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Discussion Starter #1
What are some things you shouldn't say to people?
Foot in mouth stories are always good too.

I learned through a Mom forum that a lot of people get irked by the question "is he a good baby?". I never said it again when I read that :)
 

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In what context do you swear and tell the insensitive jokes that seem to upset people? Like at inappropriate times?
Nah, I could be at a friend's house, at a party (full of teenagers) or just at school.
In a world where everyone strives to be politically correct, fun dies xd

People don't get that I feel comfortable making fun of these things because I'm in a lot of minority groups. Because I'm part of the minority, I'm "allowed" to make fun of it.
 
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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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What are some things you shouldn't say to people?
Foot in mouth stories are always good too.

I learned through a Mom forum that a lot of people get irked by the question "is he a good baby?". I never said it again when I read that :)
While we're on the "mom" subject ... this irks the crap out of me every year:
"Happy Mothers Day"

Say it to your own mother, or someone close to you who is like a mother to you. Don't say it to total strangers.

How do you know that the person you are saying that to didn't just have a miscarriage, or had a child who died, or, like me, couldn't have children. I know that people mean well, but it really bugs me when total strangers - like the checkout clerk at Target - wishes me a "Happy Mothers Day". I know that they don't know my history, but don't assume I'm mother just because I am a woman old enough to have children.

All day long I get to hear people remind of it. I dread it.
 

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fire breathing dragon
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I say whatever I want like 95% of the time so maybe I suffer from this disease that you speak of? Lol. Guess what? I don't care!

Sure, people get offended or a little pissy about things and wonder "How dare she say that?":shocked: But they get over it the moment that they realize that not only do I not care, but that Im going to keep on saying it.

I swear a lot. Talk a lot of shit. I will tell you exactly what I think about something even if everyone disagrees with me. I don't really walk on eggs shells for anyone. So, I think after a while of people getting their panties in a bunch, they just realize that this is who I am and they start laughing at my jokes. I imagine that I offend the hell out of Fe doms and Fe auxillary types but after "correcting" me a few times, they give up too. Im pretty adamant about doing things my way. Im not going to follow social rules because I think they are stupid. The harder people push me to follow them, the more I refuse.

@Enfpleasantly

Im going to start asking mothers that more often followed by "I think a baby being "bad" has to do with genetics. I read a few articles about it". Lol. How much would they hate me?

Also, Im the person that teaches kids to swear, where babies come from etc etc. Nothing is really off limits when Im around. They have to learn about the world at some point and Im not in the business of lying to them so naturally mothers hate me. They get so offended.
 

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Ribalubba caritotunia chipirete serxisuxual pelotinpeloton.

And more.

Also i smell... opossition against the right of free expresion?
 
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Discussion Starter #9
While we're on the "mom" subject ... this irks the crap out of me every year:
"Happy Mothers Day"

Say it to your own mother, or someone close to you who is like a mother to you. Don't say it to total strangers.

How do you know that the person you are saying that to didn't just have a miscarriage, or had a child who died, or, like me, couldn't have children. I know that people mean well, but it really bugs me when total strangers - like the checkout clerk at Target - wishes me a "Happy Mothers Day". I know that they don't know my history, but don't assume I'm mother just because I am a woman old enough to have children.

All day long I get to hear people remind of it. I dread it.
Yes, I agree. This I have never done. There are many people in situations like yours and the ones you named. I'd also like to add the Mother's who are estranged from their children, maybe a child in prison, overseas, etc. sometimes Mother's Day will be a sad day, even for Mothers.

My girlfriend has fertility issues that will most likely never be resolved, even with IVF; she has the opposite stance as you. She has two dogs and every Mother's Day she posts on FB that she is a Mother and wants to hear it. She says it's not just because of her dogs, but because she is a Mother at heart. So, I make sure I send her a special Mother's Day greeting, but that is only with HER because I understand her personal position on it. I wouldn't do that to anyone else unless I knew they thought similarly to her.

I hope no one says it to you, but I know that is unlikely ((hugs)).
 

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Discussion Starter #10
On the topic of babies...I get these constantly:

"Aren't you going to try for a girl?"
"Aww, you need to try for a girl! Everyone needs a little girl"
"3 boys?! Wow, you've got your hands full!"
"3 boys?! You poor thing!"
"I'm lucky, I got my boy AND my girl, our family is complete"
And the saddest one of all: *while pregnant, just found out 2nd (and 3rd a few yrs later) is a boy* "awww, maybe next one will be a girl".

Here are my thoughts:

No, 3 kids is plenty and I I'll not try (at a 50% chance) just to have a girl. What if #4 were a boy? Go for #5? How fair is that to my boys then? Isn't that like telling them "you're not good enough, I have to keep making babies until I get a girl"?

I babysit girls, and I'm the oldest of 3 girls...boys are no harder! Girls whine...a lot.

