to a specific spot. Try a walk along the pier, park, etc. I dunno. What you offered sounds too formal and date-like.
 

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Discussion Starter #6
she is religious
religion forbids same sex whatevers

sounds like she be blowin you off
tell her next time you got's big black strap on you haven't broken in yet

I 'members back in college this grrl I axed out
she be sayin she couldn't go out wit me 'cause she had to wash her hair

I replied '' Jesus fucking christ [yes that really is his middle name:eek:h:] aren't you supposed to do that before the date
Well, I know; and it also makes sense. But still, why would she follow lesbians on Instagram if she's religious... And pluss, she doesn't seem so relgious when I talk to her lol, more like anti if you ask me. I mean, everyone in this country go to that, whether religious or not. There's even a gay guy in class that goes to it. I don't, because I'm just here as an exchange student for a year thank God.
 

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Discussion Starter #7
She might just be busy, literally. There might not be any secret meaning or motivation behind what she said.

Ask when the busy-ness will be over, and try again then. Also make sure that the activity you offer is one where you're both not physically fixed to a specific spot. Try a walk along the pier, park, etc. I dunno. What you offered sounds too formal and date-like.
That's what I originally planned to do. I don't know why I even asked her today; it just felt right, but as soon as I sent her the message I just wanted to throw the phone out of the window... But I'm thinking about asking her one last time if she wanna take a run together or idk. Just to be sure, because I always need to know 100% lol :D
 

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Well, I know; and it also makes sense. But still, why would she follow lesbians on Instagram if she's religious... And pluss, she doesn't seem so relgious when I talk to her lol, more like anti if you ask me. I mean, everyone in this country go to that, whether religious or not. There's even a gay guy in class that goes to it. I don't, because I'm just here as an exchange student for a year thank God.
does she live at home under the influence of her sperm donors?
if so she might be afraid of the impact
I'm guessin you both be in yer 20's
that is a hard age for sexual orientation acceptance
ask her out for some clams, your treat:laughing:

since you played your card I would back off and let her contact you
keep your options open too
we NT's can focus on one thing too long
 

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That's what I originally planned to do. I don't know why I even asked her today; it just felt right, but as soon as I sent her the message I just wanted to throw the phone out of the window... But I'm thinking about asking her one last time if she wanna take a run together or idk. Just to be sure, because I always need to know 100% lol :D
I can definitely relate to this "need to know", but it, more often than not, gets misinterpreted as being pushy and controlling.

I would strongly warn against it because you might turn her off and make her flee from you.

Do go ahead and ask her for a run, but do it after her busy period.
 

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Discussion Starter #10 (Edited)
does she live at home under the influence of her sperm donors?
if so she might be afraid of the impact
I'm guessin you both be in yer 20's
that is a hard age for sexual orientation acceptance
ask her out for some clams, your treat:laughing:
I've done some research (as I always do) and I found out that her family were a *host family* for a lesbian student form Italy that did an exchange year three years ago. She's friends with her on social media, and even liked all the pictures from pride. And yes, she still lives at home with her mom and sister (I've never seen her dad actually lol). They seem like a gay-friendly family, but ofc idk.

Nice guess, but I actually just turned 18, and she's 17 (next month); so we're both pretty young. I would guess that she's afraid that some ppl from school will found out she's gay, so that's why she never shows attractions when among classmates. But whenever we're alone or when she's with her mum, it's like a whole other world. So my guess, maybe she's too afraid to be seen with me. That just sounded wrong, but I meant since literally the whole school knows I'm lesbian (there's just 70 pupils :D).

I'm thinking about asking her when the tourists starts to come, since when there's lot of people, no one will notice us being together.
 

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Discussion Starter #12
I can definitely relate to this "need to know", but it, more often than not, gets misinterpreted as being pushy and controlling.

I would strongly warn against it because you might turn her off and make her flee from you.

Do go ahead and ask her for a run, but do it after her busy period.
Ofc, I'm thinking about doing that in about two months time, or three. I still have to see, because I want the tourists to come first. As I mentioned in my reply to @vinniebob, maybe it will be easier for her since then no one will notice us. Now, at this time, everyone knows what everyone is doing and who they're with. This is an island btw :D
 

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Ofc, I'm thinking about doing that in about two months time, or three. I still have to see, because I want the tourists to come first. As I mentioned in my reply to @vinniebob, maybe it will be easier for her since then no one will notice us. Now, at this time, everyone knows what everyone is doing and who they're with. This is an island btw :D
Cool. In the meantime try texting her memes about once a week to let her know you're interested.

Once. A. Week.
 

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I've done some research (as I always do) and I found out that her family were a *host family* for a lesbian student form Italy that did an exchange year three years ago. She's friends with her on social media, and even liked all the pictures from pride. And yes, she still lives at home with her mom and sister (I've never seen her dad actually lol). They seem like a gay-friendly family, but ofc idk.

Nice guess, but I actually just turned 18, and she's 17 (next month); so we're both pretty young. I would guess that she's afraid that some ppl from school will found out she's gay, so that's why she never shows attractions when among classmates. But whenever we're alone or when she's with her mum, it's like a whole other world. So my guess, maybe she's too afraid to be seen with me. That just sounded wrong, but I meant since literally the whole school knows I'm lesbian (there's just 70 pupils :D).

I'm thinking about asking her when the tourists starts to come, since when ther'es lot of people, no one will notice us being together.
are you living in the states?
many places do offer same sex activities such as hiking groups, sports yada
google ''meet up'' groups in your area
 

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Ofc, I'm thinking about doing that in about two months time, or three. I still have to see, because I want the tourists to come first. As I mentioned in my reply to @vinniebob, maybe it will be easier for her since then no one will notice us. Now, at this time, everyone knows what everyone is doing and who they're with. This is an island btw :D
an island:shocked:
with a INTJ on it
damn it thats my dream
I want in
help a brutha out INTJ_X chromo
 

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Discussion Starter #18
are you living in the states?
many places do offer same sex activities such as hiking groups, sports yada
google ''meet up'' groups in your area
If only... This is Croatia. I'm from Scandinavia, but my parents are from Croatia though; but still it was a huge cultural shock for me when I came here. Croatia is gay friendly the longer North you come up, but unfortunately, this is the south... There's literally no groups or meet-ups anywhere around here. The closest is like 300 km away.
 

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Hahaha, what kind of memes? :D Sarcastic, dry INTJ humor would be good, but it's too dangerous; I don't know her type. Yet. :DD
Yeah, sarcastic, dry humor would be good. If she doesn't like it, then you'd be presenting a fake self when you finally hang out with her. If she is into you, leave it to her to find her own reasons to like you.
 
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