No, I'm not a "poor thing", I'm lucky to have my 3 boys. I don't need a daughter in order to feel "lucky". And in regard to the "perfect family" consisting of one of each gender, this is ridiculous to think your family is "perfect" because of this. There are pros and cons to each. How about this...your little boy will never have a brother; your little girl will never have a sister. That doesn't mean my family is better, it's just a point I like to make in order to make people think.

And to the last one...eff you! Do not act like my unborn baby is a disappointment because he's a boy. Keep that shit to yourself.
 

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Discussion Starter #11
I say whatever I want like 95% of the time so maybe I suffer from this disease that you speak of? Lol. Guess what? I don't care!

Sure, people get offended or a little pissy about things and wonder "How dare she say that?":shocked: But they get over it the moment that they realize that not only do I not care, but that Im going to keep on saying it.

I swear a lot. Talk a lot of shit. I will tell you exactly what I think about something even if everyone disagrees with me. I don't really walk on eggs shells for anyone. So, I think after a while of people getting their panties in a bunch, they just realize that this is who I am and they start laughing at my jokes. I imagine that I offend the hell out of Fe doms and Fe auxillary types but after "correcting" me a few times, they give up too. Im pretty adamant about doing things my way. Im not going to follow social rules because I think they are stupid. The harder people push me to follow them, the more I refuse.

@Enfpleasantly

Im going to start asking mothers that more often followed by "I think a baby being "bad" has to do with genetics. I read a few articles about it". Lol. How much would they hate me?

Also, Im the person that teaches kids to swear, where babies come from etc etc. Nothing is really off limits when Im around. They have to learn about the world at some point and Im not in the business of lying to them so naturally mothers hate me. They get so offended.
I get you and I know that people can be overly sensitive to some things, but I can tell you this...you would evoke an evil in me like no other if I thought you were taking it upon yourself to overstep my position in my child's life by teaching them things I'm not ok with. I can see why Moms don't like that :) Plus, what if the child says what you taught them and gets in trouble for it? Like to a teacher? That would not be very nice chipps!
 

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I say whatever I want like 95% of the time so maybe I suffer from this disease that you speak of? Lol. Guess what? I don't care!

Sure, people get offended or a little pissy about things and wonder "How dare she say that?":shocked: But they get over it the moment that they realize that not only do I not care, but that Im going to keep on saying it.

I swear a lot. Talk a lot of shit. I will tell you exactly what I think about something even if everyone disagrees with me. I don't really walk on eggs shells for anyone. So, I think after a while of people getting their panties in a bunch, they just realize that this is who I am and they start laughing at my jokes. I imagine that I offend the hell out of Fe doms and Fe auxillary types but after "correcting" me a few times, they give up too. Im pretty adamant about doing things my way. Im not going to follow social rules because I think they are stupid. The harder people push me to follow them, the more I refuse.
How dare you? My Fe is offended!
 
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fire breathing dragon
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I get you and I know that people can be overly sensitive to some things, but I can tell you this...you would evoke an evil in me like no other if I thought you were taking it upon yourself to overstep my position in my child's life by teaching them things I'm not ok with. I can see why Moms don't like that :) Plus, what if the child says what you taught them and gets in trouble for it? Like to a teacher? That would not be very nice chipps!
Children are too impressionable to have around me. If they ask me what bitch means, well Im gonna have to tell them. If they ask me where babies come from, Im going to have to tell them again. I've never understood the point to lying or telling them "you're not old enough to know yet". Swearing is just another form of expression and while inappropriate for children, they know about it anyway, so you might as well go ahead and tell them where/when its appropriate and when its not. Most kids know they aren't allowed to curse, but it doesn't stop the curiosity surrounding it. This is also true for procreation. When I learned where babies came from I was like "what? okay". and I kept on my little way. Most kids dont have the capacity to understand so I don't even see they point in giving them some bullshit story about it. I know that when I was little I wasn't shielded from much so it lost its "cool" appeal. Forbidding me from something is only going to make me want to do it more. I think thats true for a lot of kids. Once something isn't that big of a deal they tend to let it go as well.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
Children are too impressionable to have around me. If they ask me what bitch means, well Im gonna have to tell them. If they ask me where babies come from, Im going to have to tell them again. I've never understood the point to lying or telling them "you're not old enough to know yet". Swearing is just another form of expression and while inappropriate for children, they know about it anyway, so you might as well go ahead and tell them where/when its appropriate and when its not. Most kids know they aren't allowed to curse, but it doesn't stop the curiosity surrounding it. This is also true for procreation. When I learned where babies came from I was like "what? okay". and I kept on my little way. Most kids dont have the capacity to understand so I don't even see they point in giving them some bullshit story about it. I know that when I was little I wasn't shielded from much so it lost its "cool" appeal. Forbidding me from something is only going to make me want to do it more. I think thats true for a lot of kids. Once something isn't that big of a deal they tend to let it go as well.
No need to lie or make excuses. I just simply say "you'll have to ask your Mommy or Daddy that question".
 

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Chatterbox, MOTM August 2013
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No need to lie or make excuses. I just simply say "you'll have to ask your Mommy or Daddy that question".
I'm going to split the difference here and partially agree with @Chipps and @Enfpleasantly . I think little kids should know about procreation, but it should come from their parents if possible. But, if you don't tell them, they are just going to ask someone else, and then they'll hear what they hear.

But, as parents, I don't think you should bullshit them either. Here is why:

When my niece was about 5ish, they did the thing in Kindergarten where they put the avocado seed in the window sill and let it sprout, and then plant it in a cup of dirt and watch it grow. This lead to my niece being curious about how to make babies. I was over at my sister-in-law's and was witness to this conversation:

Niece: Do babies grow from seeds?

Mom: Well kind of. It's kind of like how you grew the avocado plant. The daddy plants a seed in a hole in the mommy's belly. Then the seed grows on the inside, that's why the mommy gets a big tummy. Then after a while, when it's ready, the baby pops out of the hole.

Niece: *scrunches up face and thinks about it* ... After daddy plants the seed, does he fill the hole up with dirt and water it?



My niece is 23 now and that story still gets laughs whenever we tell it.
 

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I've always said inappropriate things without realizing it. It's come to the point where I no longer care. Everyone seems to get offended by something or tries to project their pissed-off-ness onto someone else... instead of realizing it's all in good fun. Therefore, I'm just happy enough to rip people out of their complacency. It's not gonna stop me from making sexual jokes or even racial ones... and I'm not going to coat people's emotions by apologizing. If you don't like it, that's cool. I'll excuse myself from the dinner table, go to the bar, and make the bartender laugh.

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Last month, my friend lost her father and she called me at 10am, right after he died, and kept calling me all day. I was sick and didn't wanna deal with anyone so I ignored her. That night I called her back, and she tried to make me feel guilty for not picking up the phone. So I laid it down honestly to her, "Yeah, I got your messages but I wasn't in the mood since I don't feel well... which is why I call you now. I don't appreciate you trying to guilt trip me just because you feel like shit. That's not fair."

She got really upset with me and said, "I can't believe you're saying this to me... don't I matter?"

I said, "Of course, which is why I call now when I'm in a better mood. Would you rather I lie to you, sugarcoat my own feelings, and just continue to talk to you?"

Then she said, "Yeah... that would be more polite." So I said to her, "If you want that, you have the wrong person."

Insensitive? Perhaps... but I've had so many annoyances with this friend that I'm thinking about cutting her out since she seems to want something from me that I cannot give. It seems that she wants me to be more emotional and "friendly" toward her, and get all Fe-like by acting proper and not being honest. I don't work like this.
 

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Discussion Starter #17
@MsBossyPants Oh for sure! No splitting the thought necessary, because I agree with your stance completely. I don't think kids should be bullshitted at all; I was saying it should come from the parents.

I answer my boys questions honestly and I explain to them in a way that is appropriate for their age.

If I feel my kids shouldn't watch rated R movies, someone might not agree with me, but they are MY kids. That person can do what they want with THEIR kids.

Eta: I was referring mostly to chipps saying she teaches kids swear words. I was talking about that when I said "what if they repeat you and get in trouble?". I don't think kids should be restricted from learning about life; there's just no point other than personal amusement in teaching kids swear words though.
 

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I've always said inappropriate things without realizing it. It's come to the point where I no longer care. Everyone seems to get offended by something or tries to project their pissed-off-ness onto someone else... instead of realizing it's all in good fun. Therefore, I'm just happy enough to rip people out of their complacency. It's not gonna stop me from making sexual jokes or even racial ones... and I'm not going to coat people's emotions by apologizing. If you don't like it, that's cool. I'll excuse myself from the dinner table, go to the bar, and make the bartender laugh.

-----

Last month, my friend lost her father and she called me at 10am, right after he died, and kept calling me all day. I was sick and didn't wanna deal with anyone so I ignored her. That night I called her back, and she tried to make me feel guilty for not picking up the phone. So I laid it down honestly to her, "Yeah, I got your messages but I wasn't in the mood since I don't feel well... which is why I call you now. I don't appreciate you trying to guilt trip me just because you feel like shit. That's not fair."

She got really upset with me and said, "I can't believe you're saying this to me... don't I matter?"

I said, "Of course, which is why I call now when I'm in a better mood. Would you rather I lie to you, sugarcoat my own feelings, and just continue to talk to you?"

Then she said, "Yeah... that would be more polite." So I said to her, "If you want that, you have the wrong person."

Insensitive? Perhaps... but I've had so many annoyances with this friend that I'm thinking about cutting her out since she seems to want something from me that I cannot give. It seems that she wants me to be more emotional and "friendly" toward her, and get all Fe-like by acting proper and not being honest. I don't work like this.
Some friendships just don't work. I can see the points on either side of this conversation, but if you can't understand each other, then it won't work. It's best to just move on when friendships are like this...unless you can get to a point of understanding.


What ethnicity are you?

Drives me nuts.
I'm sure! Reminds me of:

Person: "you were a cheerleader weren't you?"
Me: "no, why?"
Person: "you just look like one"

Look like one? Lol. Ok.
 
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